How to Restore Confidence After Depression

Last Updated: September 15, 2022

Overcoming depression is an impressive feat. However, even though you are no longer depressed, you may not have rebuilt your self-esteem. The lack of confidence that sometimes comes after depression can make you still feel bad about yourself. To regain your confidence, work on addressing negative thoughts, surrounding yourself with positive people, trying new things, and accepting your strengths and weaknesses.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Addressing Negative Thoughts

1
Replace unhealthy thoughts with positive, balanced thoughts. When you are depressed, you tend to think the worst about yourself. You focus on your failures or shortcomings and ignore any positive attributes. After you have dealt with depression, start to think positive, more realistic thoughts about yourself instead of unhealthy ones.^{[1]
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- This doesn't mean just telling yourself things like, “You are great!” or “You can do it!” You should look at your incorrect thoughts and challenge them. Ask yourself, “What evidence do I have that this thought is true?” or “Do other people view me this way?”
- If you are honest with yourself, this can help you replace your unhealthy, negative thoughts with positive, realistic ones.
- Make sure that you continue this practice over time. CBT will not change thought patterns after just a week of practice. It may take a while. However, CBT and practicing new thought patterns will physically changes the neural structures of your brain. This is the reason why CBT and psychotherapy are so effective. Being depressed can change your thinking, and CBT is a way to reverse these changes.^{[2]
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2
Accept your faults with your strengths. Everyone has weaknesses and strengths. Everyone has failures or things they're not good at, but they also have successes and things they excel at. Accepting that you have faults can help you boost your self-confidence after depression. Even better, focus on your strengths and what you succeed at. This helps you remember the positive aspects of yourself.^{[3]
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- Remember that you don't have to do everything perfectly or get it right on the first try. Sometimes, you can still try new things or enjoy activities even if you aren't very good at them.
- Tell yourself, “It is okay that I am not perfect. I have weaknesses, just like everyone else. This doesn't make me weak or a failure. It makes me human and makes me me, which is okay.”
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3
Keep a journal. As you are getting over depression, you can let go of unhealthy thoughts that lower your self-esteem by keeping a journal. This helps you get the thoughts on paper instead of dwelling on them because you're keeping them inside. However, don't just write about your negative thoughts. Also write about positive thoughts, too.^{[4]
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- Each day, spend a few minutes writing down your negative thoughts. Then, end with writing down positive things so you can start to see all the good things in your life.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Working on Your Confidence

1
Use self-affirmations. Self-affirmations can help you to start seeing the good qualities that you possess. These may include things that you like about the way you look, your talents and skills, or your personality traits. Take a moment to do a self-affirmation every day to start feeling more confident in who you are.^{[5]
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- Look at yourself in the mirror when you do self-affirmations.
- Make sure that your affirmations are in the first person, such as by using “I” or “My.”
- You might say something like, “My hair looks so shiny and pretty today!” Or, “I am a talented writer.” Or, “I am a kind and compassionate person.”
2
Rediscover your passions and interests. Often when you are depressed, you lose interest in what you used to enjoy. You stop doing what interests you, and you may not think you are good enough to pursue your passions. Return to your interests, hobbies, and passions. Doing things that you enjoy helps you regain your confidence.^{[6]
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- You may need to identify your passions or interests. Start by writing down what you enjoy, what you enjoyed in the past, things you've always wanted to do, and your positive qualities. Use that as a jumping off point for following your interests.
- For example, maybe you used to be passionate about your art and painting, but stopped because of depression. Now you can start painting again, which will help your confidence.
3
Surround yourself with people who lift you up. Misery loves company, and if you surround yourself with negative people, it's going to make you feel worse about yourself. To help keep your confidence high, spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.^{[7]
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- This doesn't mean the people should always reassure you or give you empty platitudes. Instead, the people should help you focus on the positive things in your life and make you feel good about yourself. Don't stay around people who make you feel bad about yourself.
4
Try something new. Depression hinders you by making you not want to do anything, much less try new things. You may not feel like you are good enough to try something new, but that's just your negative thoughts talking. Trying something new can help you build your confidence and self-esteem.
- For example, you may have always wanted to try weight lifting. You can join a gym and hire a personal trainer or join in group weight lifting classes. Perhaps you want to learn a foreign language or how to sew. You can sign up for lessons to learn.
- Remember, you don't have to be great at this new activity, especially at first. Instead, focus on the fact that you are getting out, trying new things, and meeting people while enjoying yourself. That is what important.
5
Spend time with friends and family. Socializing is a good way to help build your confidence. One of the symptoms of depression is wanting to be alone, so after depression, you may need to get back into the habit of socializing. You can go to dinner with family or friends, visit each other, or do activities together.
- If there are friends or family members who contributed to your depression or brought you down, don't spend time with them. Surround yourself with people who will make you happy and feel confident.
6
Read positive or funny things throughout the day. Surrounding yourself with positive, inspiring, or funny things can help you let go of negativity and stop dwelling on unhealthy thoughts. You can get a calendar with a joke or inspiring quote, visit inspirational websites, or read funny memes throughout the day.^{[8]
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- Whenever you start to feel down or start to focus on your failings or shortcomings, read something inspirational or look at something funny. This can help you stay positive.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Taking Care of Yourself

1
Accept what you have been through. Going through depression doesn't make you weak or a failure, but it can make you feel that way and do a number on your self-esteem. Just because you have gone through depression doesn't make you less of a person. The fact that you have overcome it makes you a stronger person. Accept what you have gone through so you can build from there.^{[9]
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- You should remind yourself that you are strong and have accomplished something important, which is overcoming depression. That is a great starting point to build your confidence.
2
Give yourself time. Your confidence won't build overnight. That is okay. Take it one step at a time and one day at a time. Each time you step out of your house, try something new, think a positive thought, or spend time with someone, you are slowly building your confidence.
- It may takes months to rebuild your confidence. Don't get discourage if it takes you longer. Depression is serious, and even after you have overcome it, rebuilding your life can take time.
3
Continue with therapy. Though you may be better and no longer depressed, you may want to continue going to therapy. Your therapist or psychologist is someone you trust who can help you learn how to build your confidence if you are unable to.
- Your therapist can help you learn how to replace negative thoughts about yourself with positive ones. They also can give you tips on how to start socializing again, how to try new things, and how to accept what you have been through.
4
Practice good self-care habits. Caring for yourself physically is also important. Make sure that you are seeing to all of your physical needs as best you can. Some things you can do to take care of yourself include:
- Getting plenty of sleep every night.
- Eating healthy foods and drinking lots of water.
- Exercising for at least 30 minutes every day.
- Making time to relax, such as by doing deep breathing, meditating, or progressive muscle relaxation.

Expert Q&A

Question

What are things that make you feel good?

Lauren Urban, LCSW
Licensed Psychotherapist
Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.

Lauren Urban, LCSW

Licensed Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Focus on things you can do now that you couldn't when you were depressed. Regaining your confidence is going to be a process. Go out and do some things you couldn't do before, like exploring new places, relaxing with friends, or exercising—not with the goal of losing weight, but just to feel more competent and resilient. When you engage in things that make you feel good, you send a message to yourself that you are worthy of care.