How to Stop Nightmares in Children

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: November 16, 2021 References Approved

Are your children having trouble sleeping? Having nightmares can be scary and even traumatic for children. Especially when they are younger, they might be unable to explain the content of their dreams. Seek to listen to your child’s concerns and help them learn coping skills.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Creating a Good Bedtime Routine

1
Give your child a bath.^{[1]
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Research source} Having your child take a bath before sleeping will help their body to unwind. The warm water also makes your child’s temperature rise artificially. The contrast between their bathtime temperature and the temperature of the room can help induce sleep.
2
Create a cozy sleeping atmosphere. Make sure your child has enough blankets and pillows to feel warm, protected, and comfortable.^{[2]
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Research source} Close the windows and curtains if possible. While having their favorite stuffed animal nearby is great, avoid crowding their bed with too many toys. They could feel a less familiar one in the night and become scared.

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3
Help your child connect with a security object. Whether a blanket or a stuffed animal, having an object that makes your child feel safe is important. If they can cling to their object when they wake, they can calm themself. Aim for something soft and preferably washable.^{[3]
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- Some parents purchase two or three of the same items so that one is always available.
4
Read happy stories. Before your child goes to sleep, read a few children’s books. This will help them become calm. Avoid any graphic or scary stories that might upset them. Also, avoid scary TV programming. Focus on creating a mood of happiness prior to sleep.^{[4]
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5
Say prayers or wishes. If you are religious, have your child say their prayers before sleeping. They can express any concerns they might have and ask for good dreams. This is also a good time to find out what is troubling your child. If you are not religious, consider having your child make wishes. For example, they could wish for sweet dreams or a fun day in art class tomorrow.
6
Put on a night light. If your child fears the dark, having a soft nightlight can help. When they awaken, they will see their room more clearly. Alternatively, you can leave their door open to allow light to infiltrate their room.^{[5]
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- Having glow-in-the-dark decorations or stuffed animals also could work.
7
Banish bad dreams with a fun activity. You can help to make your child feel more secure by doing something together that will help to prevent bad dreams. Have your child help you develop this activity and add the activity to your child's nighttime routine.^{[6]
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- For example, you could create a special "anti-monster" spray and spritz it around the room right before your child goes to bed. Have your child help you make the spray using some distilled water and a few drops of a relaxing essential oil, such as lavender.
- Another option is to go to the bedroom window and bring down an imaginary shade or bars to keep out bad dreams. Let your child know you are doing this by saying something like, "I am going to lower the anti-nightmare shield now, so you will be safe from them while you sleep!" Then, pantomime lowering a shade over the window.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Responding to a Nightmare

1
Listen to your child. Do not brush off their fears. Instead, ask them what they dreamed about. Knowing the content of their dreams will help you address their fears. If they cannot speak well yet, try to understand as much as possible.^{[7]
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- You could also try asking your child what they would like to have done to resolve the dream or to be the hero in the dream. This may help them to feel empowered and less fearful.
2
Soothe your child. Cuddle with them and hold them close. Let them know that the dream was not real. Emphasize safety. Let them know that they are safe in your home. The doors are locked and you are watching out at all times.^{[8]
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Research source} Share positive stories with them. Talk about their favorite place to play or one of their best friends. Return the evening’s emotional tone to a pleasant one.
3
Help your child fall back to sleep. Walk or carry them back to her room. It is best if they can fall back to sleep in their own bed. Give your child their security object. Although you can stay with them for a little while, it is best for them to fall asleep without your presence. They need to learn to cope.^{[9]
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- Although you might wait for them to fall asleep a few times, do not do this regularly or even on two consecutive nights. Then they will learn to repeat her behavior.^{[10]
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- Generally, encourage your child to stay in bed. It is better for you to respond to them crying than for them to run to you. Helping them calm down in their sleep space will make it easier for them to return to sleep.^{[11]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Treating Nightmares Long-term

1
Teach coping skills. Help your child learn how to respond to bad dreams. When they wake up, explain that they should look around their room and realize where they are. Emphasize bravery and share stories of when you overcame a fear. You also can read books about children who overcame their fears.^{[12]
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Research source}Useful options include:
- Can't You Sleep Little Bear? by Martin Waddell
- What a Bad Dream by Mercer Mayer
- The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark by Jill Tomlinson
2
Discuss fears in the daytime. Oftentimes, your child will be unable to express their fears when they are still scared. During the daytime, for example at lunch, talk about what scares them at night. Come up with solutions to their concerns. For example:^{[13]
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- Perhaps they are worried something is in the closet. Go and look inside the closet to see what is there.
- Your child might think the tree outside their bedroom window is a monster. Teach the child to say: "it's just my favorite oak tree that I love to climb." Alternatively, you could close the curtains or re-position their bed.
3
Create a reward system. For every night that your child stays in bed, put a sticker on a chart. Once they fill the chart, give them a special treat. Tell them how proud you are of them. You might buy them a toy or take them to their favorite restaurant. You can decide the treat beforehand so they have a goal to reach.^{[14]
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4
Take your child to therapy. If none of your efforts work and nightmares plague your child, seek professional help. A psychologist or therapist who focuses on children can help you. It might be that your child has fears that they cannot express to you. A therapist can work with them one-on-one to find solutions.^{[15]
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Mayo Clinic
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