How to Love Your Dark Skin

Co-authored by Kamila Tan

Last Updated: July 26, 2022 References Approved

In the world today, it’s difficult to avoid the pressure to be perfect. People of color, or those with darker skin tones, are often subject to feeling inadequate or being ridiculed for their darker hues. But having a darker skin tone doesn’t mean you are less valuable or worthy of loving yourself. Working on your self-esteem, taking good care of your dark skin, and learning to overcome colorism are all important aspects of loving your dark skin.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Working on Your Self-Image

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Avoid comparing yourself to other people. As someone with dark skin, you might be tempted to compare yourself to others, especially those with lighter skin tones. Try your best to avoid comparing yourself to other people. Ideally, the only competitor you should have in life is yourself. Work towards being the best version of yourself.
- Focusing on bettering yourself through accomplishments rather than physical attributes can be helpful. Instead of basing your value on the color of your skin, base it on how good of a person you are. Work on being a good person, not just a beautiful one.
2
Reevaluate your idea of beauty. Understand that the media promotes a certain image of what is beautiful, and tends not to acknowledge types of beauty that exist outside of this set ideal. But, in many parts of the world, those with darker skin are seen as the ideal image of beauty. Recognize that despite what the media might be telling you, you are still beautiful.^{[1]
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- Rather than assuming your skin is a negative aspect of your physical appearance, remind yourself daily that your skin color is just another special part of what makes you unique and diverse.
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3
Be positive and encouraging. Instead of letting yourself feel bad, turn those negative feelings around and encourage yourself to look at things in a more positive light. Reroute those negative thoughts into more positive ones.^{[2]
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- Instead of thinking or saying something like “I wish my skin were lighter” or “My skin is unattractive,” say something like “My dark skin makes me different from others and that makes me special.”
- Tell yourself: “My dark skin is beautiful. I am more than my outward appearance.”
4
Focus on what you love about yourself. Keep a list of the things that you think are great about you. Maybe you have a really lovely smile, maybe you have a knack for making people laugh, or maybe you are a great friend. Focus on the things you love about yourself, and you might find that you begin to love other parts of yourself in the process.
- Take the time to get to know yourself on a deeper level. Rather than simply staring into the mirror, take an inventory of the qualities you possess that aren’t visible to the naked eye.
5
Accept yourself. By doing some self-praise and celebrating the things that make you unique and beautiful, you can begin to accept and love yourself for who you are. By channeling your energy into loving and accepting yourself rather than criticizing your attributes, you might begin to feel more at home in your own skin.^{[3]
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- When you want to say or think something negative about yourself, including anything negative about your dark skin, consider this: would you say it to a loved one? Would you put down a loved one in the same way? Loving yourself means treating yourself better, starting from the inside out. Try to speak to yourself the way you would a dear friend or a loved one.
6
Have a dark-skinned role model. There are many celebrities and famous figures with dark skin who are admired and adored by people around the world. Actresses like Lupita Nyong’o and athletes like Michael Jordan are great role models for self-acceptance and a positive self-image, and are admired and respected.
- Lupita Nyong’o said that until she found other dark skinned women to look up to, such as Oprah and Whoopi Goldberg, she never imagined being an actress was possible.^{[4]
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  Research source} By looking up to successful people with dark skin, you may be inspired to believe better, more positive things about yourself.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Overcoming Colorism

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Educate yourself on the issue. Colorism is when people of color are treated in a discriminatory way, simply due to the color of their skin. People of color being met with prejudice is also a form of colorism. By educating yourself on this issue, you can work towards joining the efforts to eliminate it.
- Colorism is different from racism in that it addresses the color of one’s skin, rather than their racial background. Still, colorism can be just as damaging and problematic.
2
Shut down stereotyping. If you notice that you are stereotyping others, try to correct this behavior. Avoid lumping people into categories or assuming things about them based on their physical appearance. By ending this practice in your own life, you might be able to encourage others to do so in their own.^{[5]
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- If you notice this behavior in yourself, or in someone close to you, acknowledge it. Remind yourself—and others—that people are more than stereotypes.
3
Practice acceptance. Work towards accepting yourself for you who are, and accepting others for who they are. Practicing acceptance is one of the keys to being a happier person, yet many people seem to struggle with it more than other interpersonal skills. Work on being more aware of your self-acceptance, as well as of how willing you are to accept others.^{[6]
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- Accepting yourself is the first step to loving yourself exactly as you are. If you are focused on your dark skin as something you cannot accept about yourself, you will have trouble loving your skin, and in turn, yourself.
4
Support anti-colorism campaigns. The Dark is Beautiful campaign by Women of Worth works to promote the idea that every person is beautiful, regardless of their skin color. There are many other campaigns out there that promote this idea, and supporting these campaigns can help you become more involved in the issue.
- Using your social media outlets to promote self-love and the idea that all skin colors are beautiful is another way to get involved with the issue. Many campaigns like Dark is Beautiful have social media pages you can follow and promote.
- Follow and post with the hashtag #IWillNotApologizeForBeingDarkSkin to show your support for the cause, and to engage with a growing social media movement.^{[7]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Caring for Your Dark Skin

1
Care for your skin type. When it comes to caring for your skin, it’s more important to know your skin type rather than focusing on its pigment. For example, the fact that you are prone to oily skin will have more of an effect on your skincare routine than the fact that your skin is dark.^{[8]
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- Read labels on skincare products. Look for products that cater to your skin’s specific needs. If you have especially oily skin, you might want to get a cleanser that is oil-free. Or, if you have especially dry skin, you might want to look for a gentle moisturizer.
2
Wear sunscreen. Even though those with dark skin have more melanin, which helps protect your skin from sunburn, UV rays can still damage dark skin. Increased melanin does not protect against melanoma, which is a form of skin cancer, so wearing sunscreen every day is vital, regardless of your skin color.^{[9]
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- There are even many daily moisturizing creams you can wear that are lightweight and oil-free while carrying a sun protection factor (SPF) of 30 or higher. Try to stick with at least this level of protection or higher.
3
Exfoliate daily. Use a gentle exfoliating scrub each day to keep your skin healthy, clear, and glowing. Daily exfoliation can help improve your skin’s tone and texture, as it buffs away dead skin and gets rid of any product build-up that might be present.^{[10]
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- There are exfoliating products for your face that are a bit more gentle than those for use all over your body. Look for face washes that have exfoliating beads, and body scrubs that also contain moisturizers for a one-step process.

Warnings

Becoming comfortable with your skin tone means becoming comfortable with who you are on a deeper level. The emotions to be addressed are rarely only about the color of the skin.

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