How to Meet Intelligent Friends

Co-authored by Jessica George, MA, CHt

Last Updated: September 3, 2021 References

There’s an old saying that your IQ is the average of your 5 closest friends. It's true! If you want to get smarter and engage in stimulating conversations, you need to have intelligent friends. You might be wondering just how you can surround yourself with smart, successful people and expand your social circle. Not to worry. We’ve put together a helpful list of ways you can get out there and meet more intelligent friends.

1

Set an intention to make new friends.

A simple change in your mindset can make a big difference. The truth is, you can’t make new friends unless you put in the work to make it happen. Start by focusing your mind and making it a goal to try harder to meet new people as often as you can. The more new people you can meet, the more intelligent friends you can make.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you could tell yourself something like, “I will talk to new people as often as I can” or “I’ll plan to do a group activity at least once a week to meet new people.”
- It’s completely normal to feel a little nervous about putting yourself out there. If you commit to you intention, it can make it much easier.

2

Put down your phone when you’re out in public.

There are a ton of connections you could be missing around you. This is a simple strategy, but you might be surprised at how effective it can be. Instead of whipping out your phone to text or scroll while you’re waiting in places like a library, restaurant, or even a grocery store, resist the urge and try striking up a conversation with someone around you if you feel comfortable. You never know what conversations can lead to more intelligent people in your life.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- For instance, while you’re standing in the checkout line at your local grocery store, try chatting with people around you. You could say something like, “Hey, how’s it going? Looks like you’re cooking a nice dinner!”
- Keep in mind that not every conversation will turn into a friendship. That’s okay!

3

Go to art shows, museums, and cultural events.

Smart people tend to hang out at these places. Look for art exhibits in your area and make it a goal to attend them. Check out museums that look interesting that you can visit. You can also check out cultural events such as plays, book signings, or even an opera. Talk to some of the other people you meet there and you may make some new intelligent friends!^{[3]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you could try a simple icebreaker like, “This is a really great exhibit, have you been here before?”
- You’ll also have a lot of fun checking out some artistic events.

4

Reach out to intelligent people who have impacted you.

With email and social media, you can easily connect with them. If there are any writers, journalists, or even bloggers that you really admire, let them know! Comment on their social media posts or send them a message telling them how much their work has affected you. If they respond and there’s a connection, you could make a new friend that you admire!^{[4]
X
Research source}
- For instance, you could follow a writer you love on a site like Twitter and comment on their posts or send them a direct message telling them how much you admire their work.

5

Hang out with other intelligent friends you have.

They can introduce you to their smart friends. Take advantage of the friends you already have! Think about some of the more intelligent people in your life and make it a priority to spend more time with them. Chances are, they’ll have smart friends you can meet through them to grow your circle of intelligent friends.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- Try joining your intelligent friends on a night out or for a dinner party. You might be able to meet a bunch of their other smart friends.

6

Take a continuing education class.

You’ll meet like-minded people who enjoy learning new things. Look for classes in your area that seem interesting to you or like intelligent people would take them. Try learning something new by taking something like a language class, cooking class, or poetry class. Chances are you’ll meet other smart folks who are trying to better themselves as well. You can meet them in class and you’ll have chances to talk to and get to know them.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Plus, you’ll get to learn something new while you’re at it!

7

Join a running or cycling group.

You’ll meet active people and may make some smart friends. Hop online or on social media and search for groups in your area that you can join. Go out for group runs or rides and chat with the other people in the group. Intelligent people are often active and healthy, so you may be able to meet some new smart friends and improve your fitness at the same time!^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Even if you’re brand new to running or cycling, you can join a group of beginners to get better with other people.
- You could also try out a group fitness class. It’s a great way to meet new people and you’ll have the guidance of an experienced coach.^{[8]
  X
  Research source}

8

Grab lunch with some smart coworkers.

Make an effort to get to know them. Try going to lunch with a different coworker each week. Just because you work with someone doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. Besides, you might be surprised at how intelligent and thoughtful the people you work with can be. Spend time getting to know them and enjoying some tasty food. It could lead to a very rewarding friendship.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Even if you don’t become best friends, it’s never a bad thing to be on good terms with the people you work with.

9

Volunteer with professional organizations.

It’s a great way to organically grow your professional network. Look for professional conferences that are relevant to your field and find out if you can volunteer to serve on the board. You’ll meet other motivated people in your industry and some of them could become great friends!^{[10]
X
Research source}
- For instance, if you’re an accountant, look for accounting or financial conferences that you can get involved with.

10

Join a meetup, hobby, or industry group.

Go at least 3 times to see if you like it. Look for meetup groups and events in your area and sign up to attend them. Search for hobby or industry groups online or on social media and find out when they get together or have events you can go to. Commit to going a few times to get to know a few of the people there and potentially meet some new intelligent friends.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- You might find that you really enjoy trying new things and meeting new people, and that’s great!
- If you don’t enjoy meeting up with a group, no worries. You can always try another group!

11

Spend time around any smart people you know.

Surround yourself with intelligent people as much as you can. Think about some of the smartest people you know. Even if you aren’t super close or friends yet doesn’t mean you can’t make an effort to get to know them. Try spending more time around them or reaching out to see if they’d like to grab a meal, coffee, or maybe even a drink. They could become a new friend!^{[12]
X
Research source}
- For example, if you have a relative that has a really smart friend, try hanging out with them. You could try a simple invite like, “Hi, Sarah! Any chance you’d like to grab a coffee sometime?”

12

Go through your alumni network if you have one.

Ask them to connect you to alumna in your area. Many colleges and universities have alumni groups that can help connect people who attended your school or even earned the same degree as you. Try reaching out to them or posting on their message board to ask if they know anyone who lives in your area. You’ll get connected to people who have the shared experience of going to the same school.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- Since anyone you meet likely earned a college degree, chances are they’re intelligent!
- This is also a great way to meet new people if you move to a new area where you don’t know anybody.

13

Consider hiring a friendship coach.

A professional can help you make the right friends. It may sound cheesy, but it can actually work! There are trained professionals who can coach and help you get out there and meet the right new friends. Search for friendship coaches in your area and contact them to get started.^{[14]
X
Research source}