Am I Asexual?

Take this quiz to find out!
Co-authored by Deb Schneider, LCSW, PPSC

Deb Schneider is an LGBTQ+ counselor who specializes in creating safe spaces at the high school and college levels.

If you’ve ever wondered “Why are people so interested in sex?!”, this quiz is meant for you.

People who identify as asexual (“ace”) generally don’t experience sexual attraction and/or may have absent or low desire for sexual contact. However, like all areas of sexuality, there’s a whole spectrum. Ace folks may still want close emotional relationships, romance, non-sexual contact like cuddling, and some might even experience attraction from time to time. Sound like you?

You get the last say in how you want to identify, but if you’re ready to explore your feelings and sexuality, click on.

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Questions Preview

1. How do you feel about physical touch and physical intimacy?
  1. Strongly against. I like my personal space.
  2. I like hugging and cuddling but don’t want to do much more.
  3. I like kissing, but nothing more intense.
  4. I wouldn’t mind being physically intimate with my partner.
2. The last time you had a crush on someone:
  1. I can’t think of the last time I had a crush.
  2. It was on a really close friend I’ve known for a long time.
  3. It was on someone I sort of knew well.
  4. It was on a random stranger I found attractive.
3. When your friends point out someone who’s attractive:
  1. I don’t get it at all.
  2. I can see they’re objectively attractive but I don’t feel attracted to them.
  3. I kinda get it, but I don’t react like my friends.
  4. I totally get it.
4. When other people talk about wanting to have sex:
  1. I don’t see the appeal and find myself not wanting to discuss it as much as other people do.
  2. I feel neutral, or I can only relate like 10% of the time.
  3. I can only picture having sex with someone if we have a strong emotional bond.
  4. I can definitely relate.
5. What do you imagine when picturing a future relationship?
  1. I’m not interested in any kind of relationship.
  2. I can picture a close emotional relationship without anything sexual.
  3. I could see myself getting physical after I get to know someone.
  4. I want to connect with my future partner physically and emotionally.
6. When your friends talk about their latest hookup or crush, how do you feel?
  1. I’m not at all interested. Can we change the topic?
  2. I feel pretty “meh.” Sometimes I get bored.
  3. I’ll play along and act engaged, but I can’t personally relate.
  4. I actively participate in the conversation.
7. Does the idea of sex make you uncomfortable?
  1. Yes. Next question.
  2. Eh, sometimes.
  3. I guess not, if it’s with someone I really like.
  4. Not really.
8. If you could have a romantic relationship without sex, you’d feel:
  1. Thrilled. That’s what I want.
  2. Fine. I’d be okay with that.
  3. Mixed. I’d still want to have sex or engage in some sexual acts from time to time.
  4. Pretty bummed out.
9. How does the idea of dating make you feel?
  1. I’m not interested in dating anyone, and I don’t think I ever will be.
  2. I’m not sure how I feel about dating, especially if sex will be involved.
  3. I’m only interested in dating if we have a strong emotional bond.
  4. I’m interested in dating for both the physical and emotional aspects of a relationship.
10. When someone asks you who your celebrity crush is:
  1. I don’t have one!
  2. I give them a name of a random popular celebrity.
  3. I’m not into celebrities, but I guess I can point out an attractive one.
  4. I can quickly name someone!
11. If someone asked for your number because they were attracted to you, how would you react?
  1. I’d tell them I’m not interested.
  2. I’d be flattered, but I’d only be interested in friendship.
  3. I’d be nervous but pretty excited.
  4. I’d be interested. I might even flirt back!
12. Why did you decide to take this quiz?
  1. I think I’m asexual.
  2. I’m not sure what I am and/or I wonder whether I am asexual!
  3. I’m just doing this for fun.
  4. I want to make sure I’m not asexual.

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ABCs of Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

What do the letters in LGBTQ+ stand for? These terms don’t have universal definitions since everyone who identifies with a certain label gets to pick what that identity means to them. After all, it’s hard to define a key part of someone’s experience in a single word! But to give you the basics of LGBTQ+ terms, we’ve put together a glossary of common terms you might see or hear.

Asexual (“ace”) - Asexual refers to a lack of interest in sex or sexual contact with other people. People who use this umbrella term might experience a range of sexual attraction, from zero desire for sex, to occasional sexual attraction, or attraction only alongside a strong emotional bond (demisexuality).

Bisexual (“bi”) - The term bisexual refers to attraction to people of the same gender and another gender.

Gay - While this adjective has historically described men who are attracted to other men, the term now is used to refer to anyone who experiences romantic, emotional, or physical attraction to people of the same gender.

Gender identity - Gender identity is an internal feeling of how individuals perceive themselves as male, female, genderqueer, non-binary, etc.

Gender expression - Gender expression is the external way people convey their gender identity through behavior and physical appearance like clothing choices, body characteristics, speech patterns, etc.

Intersex - Intersex people are born with anatomy or sex characteristics that don’t fit into the “male” or “female” binary boxes. They may or may not identify with the sex they are assigned at birth (just like non-intersex people).

Lesbian - Women and non-binary people use this term to identify as people who are emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to other women.

Pansexual (“pan”) - Pansexual refers to people who are attracted to any/all genders or who don’t limit their attraction to the confines of the gender binary. Some pansexual folks might say that gender and sex are not determining factors in their attraction.

Non-binary - Non-binary refers to gender identity rather than sexual orientation. People who identify as non-binary express their gender and identity in a way that lives outside of and inherently rejects the socially-constructed gender binary. This term can include people who are genderqueer or gender expansive too.

Queer - This is an umbrella term that includes a variety of gender & sexual identities that fall outside of heteronormativity and the limitations of gender binary systems. While the word queer was once a slur, many people in the LGBTQ+ community have reclaimed the term to be radical and all inclusive.

Questioning - Questioning is both a noun and a verb. It describes periods of personal reflection and exploration involved in the process of discovering sexuality, gender identity, and gender expression. Additionally, it can be the second Q to queer in LGBTQQ, to denote the inclusion of folks questioning their identities.

Sexual orientation - Sexual orientation describes a person’s inherent physical, emotional, or romantic attraction towards other people, often based on their gender identity and/or expression. It is often used interchangeably with attraction and sexual identity.

Transgender (“trans” or “trans*”) - Transgender is an umbrella term that includes people whose gender identity and/or gender expression transgress the boundaries of gender and can differ from the sex they were assigned at birth. Since gender identity and sexual orientation are separate, transgender people can identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. The spelling trans* is sometimes used to include all gender-queer or expansive identities.

Want to learn more?

There are hundreds of important terms related to sexuality, gender expression, gender identity, and the LGBTQ+ community. For more info, here’s what we recommend:

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