How to Know if a Person Is Interested in You

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: November 5, 2022 References

If someone is flirting with you, does this mean they’re interested in you? It can be difficult to know when someone is interested in you, especially because you probably don’t want to feel rejected. Knowing if a person is interested means looking at their verbal and nonverbal hints as well as assessing their behavior. Recognize if they want to spend time with you, especially one-on-one.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

How to Respond to Nonverbal Hints

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Notice when you catch their eye. You can tell a lot about somebody by looking in their eyes. Somebody who looks into your eyes or makes eye contact for slightly longer time than normal may be indicating interest. Notice if you catch their eye more than once.^{[1]
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- When you lock eyes, they may smile or indicate they like being ‘caught.’
2
Look at their body language. Body language can reveal the secrets of how someone feels fairly easily because it’s hard to hide behind body language. If they are crossing their arms and distant from you, they may not be interested. However, if they are close to you, have their legs and arms uncrossed, and have their hips pointed toward you, this is more promising.^{[2]
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- If you wonder about flirting through body language, find out more about how women use body language for flirting and how men flirt through their body language.
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3
Notice if they lean or move toward you. If the person is leaning in and listening attentively when you speak, this is a good sign. A lean in your direction helps them listen and get close to you.^{[3]
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Research source} They might also walk closer to you or move their chair near you to be closer to you.
- Someone who sits back as you talk or as they talk may be less interested than someone who leans in and gets closer to you.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

How to Recognize Their Interested Behavior

1
See if they go out of their way to spend time with you. This person might “bump into you” in the halls between classes or make a point to speak to you each time they see you. If they go out of their way to say hello or to speak to you, this can indicate interest.^{[4]
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- Watch for the person making excuses to be near you and spend time with you. For example, they might be eager to offer you a ride home or to walk you to class.
2
See if they gently touch you. Someone who’s interested in you might touch your hand or arm as you speak or touch the small of your back as they move behind you. Touching is a way to get close to you and show interest.^{[5]
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- Eye contact while touching you is a good sign that they’re interested, especially if they smile.
EXPERT TIP

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If someone is interested in you, they might lean into you, listen attentively to your conversation, and respond thoroughly to your questions. If someone isn't interested in you, they might lean away from you, move when you try to touch them, not ask good questions in return to yours, or cross their arms.
3
Pay attention when they notice small changes. The person may ask if you just got a haircut, got new shoes, or tried something different with your makeup. Someone who is interested in you will pay more attention to small details. If they comment about something, take this as a good sign.
- For example, they might say, “That’s a nice shirt. Is it new?”
4
Notice if they are sitting or standing in a similar way as you are. Someone who’s interested in you might start mirroring your gestures, posture, or body position. Mirroring shows that they feel connected and likely attracted to you. Notice if the person started out sitting or standing in one way and later looks more similar to yourself.^{[6]
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- Change your body position and notice if theirs changes as well.
5
Recognize if they play hard to get. Some people choose to be indirect in showing that they’re interested and may send some mixed signals. For example, they might wait to text you back or not really appear to be interested in you. While manipulative, this is one way that some people show interest.^{[7]
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- It’s up to you, however, to respond in a way that is acceptable to you. If you like it when someone plays hard to get, play along. If you don’t like it, move on.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

How to Take Hints from Their Communication

1
Notice how quickly they respond to you. Someone who’s interested in you won’t wait a week to call you back or reply to your text. Typically, people will show interest by responding quickly when they consider you a priority. They will likely give an answer without hesitation when invited to spend time together.
- For example, if you invite the person to hang out, they will not hesitate or need time to think about it. They will likely be excited to say yes.
2
Pay attention when they give you compliments. Compliments are a way to indicate that they are paying attention to you and like something about you. While not all compliments are flirty or indicate interest, they can contribute to showing interest.
- Pay attention to romantic compliments such as, “I love your eyes. I could look into them all day.”
- Just because someone pays you a compliment doesn’t mean they’re interested in you. Look for other clues that indicate their interest.
3
Recognize when they offer help or assistance. Someone who is interested in you may offer to walk you home or to your car to provide protection. Or, they may offer to help you study or give you advice about a work problem. This type of attention shows they consider you a priority and want you to be safe and to succeed.
4
Notice if they gently tease you. If the person lightly teases you, this is a sign that they’re flirting and interested in you. They might bring up something you previously spoke up and gently tease you about it. Teasing isn’t supposed to be hurtful or make fun of you. It’s meant to be light, funny, and flirty.
- For example, if you say you’ll be late but you actually end up early, the person might tease you about your concept of time.
5
Ask them if they’re interested in you. Perhaps you can’t handle the suspense or want to know outright if the person is interested in you. It’s okay to ask the person questions that may indicate their interest. You can also ask outright if they’re interested.
- For example, ask, “Are you single?”
- If you want to be more forthcoming, say, “I’m interested in you and I hope you feel the same way.”
6
Respond if they ask you on a date. If someone is asking you out on a date, it’s likely they are interested in you. They are showing interest in getting to know you better and spending time with you in a romantic setting.^{[8]
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Research source} If you’re interested in them, say yes.
- Going a date can show each of you whether the interest is mutual and something worth pursuing further.
- If the person doesn’t specifically ask you out on a date but wants to spend time with you one-on-one, this is still promising.

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Question

There's a boy in my school who's shy but looks at me often and smiles at me a little. Is that a crush?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

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He may be interested in getting to know you better. The fact that he is noticing you and smiling may also be an invitation for you to talk to him. Another reason for the smile may be that he is embarrassed that you noticed him looking. In that case, he may be interested, but you’ll never know unless you strike up a conversation.
Question

I have known this guy for a long time and shows me all the sights he likes me but has never asked me out. What should I do?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Start a conversation as friends with him. Establish a friendship, get to know each other better, and see what happens.