How to Change Your Nature

Co-authored by Jay Reid, LPCC

Last Updated: April 2, 2021 References

A person's nature can mean different things to different people. Your nature can refer to your behavior, personality, or temperament. Nature can also be how you interact with others or how you are known to others. It can also refer to your spirituality or what you feel to be your purpose in life; therefore, the process of changing or improving your nature should begin with evaluating your nature. After determining your nature or the nature you would like, adopt new behaviors and make lifestyle changes.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Evaluating Your Nature

1
Define nature. Nature can refer to your behavior, your character, or your personality.^{[1]
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Research source} Your definition could be similar or something different. If there is something you are looking to alter in yourself, it is important for you to be clear about what that is; and what you want to change. Differentiate your nature from other traits or aspects of your personality.^{[2]
X
Research source} Decide for yourself what you mean when you are referring to your nature.
- Are you looking to change the root of who you are?
- Are you looking to change your behavior?
- Are you looking to change your personality?
- Are you looking to find purpose in your life?
2
Ask for feedback. We often don't know ourselves as well as those who are closest to us. You can learn a lot about your personality, especially the good aspects, by listening to and observing people you interact with. ^{[3]
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Research source} Also, you can learn about your nature by paying attention to your tendencies, desires, and wishes.^{[4]
X
Expert Source

Jay Reid, LPCC
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
Expert Interview. 7 August 2020.}
- Talk to friends and family and discuss with them how they would describe your nature. Ask simply, "How would you describe my nature?"
- Pay attention to people who dislike you and why they may dislike you.
- Learn from what you are passionate about and what brings you joy.
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3
Complete a personality test. If you believe your nature refers more to your personality, and you have become stuck trying to determine it, take a personality test to help you. Determining Your Myers Briggs Personality Type is another way to shed light on aspects of your personality or your temperament.^{[5]
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Research source} It can show you where you may have strengths or weaknesses and give you a starting point to off of which you can build your idea of your nature.
- You can also complete the NEO-PI-3. The NEO Personality Inventory is the most validated and reliable personality inventory available. It is a valuable tool for understanding yourself better.^{[6]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}
- If you are interested in taking a personality test, visit a psychologist or vocational specialist. Be wary of fake personality tests, especially those easily found on the internet.
4
Make a list of changes to make. After you have determined what your nature is, or what you would like your nature to be, create a list or write out what you would like to change and what your goals are. It is important to write down these changes to make sure you are making clear and measurable goals to reach for.^{[7]
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Research source} This also allows you to be specific and gives you a road map for where to begin. Try these different ways of writing it out.
- Journal about your experiences in trying to make a positive change in yourself.
- Describe your "ideal you," including qualities you possess and how others would view you and treat you.
- Write at least three good things that happened each day as a result of changing your nature.^{[8]
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  Research source}

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Adopting New Behaviors

1
Be more spiritual. If you believe your nature is more about your purpose in life, you may find it helpful to use your spirituality or consult your higher power. Your higher power can refer to anything you believe in that is greater than yourself. It can be God, nature, family, a concept like love, or a nameless Higher Power.^{[9]
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Research source} Your higher power may help guide you toward your true nature, your purpose, and motivate you to improve how you treat yourself and others. Try the following tips to help you become more spiritual:^{[10]
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Research source}
- Find a form of spirituality that you are drawn to.
- Develop a regular practice of that form of spirituality such as attending services or meditating.
- Utilize your spirituality during difficult times to help you cope.
2
Practice positive thinking. Let go of self-doubt or hate.^{[11]
X
Research source} You are possibly looking to change your nature due to disliking or doubting yourself for the way you are. Before you are able to improve or change your nature for the better, you have to try to let go of the negative emotions you are feeling towards yourself.^{[12]
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Research source} Show yourself some compassion instead.
- Smile in the mirror at yourself. Talk to yourself the way you would to someone you love.^{[13]
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  Research source}
- Run through a list of things you're good at.
- Confront negative thinking patterns. Try reframing any negative thoughts. Instead of thinking, "I can never do that — I'm sure I'll fail," try saying to yourself, "I'm scared I'll fail but I'm going to try because I don't know the future."
- Congratulate yourself and be proud about making a positive change.
3
Adjust your attitude. Depending on your definition of nature, what you want might not be changing your nature at all. Instead, consider doing something that goes against your nature for a chance at a better life!^{[14]
X
Research source} Try changing the way you think about situations and your reaction to them.^{[15]
X
Expert Source

Jay Reid, LPCC
Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
Expert Interview. 7 August 2020.}
- If public displays of affection make you uncomfortable but you want to be a more affectionate person with your partner, consider going against your nature for the sake of your relationship.
- If you experience social anxiety, but desire to be a more outgoing or social person, consider making the decision to go out and do something social.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making Lifestyle Changes

1
Change your social habits. Interact with others differently. Many people with favorable natures are considered so due to habits they have developed of interacting with others and the world. Habits are something you can practice and learn. Begin to interact with people with your desired nature in mind. Be inspired by others by finding a person that can be a role model for the change you wish to maintain or the nature you wish to possess.
- If you are more introverted by nature but wish to be more extroverted, try and act like an extroverted individual.^{[16]
  X
  Research source} Behave as you believe an extroverted person would.
- If you want to be a more charitable person, try volunteering more and drawing inspiration from giving and generous individuals.
- Try being an encourager and an empathetic listener.^{[17]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Jay Reid, LPCC
  Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
  Expert Interview. 7 August 2020.} Try to be a person who can feel what others feel, and then support and encourage them to go for what they want.
2
Set realistic goals. When changing your nature, make sure the goals you are setting for yourself are realistic. Setting realistic goals will provide you with the best chance to be successful in making the changes you desire. It is also important to set goals that motivate you to change. Utilize the SMART acronym to help you set realistic goals. SMART goals are:^{[18]
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Research source}
- Specific. Make sure your detail out the goal so that it is as specific as possible.
- Measurable. Make sure you can measure your progress so you know when you have achieved your goal.
- Achievable. Make sure your goal is practical so that you can be sure to achieve it realistically.
- Relevant. Make sure your goal is relevant to the direction you want your nature to go.
- Time-bound. Give your goal a deadline.
3
Adopt new habits. After setting your goals, you should have a clear idea of what new activities or habits you should be working on. How you proceed with the changes to your nature will largely depend on what you want your nature to be and what you have identified as goals for yourself. Adopting new habits can be difficult. Try the following to help you adopt new habits:^{[19]
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Research source}
- Schedule specific time to work on your new habits. For example, if you would like to be more spiritual or meditate more, schedule time to meditate when it works for your schedule, such as in the morning.
- Use any tools you can to make adopting the habit easier on you, such as phone applications to help you meditate.
- Keep track of how often you are working on your new habit by writing down when and for how long you are meditating per day.
4
Maintain your new nature. Make sure you are taking these changes at their natural speed and breaking larger behaviors or changes into smaller more manageable ones.^{[20]
X
Research source} Trying to be the cheeriest person in the office before you can even talk nicely about your friends will burn you out, and cause you to be unsuccessful in maintaining change. Make small improvements and turn them into habits. These habits will build on each other until you have fully changed your nature.
- Practice. Just like learning a new skill, musical instrument, or language, the key to maintaining is practice. The more you practice the easier it will become for this new nature to be more natural to you.
- If you are struggling, use helpers. Have a trusted friend or family member help you to make and maintain these changes.^{[21]
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  Research source}
- Spread out the changes. If you are making a change to your nature try and maintain the change in different settings such as home, school, work, and even errands like the post office.