How to Know if Your Thoughts Are Trustworthy

Last Updated: January 18, 2023

There could be several reasons why you don't know whether you should trust what you're thinking. For example, you may have been physically, psychologically, or emotionally abused in the past or perhaps you are struggling with a mental disorder. It may be that you simply aren't confident in your judgment because of past experiences. Regardless of your reasons, you don't have to question your thinking. You can develop ways to know if your thoughts are trustworthy. Try fact-checking, rebuilding your confidence, and relying on your support system.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Fact-Checking Your Thoughts

1
Look for evidence. Although this is something you probably already do, you might not realize that you're doing it. Take the time to deliberately look for proof to support or challenge what you're thinking. Pay attention to past experiences, what people are doing and saying, as well as other evidence that your thoughts are trustworthy.
- For example, if you think your presentation is going well, then it probably is. Your own gut feeling could be your evidence. However, you could also look around the room for evidence that people are paying attention and engaged in what you're talking about.
- As another example, if you think your friend is hiding something, you might look for evidence like them acting jumpy or trying to distract you. However, keep in mind that their behavior might not always mean what you think it means. Always investigate further as to the cause of such changes. Ask your friend in the most respectful way why he/she may be exhibiting such behaviors.
2
Ask questions. When you have a thought you're not sure about it, question it. Ask yourself if it makes sense, if it's likely, and if there's evidence to support the thought. This is a good way to assess whether your thoughts make sense and if there is evidence to support them.
- For example, if you think, “I'm going to pass this test”, ask yourself questions like: “How do I know I'm going to pass,” “Have I done things to make sure I pass,” and “What else can I do so that I pass?” However, try to avoid overthinking any situation because this may lead to anxiety.
- Or, for instance, if you think someone has a crush on you, you might ask yourself, “What makes me think so? Is it likely that they have a crush on me? Why wouldn't they have a crush on me?”
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3
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness requires you to pay attention and accept what you are feeling, sensing, and doing in the present. Being aware of your thoughts and feelings is a great way to start determining if your thoughts are trustworthy.^{[1]
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Research source} When you're aware of how you're thinking you can assess whether the thoughts are trustworthy. Being mindful can also help you recognize other signs your body and environment may be giving about the trustworthiness of your thoughts.
- Instead of multitasking, which spreads your thoughts across several things, do one thing at a time and focus completely on that one thing.
- To be mindful, means to be aware of all things, including your thoughts, but also to let these things pass. Because when you focus too hard on certain things you may forget that your sole purpose is to just live and experience.
- For example, if you're talking with a friend, you might turn the game off. You might notice how they're acting, how they smell, that you feel tense, and that you're thinking about asking them out.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Rebuilding Your Self-Confidence

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Recognize your strengths. One great way to re-establish trust on yourself is to become aware of your positive qualities, skills, and talents.^{[2]
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Research source} Recognizing the good things about yourself will increase your overall confidence and help you realize how much you know and how much you can trust about yourself.
- Make a list of all the good things about you. Include personality traits, things you can do, things you've learned, etc. For example, you might write: funny, friendly, good swimmer, and speak French. Remember, to focus on the qualities you truly love about yourself and not what you think others may love about you.
- View your strengths as areas of knowledge – where you can trust your thoughts. For example, if one of your skills is crocheting, you know you can trust your thinking regarding making a scarf.
2
Use positive self-talk. Negative thoughts about yourself can undermine your self-confidence if you don't stop them. They can cause you to doubt your abilities, your worthiness, and your thoughts. Using positive self-talk is one effective way to encourage yourself and remind yourself that you can trust your thoughts.
- Compliment yourself at least once a day. For example, you might start your morning by telling yourself, “Good morning, you amazing person! You look great today!”
- If you need to, then keep your list of strengths where you can see it so that when you need to use positive self-talk you have some ideas of what to say.
- For each negative thought you have, become aware of it first of all, then examine why you are having such thoughts and let the negative thought go. After that, try to identify three other positive thoughts that you could put in its place instead.
3
Start small. You can rebuild your confidence in yourself if you start trusting your thoughts on small matters.^{[3]
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Research source} Eventually you want to work your way to confidently making major decisions, but as you are rebuilding trust in yourself it's okay to start with smaller decisions. Once you achieve enough small successes, you'll feel confident trusting your thoughts on bigger things.
- For example, listen to yourself about whether you like the taste of sushi or the smell of lavender.
- Trust yourself to make decisions like what to wear, which route to take, or where to sit.
4
Record it when you're right. Whether it's a major judgment call or an everyday choice, make a note of it when your thoughts prove trustworthy. Although it may seem silly, over time you will see just how often you're right. Seeing this can help you increase your confidence in yourself and in your thoughts.
- Keep a journal or notebook with you where you can record it when your thoughts prove to be true.
- You can keep track by writing down a few words to describe the situation, noting the date and time, or just putting a tally mark.
- Refer to your journal frequently to remind yourself that you can trust your thoughts.
5
Manage your stress. Often people that don't trust their thoughts are also experiencing a high level of stress.^{[4]
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Research source} This stress can cause you to be less focused, more anxious, and to worry more – all of which can interfere with you thinking clearly and being able to trust your thoughts.
- In tense situations try taking a break to do some deep breathing. Slowly inhaling and exhaling can relieve your tension and clear your mind.
- Do things to relax and encourage you like participating in your hobbies or learning more about topics you're interested in.
- Try meditating or visualizing yourself relaxed and calm. For instance, if you have to make a major decision, picture yourself doing it calmly and with confidence.
6
Accept uncertainty. Nothing is certain in life and there's no way to be sure that every thought you have is accurate. There will always be the possibility that what you're thinking is wrong. You can take some pressure and stress off of yourself by accepting that most of your thoughts will be true, but it's a part of life that not all of them will be.
- Tell yourself, “No one knows everything. Sometimes my thoughts won't be trustworthy, but that doesn't mean I can't trust myself. It happens to everyone.”
- If you have a thought that proves to be false, don't beat yourself up. Remind yourself, “Everybody is wrong sometimes, and everybody is right sometimes.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Relying on Your Support Team

