Becoming a Stay at Home Mom: Affording It & Thriving

Co-authored by Wits End Parenting and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References

Thinking about becoming a stay at home mom? Many parents find it rewarding to stay home with their kids when they’re young, especially when child care is expensive (plus, your kids will love it, too). But how exactly do you make that transition? In this article, we’ll tell you how to plan your budget to afford living off of one income. We’ll also give you tips for thriving in your new role as a stay at home mom so you can make the most of your time with your children.

Things You Should Know

Calculate all of your expenses to decide if you and your family can live off of one income. Weigh the cost of child care against your own salary.
Create a budget that you and your family can stick to.
Focus on paying off any debts and creating an emergency fund before deciding to be a stay at home mom.
To thrive as a stay at home mom, get out of the house at least once a week, and make friends with other moms close by.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Budgeting to be a Stay at Home Mom

1
Calculate your expenses and create a budget. Figure out whether or not you and your family can live off of one income. Write out everything you spend in a month, including food, rent or mortgage, car payments, household items, and entertainment. Then, subtract that cost from your partner’s income.^{[1]
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2
Cut down on expenses. If your partner’s income isn’t enough to keep your family going, try narrowing down what you can do without. Cut down on things like take-out meals, vacations, and luxury items to tighten up your budget. You might also consider moving to a smaller home or a cheaper neighborhood.^{[2]
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- Get creative about the things you can cut back on. For example, if you and your partner both own cars, could you sell 1 and share the remaining car?
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3
Set aside money for an emergency fund. It’s always good to have a nest egg to fall back on just in case. As you plan out your financials, be sure to set aside some money just in case someone’s car breaks down or you or your partner have to pay off medical bills.^{[3]
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- Experts typically recommend setting aside 6 months' worth of income just to be safe.
4
Plan to save for retirement. When you quit your job, you won’t be contributing to a 401(k) anymore. To substitute for that, plan on contributing to an IRA or a similar account to build up your retirement fund for the future.^{[4]
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- If you aren’t sure how much you should be saving for retirement every year, talk to a financial advisor.
5
Weigh the cost of child care against staying at home. For some families, putting their children in child care would actually cost more than the salary they’d make by working. Look into child care in your area, then compare that to the money you’d make at your job. If child care is more expensive than your salary, then it’s probably a good idea to be a stay at home mom.^{[5]
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- Some cities may also have long wait lists for child care, which could be a barrier for you. If you can’t get your kids into child care until a few years from now, it might be worth it to stay home with them.
6
Pay off your debts first. Unfortunately, a high debt-to-income ratio doesn’t leave a lot of wiggle room in your budget. If you and your partner have a lot of debt to pay off, focus on putting money toward those debts before you go down to a single income.^{[6]
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- To get out of debt quickly, pay off the debts with the highest interest rates first.
7
Find a part-time or work-from-home job. Some stay at home moms quit their full-time jobs, but then get part-time or work-from-home jobs instead. If you need supplemental income while staying at home with the kids, consider looking for a job with a flexible schedule that lets you work on your own time.^{[7]
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- Find a remote job by looking at networks like Flexjobs or We Work Remotely. Or, search “remote” on your local job board.
- If you have a full-time job now, talk to your supervisor about going part-time or working from home.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Thriving as a Stay at Home Mom

1
Create a schedule for you and your kids. Keeping a routine will help keep your days and weeks organized (and less overwhelming). It’s fine to deviate from the plan every now and then, but in general, try to make a rough schedule that revolves around nap and meal times.^{[8]
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- If your kids are in school, you can plan out what you’d like to get done while you have the house to yourself.
2
Get out of the house once a week. It’s easy to get stuck in a routine of not leaving your home for days on end. To improve your mental health and keep your spirits up, head out of the house at least once a week. Take your kids to a playgroup, head to the library, or go sit on a bench at the park. The more you can talk to other people, the better.^{[9]
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- Even just taking a walk around the block can be enough to clear your mind and help you feel great.
3
Make other mom friends. Being a stay at home mom can get lonely, especially if you don’t know any other moms. Reach out to friends who have children or talk to other moms while you’re at the park or playgroup. Talk about your experience as a stay at home mom, and commiserate with other women who are doing the exact same thing as you are.^{[10]
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- If you don’t know any other moms in your area, try posting on your local Facebook or Nextdoor mom groups.
4
Expect a messy house sometimes. When you’re at home, it’s easy to think you’ll have all the time in the world to clean up. However, sometimes life gets in the way, and that’s okay! If the kitchen is dirty and the laundry basket is overflowing, don’t worry—that’s a normal part of stay at home mom life.^{[11]
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Have go-to meals on hand. There are going to be days when you don’t want to (or don’t have time to) cook every meal. To make breakfast, lunch, and dinner a little easier, try meal prepping at the beginning of the week. Make easy lunches and dinners that you can reheat for yourself and your kids every day.^{[12]
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- Chicken breast and veggies
- Soup
- Casserole
6
Think about what you’ve done, not what’s left to do. As a stay at home mom, it can sometimes feel like you’re drawing in to-do lists. When life gets overwhelming, try to focus on all the accomplishments you have made rather than what needs to get done.^{[13]
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- For instance, maybe you didn’t have time to clean the house today. On the flip side, you made your kids a healthy meal and took them to the park to play.
- Or, maybe you didn’t make it to the grocery store. However, you had time to play with your kids instead of letting them watch TV in the afternoon.
7
Take a break every once in a while. Make time to practice self-care to keep your spirits up. Being a stay at home mom can be tough, and you deserve a break. Whether it’s sitting in your car with a cup of coffee or going out to dinner with a friend, be sure to let yourself rest and relax whenever you can.^{[14]
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- Even quick, little things that boost your mood count as self-care. If you don’t have time for a long relaxation session, try playing your favorite song in the car or picking up coffee instead of making it at home.
- Make time for your hobbies, too. Give yourself time to be creative and do what you love to avoid feeling burnt out.
8
Think of you and your partner as a team. When one partner works and the other stays at home, it shifts the dynamics of the household. Remember that you and your partner are working together for the good of the household, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need to.^{[15]
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- Be clear about what your partner’s role is as a co-parent. Talk about household chores and other responsibilities. Are you comfortable taking over all the household tasks, or would you prefer that your partner pitches in, too?
9
Exercise regularly. Get your body moving to lift your spirits. Exercise is a proven way to boost your mood and keep your body healthy. It can be tough to work exercise into a busy schedule, but try to do it a couple of times a week.^{[16]
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- Don’t have time to leave the house? Do at-home workouts while the kids are napping or playing.