How to Let Go of Internalized Misogyny

Last Updated: October 25, 2021 References

Misogyny is society is prevalent. Although we've come a much longer way than we were 80 years ago, there are still things that need to be changed. Internalized misogyny is a very common experience due to people disliking things commonly associated with womanhood and femininity. Here, you can learn how to cope with it and let go of your internalized misogyny.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Understanding your Internalized Misogyny

1
Address where your internalized misogyny lies. Do you hate all things related to pink? Do you not like dresses? Do you resent shoe shopping? Understand that all of these things are societal norms related to womanhood.
- When addressing your internalized misogyny, try to see what you associate with women, and what you don't like. ^{[1]
  X
  Research source}
2
Ask yourself when you began disliking "feminine" things. Was it as you got older? As you got access to more forms of media?
- The root of most internalized misogyny is not because of ourselves, but actually the internalized male gaze (trying to appeal to hypothetical "men" that don't exist) and the people around us.
Advertisement
3
Try and see why you dislike "womanly" things. Is it because you're a tomboy? Or do you just not like the idea of being seen being "feminine?" It's also very common to dislike being seen as things that people associate with women, such as being "too emotional." ^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Disliking been seen as feminine is due to wanting to appeal to men, including misogynistic ones. It stems from the idea of women being "weak" and wanting to show men that you're different, and that you're capable of things. Ask yourself why you see femininity as weak and undesirable.
4
Come to terms with your bias. A key part of letting go of your internalized misogyny is accepting that it's there. ^{[3]
X
Research source}
- When you're coming to terms with it, understand that having internalized misogyny is normal. However, you must also understand that internalized misogyny is not a good thing and not something to be proud of.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Educating yourself About Misogyny

1
Research about misogyny. Try and understand other women that you know of. Do you view them as weak and incapable, or as normal human beings like any other? A big part about letting go of your internalized misogyny is understanding women, whether you are one or not.
- If you view women as weak, incapable beings, try educating yourself on societal norms about women and gender norms! Make sure you also look into things, such as the gender pay-gap and also women's rights issues. ^{[4]
  X
  Research source}
2
Ask women in your life about misogyny. Try asking your mom or a close friend about their experiences with misogyny, and if they've ever experienced any disrespect because of the sole reason that is their gender.
- Try to connect their possible experiences to your internalized bias on femininity. Ask yourself if you only don't like "womanly" things because you don't want those experiences to happen to you.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Finally Letting Go of Your Internal Bias

1
Understand that you could just not like things associated with femininity. It's completely okay to not like pink, girlish things, or dresses. It's only a problem if you don't like them because of their association with womanhood.
- Make sure you genuinely don't like femininity, and not as a cover-up for your internalized misogyny. It might take a while, but you really need to be confident that you have no bias against women.
2
Show pride in your femininity. Although it may take a while to be fully comfortable in it, try to be more open minded into things typically associated with girlishness.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- If you aren't comfortable in being "girly", try letting go of your bias by simply understanding that disliking feminine things because they're viewed as feminine is wrong.
3
Try taking a quick social media break. Although difficult, you'll have more time to yourself to understand what your true likes and dislikes are. You'll also have more time to embrace them!
- If you can't take a social media break, try staying out of political spaces and spaces vulnerable to misogyny. If you expose yourself to misogyny, you're more likely to internalize it again!
4
Be confident in yourself. Being confident in yourself makes it much easier to embrace your inner femininity and not care what others around you may say. It might sound cliché, but it's true! Not cracking to peer pressure is an important part of being true to yourself.
- Don't get too cocky in yourself, as it'll be leading to being seen as arrogant. But remember, as long as you aren't hurting anyone, you can never be too proud of who you really are!

Community Q&A

Question

My family always considered it unnatural for girls to dislike housework because they were girls. Is that not a form of gender bias?

Nico

Top Answerer

I would say it's more of a gender stereotype than a gender bias, because gender bias would be treating someone differently because of their gender. A gender stereotype would be the example you gave; that women should like housework.