How to Stop People From Trying to Convert You to Another Religion

Last Updated: April 15, 2021 Approved

We’ve all experienced that one person who seems really invested in converting you to their religion. They might be a stranger in public, someone knocking on your door, or a close friend or family member. You know they probably have good intentions, but you’re just not interested. How do you get someone like that to back off and stop pushing their beliefs on you? In this article, we’ll walk you through the best way to get proselytizers to knock it off while still being respectful of their personal beliefs.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Dealing With A Loved One

1
Change the subject. If this is the first time your loved one has tried to explain to you why your beliefs are wrong and theirs are right, try changing the subject as gracefully as you can. If they are perceptive, they will realize that you aren’t interested in this kind of conversation with them.
- For example, you could say, “That’s really interesting Grandma. I need to go see if Mom needs any help in the kitchen. I’ll be back in a minute and I want to tell you about a big project I’m working on at school.”
- You could also be more direct and say, “Grandma, I know you really want me to convert to your religion, but the truth is, I’m just not interested. Can we lay the subject to rest and enjoy our time together today?”
- Bring up a really exciting movie that you have seen recently.
- Ask them if they’d like something to drink or excuse yourself to the bathroom.
2
Don’t be defensive. Sometimes the problem with religious family members is that they have multiple attempts to try and show you the “right way.” However, if you want religion to not be an issue that comes up over and over, then do your best to approach them lovingly.^{[1]
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- If you behave defensively towards them, it demonstrates to them that you are not secure in your own beliefs, and that they may have a chance to change your mind.
- When they tell you about how great their religion is, say something like, “It sounds like you’ve found something that really makes sense for you. I’m happy for you! I’ve also found a religion that really feels good for me.” This shows them that you support their belief, but that you have different beliefs of your own without being defensive.
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3
Explain to them that you’re not interested in changing. For some, it may be enough if politely explain that, while you respect that they have their own beliefs, yours are different, and that you aren’t interested in being changed.
- You could say, for example, “I think that it’s admirable that your faith in [insert religion] is so strong. I have my own religious beliefs, and while it is good that you have your own, different beliefs, I’m not interested in converting. Maybe we could talk about something else?”
4
Allow them to express their beliefs. Realize that there is a difference between a loved one simply talking about their own beliefs and trying to convert you. Try to recognize that sometimes, they may simply be wanting to talk about a religious belief that is on their mind or something that they read in their holy book. If they aren’t telling you how they have the best religion in the world, and then bashing your beliefs, they probably aren’t trying to convert you.^{[2]
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- If your loved one seems as though they are just talking about their religion, then don’t shut them down. You don’t have to agree with them, but you also don’t have to make them feel as though religion is a taboo subject around you.
- Try to be compassionate and understand that your loved one is just doing what they think is best for you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be honest with them about your feelings, but try to do so in a kind, empathetic way.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Nicolette Tura, MA
  Authentic Living Expert
  Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.}

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Handling People Who Come to Your Home

1
Don’t answer the door. The easiest way to get someone who comes to your home to stop trying to convert you to their religion is to not answer the door. You aren’t obligated to answer the door to anyone. The downside of doing this, though, is that they may try again another time.
- Look through the peephole to see who is knocking on your door before answering. If you don’t have a peephole, try peeking out the window.
- If they ring the bell and you aren’t going to answer, try to make it seem as though you aren’t home. Turn the TV on mute and be as quiet as possible.
2
Be polite. If you do answer the door, there is no reason to be rude and simply slam the door in their face. You may not agree with their beliefs or their way of trying to convert you, but being rude won’t make the situation any more comfortable.^{[4]
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- Say, “Hello, how can I help you?” Don’t just open the door and say, “What do you want?”
- Additionally, being rude may only serve to make them feel as though they need to show you the way, making them even more insistent.
3
Allow them to initiate their speech. They will usually begin by explaining who they are and what their religion is. They will ask if they can come in to talk to you about their beliefs, and why they should be your beliefs too. Letting them get their first bit out will make it seem less rude when you say you aren’t interested, and turn them away.
- Normally, their introduction will only take a minute or two. If they begin to rattle on for 5 minutes while standing outside their door, then it’s OK to interrupt them to explain that you’re not interested.
4
Explain that you are not interested. Do this politely. Explain that you are not interested in converting to their religion. If you want to, you can tell them what religion/belief you follow, but you don’t have to.^{[5]
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- For example, you can say, “Thanks for stopping by, but I’m not interested in converting to your religion. I feel comfortable with my own beliefs, and I’d like to stick with them. Have a nice day!”
5
Try to avoid engaging in debate. It may be tempting, especially if you have strong beliefs of your own, but if you want them to leave you alone, engaging in conversation with them will not help you accomplish this. Remember that your visitors have strong beliefs, which have led them to walk around town trying to “save” everyone. It is unlikely that you can convince them of your own beliefs.^{[6]
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- That said, if you have time to waste, and feel like engaging in debate, there’s no reason that you cannot do this. Just realize that this will take up a lot of your time, and will likely lead nowhere.
6
Realize that they probably won’t give up right away. People who go door-to-door are used to having people turn them down, so they probably won’t be phased by your explanation. They may have counter arguments for why you should let them in to hear about all the ways their religion is the right one.^{[7]
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- At this point you can become more firm in your insistence that you aren’t interested. Tell them you have a lot of things to get done, and although you appreciate their visit, you have to go now.
7
Close the door. If the visitors continue to insist that you should hear them out, you can either just close the door without saying anything, or you can quickly make up an excuse and close the door without waiting for a response.
- For example, you can say, “I really have to get back to what I was doing. Bye!” or “I’m sorry, I have something in the oven that I must check on. Have a nice day.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Getting Away From People in Public

