How to Tell a Girl You Love Her (Teenagers)

Co-authored by John Keegan

If you have someone special in your life and you’re ready to express your feelings for her, congratulations! Though it’s a nerve-wracking phrase to say, those three little words are a great way to express the depth of your emotions and build an even stronger relationship!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Preparing to Say “I Love You”

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Find the right time and place. Telling someone you love them is a personal, special affair. You want the moment to be perfect. Pick a location that is private, perhaps even meaningful to your relationship, and a time that is appropriate.
- Don't express your love for her in the middle of class.
- If you are with a group of people, pull her aside.
- You can plan a special date for the occasion. Take her on a walk or a picnic. Tell her during a dinner you prepared for her.^{[1]
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Practice what you are going to say. Saying “I love you” for the first time is really scary. If you’re nervous, planning what you are going to say can boost your confidence. Think about what you want her to know, then rehearse your declaration of love. Instead of just saying "I love you," consider going deeper. For example:^{[2]
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Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.}
- Give her reasons why you love her.
- Tell her when you fell in love with her.
- Let her know how special she is to you.
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3
Don’t worry if she doesn't say it back right away. In addition to preparing what you will say, you should also prepare for her response to those three little words. Ideally, she will say, “I love you too!” However, she may not feel the same way about you.
- She might ignore your comment or divert the conversation to a new topic. If this happens, do not ask her, “well, do you love me too?”
- Be prepared to give her some time and space to digest what you said.^{[3]
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  Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
  Psychotherapist
  Expert Interview. 21 July 2020.} Try to go on with the date as normal.
- Remain calm and mature if she rejects you. Have a positive, kind response prepared—your maturity just might impress her.^{[4]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Saying the Words

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Say, “I love you.” When the two of you are alone and the moment feels right, muster up the confidence to tell her, “I love you.” Look her in the eye, smile, and tell her, “I love you.” The timing doesn’t need to be perfect and the moment doesn’t have to be accompanied by a grand gesture, it just needs to be genuine.
- Tell her when you fell in love with her and or why you love her.^{[5]
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2
Show her that you love her. In addition to telling her “I love you,” you can also show her how much you care. After all, actions speak louder than words! Support her by attending all of her sporting events, writing her notes of encouragement, and helping her meet her goals. Here are some other ways that you can show her your love:
- Always treat her with respect and kindness. Don’t mistreat her or abuse her trust.
- If she tells you that she needs you for something, do everything you can to show up for her.^{[6]
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  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 11 November 2019.}
- You should also make time for her, and—eventually—be willing to talk about future plans with her.^{[7]
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  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 11 November 2019.}
- Go out of your way to make her happy. If she’s having a rough day, bring her flowers to cheer her up.
- Stand up for her. When someone bullies or insults her, shut down their negative behavior.
3
Write her a love note. While some people prefer to say, “I love you,” others have an easier time expressing themselves through writing—everyone loves a good love note! When the moment feels right, hand her the note in passing, give it to her with a small gift, or slip it in her hand at the end of the date.^{[8]
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- You can write a short, simple note, a heart-felt love letter, or even a sincere poem.
- Don't text or private message her, "I love you” or "I <3 U."
4
Be considerate of her response. After she has heard or read those three little words, give her a moment to process and react. When she is ready to respond, give her your complete attention. Listen to what she has to say and react accordingly. Hopefully she will return the sentiment and say, “I love you too!”^{[9]
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- Don’t press her for an immediate response.
- Don’t tell her how you thought she would feel or react.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Determining if Your Feelings are Love

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Consider if you try to impress her. When you are in love with a girl, you are willing to do anything that makes her like you and notice you. You may try to impress her by taking risks or going above and beyond to help others. You may also try to impress her with your ability to play an instrument, play a sport, or show off another talent.^{[10]
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- If your actions are now driven by the ulterior motive of catching her attention, you may truly love her.
2
Determine if she is always on your mind. When you love a girl, it is very common to think about her constantly. Do you find that your mind unexpectedly wanders to thoughts of her throughout the day? Have you stopped to wonder if she is thinking about you too?^{[11]
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- If she is constantly on your mind, you may love her.
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Evaluate if she makes you want to be a better person. When you fall in love with a girl, you may have a strong desire to become the man you feel she deserves. You may feel the need to improve your grades or behavior at school. You may start working out or attending a religious service.^{[12]
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- If you are willing to make an effort to improve yourself on her behalf, you may be in love with an incredible girl.
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Examine if you want to see her happy. As you fall in love with a girl, you may make it your priority to make her happy. In order to ease her stress during exam week, you may volunteer to help her study, revise her paper, or complete her chores. When she becomes sick, you may insist on taking care of her and getting whatever she needs. When she is having a rough day, you may go out of your way to make her laugh and smile so she forgets about her troubles.^{[13]
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- If you are devoting time and energy to making her happy, you may love her.
5
Be certain about your decision. The three little words, “I love you,” pack a huge meaning. Once you express your love, the nature of your relationship with this girl will change for better or for worse. Prior to making this declaration, ask yourself the following questions:
- Are you truly in love with her?
- Does she share your understanding of the word “love?”
- Are you telling her “I love you” in the hopes that you will get something in return.^{[14]
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Expert Q&A
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Question

Should I tell a girl I love her?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

If you're not sure if it's mutual, it's best to wait a while. Let her know that you really like her and want to get to know her better. Then, when you're more sure of your feelings you can let her know.
Question

How can I show her how I feel?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

If she needs you for something reasonable, be sure to show up. Also, if she wants to set up a date with you, don't blow her off to spend time with your friends. Once you're in a committed relationship together, you should also be comfortable meeting her friends and family, and you should be willing to make plans for the future together.

Warnings

Be prepared for anything to happen after you say it.

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Don't abuse the "I love you." It makes it meaningless and dull.

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Know the difference between love and infatuation.

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Don't ever lie.

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