How to Stop a Person From Bullying You

Last Updated: March 22, 2023 References Approved

Being bullied is, unfortunately, a common experience for many young people, but it is possible to stand up to your bully and stop them. Whether a bully is picking on you physically or with negative words, often they are seeking attention and trying to get you to respond. Stopping them often comes down to not responding and avoiding all contact, but there are other, more direct methods you can use. If the situation escalates too much, you might need to involve other people you trust to handle the situation, like parents or teachers. In any case, remember that this is not your fault and it is totally within your power to stop the situation and stand up for yourself!

Steps

1
Ignore mean comments.^{[1]
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Research source} If they tell the teacher that you ignored them, tell the teacher that they were bullying you and that they are bothering you! (Have good bonds with the teacher(s) to do this) Never make the teacher hate you, they won't believe you and you will end up getting in trouble.
2
Tell the teacher, a trusted adult, or friend about any bullying that you or someone else experiences and tell them how you feel about it.^{[2]
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Research source} Don't be afraid to be called “tattletale”, as you are doing the right thing by telling someone. If you don't feel comfortable telling them face to face, then write them a letter explaining your situation and give it to them. They will then most likely read it and approach you, wanting to assist you.

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3
Run away from a physical bully. When they bully you, instead of fighting back, getaway. Do it for your safety, and if they chase you go to where there are other people. If they don't give up, go to the principal office as soon as you can, or go to a teacher who is nearby. If you don't do this quickly, the bully might see you and tell the teacher lies.
4
Defend yourself only if you can't getaway. Don't use high kicks, as the bully will just grab your leg and pull you down. When the bully gives up, don't become the bully by further hurting them, instead just calmly walk away.
5
If you are socially bullied and have no friends, learn how to cope without friends and tell the principal as soon as possible.
6
Develop a positive relationship with your principal and never be afraid of explaining your troubles.^{[3]
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Research source} Be honest but don't be overly dramatic. No principal wants students to get hurt in their school.
7
Stay with a group of friends. This helps! When a bully gets close to your group, they can protect you. They can even report the person when they harass you.^{[4]
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Research source} The bully may not even approach you. If you don't have any friends, just try to stay as far away as possible from that bully or stay within sight of a teacher.
8
Start eliminating problems one step at a time. Become friends with old bullies, or at least neutral friends. Be as kind as possible.
9
Don't let extra aggressiveness from the bully stop you. Get more aggressive in trying to stop it instead of being intimidated. Talk with people around you, find out who else is hurt by that bully, and help them. Report the bully to the principal. Aggressively fight back (without being too physical). Don't let them see that you are bothered by what they say.
10
Stand up for yourself. Someone is bullying you! Don't just stand there and take it, stand up for yourself. This may be a lot harder than it sounds but if you do it, afterward, you'll feel great. If you are not convinced that you have the courage, know what you want to say and who you want to say it to when you are standing up for yourself.^{[5]
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Research source}
11
Know what to say to the bully. A short verbal comeback may work better than just ignoring the bully. When standing up for yourself, you have to know what to say and what not to say. The right thing to do, no matter how far it goes, is to avoid being mean. For example, if someone says something like, “Nice shirt... not!” to you, or something to diss you, you can say something back, that is not mean, but surprises them like, “Thanks! I like your shirt too!” Don't be sarcastic when saying this, sound genuine.^{[6]
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Research source}
- It helps even more if your body language and gestures support what you say. For example, your response may be a simple “whatever…” while you roll your eyes, or you might shrug your shoulders and say “so what?” or “who cares?” or even “was that supposed to be funny?”
- Responses like this take the fun out of teasing for the bully and leave them feeling like what they did was lame.
- It is important to still walk away after you respond to them.
12
Deal with peer pressure.^{[7]
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Research source} Most likely, when you are getting bullied, you will be surrounded by a group. These can be your friends or enemies. No matter who they are, you need to stand up for yourself.^{[8]
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Research source} You may hear someone make fun of you for simply standing up for yourself. Some people may not even support the idea of you standing up for yourself.
13
Try to end the actual bullying. There are times that you can put a stop to a bullying situation. The greatest step to doing this is standing up for who you are and standing up for your friends. If someone insults you again and you are finally done with the bullying, you can say something along the lines of, "You know what, I am tired of you bullying me! You may be insecure about yourself or just not like me, but that is no reason to do the things you are doing right now."^{[9]
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Research source}
14
Avoid starting a fight.^{[10]
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Research source} Often, bullies want the attention, and get the attention. They want to start a fight and hurt the other person's feelings/emotions. Don't show them, and don't let them hurt your feelings. The person may be embarrassed, but you were too when you were being bullied. Your bully heard what you were saying when you stood up for yourself and in their heart, knows that it's wrong to do what they did. Never let them get in your way!

Warnings

If an adult is harassing you and you're a minor, report him/her to both your parents and your local police/sheriff department.

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If you are being cyberbullied from a student or co-worker, immediately report this to your principal/boss. Cyberbullying is a crime.^{[11]
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Trustworthy Source
StopBullying.gov
Website run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying
Go to source}

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Do not fight back with a bully. This is what they want you to do, and you will only make it worse.

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