How to Tell if Your Boyfriend Is Hiding Something on His Phone

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References

It’s important to be open and honest with your partner when you’re in a relationship. If you notice that your boyfriend is being sneakier with his phone than he usually is, you’re probably wondering if he’s hiding something. Read through these common signs of deception to see if your boyfriend is keeping something from you and what he might be hiding on his phone.

Things You Should Know

Your boyfriend might be hiding something if won't let you see his phone. He might change his password or tuck it away when you enter the room.
He might also develop weird habits with his phone, like texting late at night and bringing his device into the bathroom with him.
He could also act suspiciously when you bring up your concerns. He might either get angry with you or dismiss your feelings.

1

He recently put a password on his phone.

If he never had one before, that’s a red flag. Maybe you went to use his phone for something innocuous and noticed you couldn’t get in all of the sudden. It’s even more suspicious if he won’t tell you the password or he changes it right after telling you what it is.^{[1]
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- It’s totally fine for people to have passwords on their phones (in fact, it’s safer to have one than not). However, if he’s super secretive about it, he might be hiding something.

2

He puts his phone away when you come in the room.

Or, he might swipe out of certain apps when he sees you. If he was doing something innocent, he probably wouldn’t worry about you catching a glance at his screen. If you constantly see him swipe to the home screen or lock his phone when you come in the room, that’s a bad sign.^{[2]
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- The same thing goes for his computer—if he exits out of tabs as soon as you walk in, he’s probably hiding something from you.

3

He texts at all hours of the night.

You might wake up to him texting when you thought he was asleep. Or, he might be texting someone while you two are out on a date. If you ask him about it, he might say that it’s “no one” or “just a friend.” However, friends don’t usually text each other 24/7, especially late at night.^{[3]
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- Of course, he might actually just be texting a friend who is going through a tough time right now. If that’s the case, he should have no trouble telling you who it is and what they’re talking about.

4

He keeps his phone locked around you.

He might make a point to lock it before he leaves the room. It’s probably because he doesn’t want you to go through his phone. While it’s normal to lock your phone most of the time, you might notice him checking or double-checking it multiple times.^{[4]
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- He might also turn his phone face down before he leaves the room. This is to prevent you from seeing any notifications that might pop up while he’s gone.
- Keep in mind that it’s normal for people to lock their phones, even if they have nothing to hide (think about how often you lock your phone before you set it down or leave the room). The problem arises when he’s doing it obsessively, especially around you.

5

He angles his body away from you when using his phone.

You might notice this when you two are hanging out on the couch. If he picks up his phone and subtly shifts his body away from you, that’s a red flag. If he had nothing to hide, he wouldn’t care if you caught a glimpse of his screen.^{[5]
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- If you call him out for angling away from you, he’ll probably insist he was just getting comfortable.

6

He deletes texts or messages.

It probably means he didn’t want you to see them. If you happen to check his phone and there are chunks of the conversation missing, it means he’s been wiping them clean. This is a bad sign, since it most likely means he didn’t want any evidence left on his phone.^{[6]
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- Keep in mind, though, that some people just like to free up their storage by deleting messages periodically.

7

He takes his phone to the bathroom, even to shower.

This might mean he doesn’t want to leave you alone with his phone. If he makes a point to grab his cell before going anywhere (even the restroom), it’s a red flag. He’s keeping it close by in case any notifications pop up that he doesn’t want you to see.^{[7]
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- However, if he’s using his phone for something (like listening to music while in the shower), try not to worry about it.

8

He never lets you use his phone.

He might even get mad when you use it to check the time. While you shouldn’t expect to have free access to his phone 24/7, partners usually let each other use their phones to order food or pick a new song to play on the radio. If he won’t even do that, it’s a red flag.^{[8]
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- He might also insist on doing stuff on his phone himself, even when it’s inconvenient (like when he’s driving).
- Healthy relationship boundaries usually don’t include partners going through each other’s phones, so you shouldn’t expect to be able to scroll through his socials or his messages whenever you want.^{[9]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
  Psychotherapist
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}

9

He gets angry if you find something on his phone.

He’ll probably shift the blame onto you instead. If you’re scrolling through his phone and you find evidence that he’s flirting and you confront him about it, he’s probably going to act defensive and hurt. You may end up feeling guilty for invading his privacy, and the situation will probably go unresolved.^{[10]
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- This is a classic manipulation tactic that a lot of people use to get out of trouble. While it may be true that you invaded his privacy, it doesn’t negate the fact that he was doing something wrong.

10

He refuses to talk about your concerns.

If you think your boyfriend is cheating, it’s best to have a talk with him about it. You can bring up any doubts you’re having and why you feel like he’s acting shady. If he’s not doing anything wrong, he’ll most likely be happy to talk it out and work on any issues.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} If he is doing something he knows you won’t like, he probably won’t talk to you about it or he’ll just get angry.^{[12]
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- You can bring it up by saying something like, “Could we talk? I’ve noticed that you’re on your phone a lot more lately and I’m starting to feel a little weird about it.”

Expert Q&A

Question

What does it mean when a guy puts his phone face down?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

That can mean lots of things or nothing at all. I think that really speaks about the relationship because the phone is just a symptom. You should ask yourself something like, "Okay, how can I feel more secure in this relationship?" and then discuss the situation with your partner before coming to any conclusion.
Question

Should I check my boyfriend's phone?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

This is a question of privacy that should be discussed by the couple so that both are on the same page. Try saying something like: "Hey, we've been dating for X amount of months now… what are your thoughts about us checking each other's phones?" Listen to what your partner has to say with attention!