1
Seek therapy. Having people that you can trust and that support you will make it easier for you to judge the trustworthiness of your thoughts. Professionals like therapists and counselors are an important part of your support team because they can offer suggestions and strategies for telling if your thoughts are accurate. They can also help you address any underlying issues that may be causing you to question your thoughts and help you boost your self-confidence.^{[5]
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Research source}
- Attending therapy or seeing a counselor for even a short amount of time can help you trust yourself again.
- You can ask your physician, human resources representative, or school counselor for a referral. You might say, “I'd like to talk to someone about trusting myself again. Do you have any recommendations?”
- If you are already in therapy, talk to your therapist about the concerns you have about your thoughts. You could say something like, “Could we talk about my thoughts? I don't know if I can trust them.”
2
Spend time with people you trust. Your family and friends can be a great resource when you are trying to determine if your thoughts are trustworthy. They can help you fact-check and help you rebuild confidence in yourself. Take time to include people close to you in your efforts to know if you can trust your thoughts and accept their support when they offer it.
- Make a list of one or two people close to you that are supportive and honest with you. You might ask them, “I've been questioning my thinking lately. I'm going to overcome this, but do you think you could help me?”
- Let them know that some time you might need them to help you fact-check. You could say, “Sometimes I might need to ask you if something seems true. Please be honest with me.”
- Avoid people that make you question yourself or that make you feel bad about yourself. For instance, if your mom has a not-so-endearing tendency of questioning every decision everyone makes, you might not want to turn to her as much as you do someone else.
3
Join a support group. Being around people experiencing similar challenges can be a great relief and may help you cope with any underlying issues you might be having. It can also be an excellent way to learn strategies to determine how trustworthy your thoughts are.
- Talk to you physical or mental health provider about support groups in your area. You could say, “I'd like to join a support group. Do you know any in the area that would be appropriate for me?”
- You can also find a list of support groups at https://healthfinder.gov/FindServices/SearchContext.aspx?topic=833.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How do you think more positively?

Chad Herst, CPCC
Mindfulness Coach
Chad Herst is the Executive Coach at Herst Wellness, a San Francisco-based wellness center focused on Mind/Body Coaching. Chad is an accredited Co-Active Professional Coach (CPCC) and he has been working in the wellness space for over 19 years, with experience as a yoga teacher, acupuncturist, and herbalist. He received his BA from Columbia University and his MS in Traditional Chinese Medicine from the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine.

Chad Herst, CPCC

Mindfulness Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Practice talking to yourself like a caring friend or parent would. The more you practice, the more being kind to yourself will become second nature.
Question

How can I control my mind from unwanted thoughts?

Chad Herst, CPCC
Mindfulness Coach
Chad Herst is the Executive Coach at Herst Wellness, a San Francisco-based wellness center focused on Mind/Body Coaching. Chad is an accredited Co-Active Professional Coach (CPCC) and he has been working in the wellness space for over 19 years, with experience as a yoga teacher, acupuncturist, and herbalist. He received his BA from Columbia University and his MS in Traditional Chinese Medicine from the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine.

Chad Herst, CPCC

Mindfulness Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Meditation can help with stress, and it's also a great way to become more self-aware and in tune with your thoughts.
Question

How can I test if my thoughts are trustworthy?

Chad Herst, CPCC
Mindfulness Coach
Chad Herst is the Executive Coach at Herst Wellness, a San Francisco-based wellness center focused on Mind/Body Coaching. Chad is an accredited Co-Active Professional Coach (CPCC) and he has been working in the wellness space for over 19 years, with experience as a yoga teacher, acupuncturist, and herbalist. He received his BA from Columbia University and his MS in Traditional Chinese Medicine from the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine.

Chad Herst, CPCC

Mindfulness Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Try writing down your thoughts and intuitions and then checking the validity of them. Over time you can develop a better sense of what thoughts of yours are trustworthy and which ones aren't. For example, maybe your thoughts about relationships aren't very accurate, but your intuition is great when it comes to finance.

Warnings

If you are having thoughts about hurting yourself or someone else, you should seek help immediately. Talk to someone you trust or contact a crisis hotline like the National Youth Crisis Hotline at 1-800-442-4673, the Samaritans (UK) 116 123, the Crisis Textline by texting 'GO' to 741741, or a local crisis service.

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