1
Try to ignore them. In public places, you may often come across people who stand on a street corner preaching beliefs at passers-by. If they have not directly targeted you, just keep walking.
- Try to avoid making eye contact with the person. If they are simply preaching to whoever will listen, they will seek out eye contact with people. If you make eye contact, they are more likely to approach you.
- To keep the situation from being awkward, you could take out your phone and pretend to be answering it, talking, or texting. This may deter them from interrupting you. This will also keep the situation from being awkward if they try to stop you as you can simply act like you didn't realize they were trying to gain your attention.
2
Politely tell them you aren’t interested. You can try to explain that you aren’t interested in converting, or that you are very happy with your current set of beliefs. Be aware though, that this is unlikely to deter them. They likely have several arguments prepared against many different rationales.^{[8]
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- For example, you can say, “It seems like you really know about your religion, and that’s great. However, I am as convinced about my own religion as you are yours, so I’m not really interested in converting.”
- If you are interested in engaging in conversation with them then do so. However, don’t expect that you can change their mind.
- Don’t try to reason with them. If they are standing outside talking to strangers, they are probably quite convinced of what they believe. Trying to be rational about how everyone is entitled to different beliefs probably won’t make much sense to them.
3
Make up an excuse. If the person has singled you out and is trying to tell you about why you should convert, tell them you have an important meeting that you are about to be late for, or that you are rushing to pick up your child/younger sibling from school.^{[9]
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- For example, you can say, “I’m sorry, but my little brother is waiting for me to pick him up from school and he’s all alone. I can’t hang around chatting anymore.”
- Don’t wait for a response. It’s possible, but unlikely that the person will say something like, “OK, have a nice day!” More likely is that they will ask you to hang on so they can give you a bunch of different pamphlets and other information on who you can get in touch with to learn more about their religion. The easiest way to get out of it is to offer your excuse and then walk away quickly. It may not be the most polite route, but it will get you out of the situation.
4
Walk away. If the person persists and doesn’t seem to be put off not matter what you say, simply walk away. Realize that they may still say things to you as you walk away and they may even start to be rude. Ignore these things. Realize that you are under no obligation to stand around listening to something you aren’t interested in hearing.
- You may feel rude doing this, but you should remember that they are being rude by trying to force you to stand around listening even though you have already tried to politely decline.
5
Notify the authorities. If the person seems to be acting unnecessarily aggressive towards you or towards others, notify the police. While it is not illegal in the USA to talk about your beliefs openly in public, it is illegal to harass people.^{[10]
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- If this person is threatening people or following them persistently even when they try to get away, this is harassment.
- If the person physically assaults you or someone else, call 911 and inform them of the situation right away. If you can, try to get a picture of the person or video footage of the incident on your phone.

Community Q&A

Question

My boyfriend is a Jehovah's Witness and is trying to get me to convert. Today is our one year anniversary and all he has texted me is a "why you should convert" website. I love him but this must stop.

Community Answer

That must be frustrating, especially on your one year anniversary. Try telling him that you aren't interested in converting and that while you respect his religion, you don't appreciate the proselytizing. Explain how it makes you feel and how you find it be affecting your relationship together. If he doesn't respect this, let him know it's a deal breaker for you because you are more than well aware of his faith and that if you choose to convert, it'd be on your own terms in your own time, if at all

Warnings

Try to avoid making rude comments or yelling at the proselytizer. It only encourages their conviction that you are a lost soul in need of religious help.

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