How to Improve Your Relationships

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Last Updated: December 23, 2022 References

Happy relationships can make you happier, less stressed, and more fulfilled—all in all, they're a really big part of what makes your life so beautiful. So how can you keep improving connections with your favorite people (including your partner)? We're walking you through everything you need to know. From small gestures to communication, this is your complete guide to creating healthy relationships. Let's get started!

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Little Ways to Improve Your Relationship

1
Vocalize your appreciation for your partner. Partners often like to be complimented for achievements and feel underappreciated when things go unnoticed. Notice the positive things that your partner is doing and go out of your way to show your appreciation for them. You can also show your appreciation by remembering important events like anniversaries or birthdays.
- You can say something like, “Hey I noticed that you got a new hat. It looks really good on you.”
- Or you can say something like, “Whoa, you totally blew that art project out of the water. Great job!”
2
Do nice things for your partner. Making the person breakfast, helping them with homework, or purchasing the person a gift is a great way to show your appreciation. In this way, gift-giving can help strengthen your bonds. Think of what the person enjoys and try to do something nice for them.

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3
Spend more time with the person. If you hardly see each other or talk to each other, it can be difficult to maintain a relationship. Take extra time out of your day and dedicate it to the person that you want to improve relations with. Try to work around the other person’s schedule so that you can spend the time together.^{[1]
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- You can share a meal, watch a show, play a game, listen to music, or go shopping with them.
- Make sure to have a conversation while you spend time with them.
4
Excuse yourself and walk away if you’re getting angry or upset. If you notice that you often get mad over the same topic, you can prepare for your emotions and manage them better. Think about topics that make you feel angry or uncomfortable and avoid them when interacting with the person. Perform coping mechanisms like breathing deeply or excusing yourself from the situation when you know you’re going to get upset or mad.^{[2]
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5
Turn off distractions. Distractions like a cell phone, social media, or video games can create a rift in between you and another person. If you notice that you aren’t talking to one another because one or both of you are always distracted, you should turn off your cell phone or computer and talk to them. If they are the one that is always distracted, ask them if they can turn off their cell phone, computer, or game while you’re spending time together.^{[3]
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6
Seek therapy if you can’t get along. You can use therapy to fix or improve family relationships or relationships with your significant other. If you notice that you and the person are always arguing over the same kinds of things, and nothing has worked, you should consider seeking therapy with them. A certified counselor may be able to sort out your problems and can help solve long-term issues that keep reoccurring in the relationship.^{[4]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
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- Family therapy may be able to restore bonds between family members.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Improving Your Communication

1
Ask the person questions. Asking questions will get the other person to open up and will make them feel like you’re invested in them. If you can’t think of anything to talk about, ask the person questions about anything from family and friends to what they ate for lunch or if how their job is going.^{[5]
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- You can say something like, “So I remember last month you were telling me you wanted to quit your job. How do you feel about it now?”
- You can follow up statements with questions like “Oh yeah? How does that make you feel” or “Nice. Was that fun for you?”
2
Actively listen to the other person. Active listening entails understanding and being empathetic to what the other person has to say. Concentrate on what they are saying so that you can comprehend their true opinion. Do not focus on what you plan on saying next, instead, actually listen to what the person has to say.^{[6]
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- You can show that you're listening by nodding your head, mirroring the expressions on their face, and maintaining eye contact.^{[7]
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- One way to show that you’re listening is by paraphrasing something they said. An example would be, “So what you’re saying is that you think it’s disrespectful when I’m not looking at you while talking to you. I totally get that. I’m sorry, it’s a very bad habit.”
- Or you can say something like, “So what you mean is that Kendrick isn’t pulling his weight on the project? That’s not fair.”
3
Be understanding and compassionate. Try to understand where the other person is coming from even if you don’t agree with their opinion. Have empathy for how they feel and try to be understanding. If you disagree with something they did or said, talk to them and don’t yell or berate them.^{[8]
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- You can say something like, “I totally get why you’d be upset after talking to you, and I understand why you yelled.”
- If someone told you something that was deeply personal or difficult, you might say something like, "I know this must have been hard for you to say. I really appreciate that you felt as though you could trust me."

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Working on Romantic Relationships

1
Go to bed at the same time. If you don’t get to spend any alone time with your partner and you live together, try to go to bed at the same time. Even if your sleep schedules don’t coincide, you can lay down with each other until one of you falls asleep. This will foster a closer connection between you.^{[9]
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2
Plan time to be intimate. Couples who are intimate more often are usually happier. Intimacy can come in many forms, from cuddling on the couch to sexual relations. If you’re both very busy, schedule at least one time per week to be close to one another.^{[10]
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3
Keep things interesting. Falling into the same routine every week can make the relationship feel stale. Spontaneously do something romantic and plan days throughout the month for date nights.^{[11]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Working on Family Relationships

1
Encourage family members to share their feelings. Regardless of the age, a healthy family will encourage a healthy dialogue about their thoughts and feelings. Encourage open and honest dialogue about any issue so that you can work together to resolve them. Don’t make it a habit of lying or hiding things from your family members because it can hurt the relationship.^{[12]
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2
Take time to connect with your child if you’re the parent. Children need even more interaction and attention to keep them happy and keep the bond strong. Think of ways that you can interact with them on a higher level, like talking to them before they go to bed or reading a book together. You should also make an effort to go to things that they are participating in to support them.^{[13]
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3
Schedule times that the entire family gets together. Sitting down together can improve family bonds and gives people the chance to spend time with people they may not be able to normally. Things like barbecues, sitting down for dinner, or watching a game or show together are all great ways to get everyone in the same room.
4
Don’t pick favorites. Being unfair or showing preferential treatment to one family member over the other is an easy way for conflict to form. Avoid taking the side of one person too often and make sure to hear everyone out. Being supportive of all family members will help you build relationships with the different people in your family.

Expert Q&A
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Question

Can you rebuild a relationship if things are starting to fall apart?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Absolutely. You can always rebuild so long as both parties are willing to acknowledge past mistakes, be open, be vulnerable, and communicate honestly. It may be helpful to seek out a counselor to help you along the way here, but it can be done.
Question

What can I do if we're both going through a particular rough patch at work?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

You should be able to lean on one another in times of crisis. Everyone needs support from time to time and that's what the two of you should be able to do here. Listen, talk it out, and try to support one another with empathy and compassion.
Question

How do you deal with a struggling relationship?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Talk about what you are experiencing. If you are stressed or feeling neglected in the relationship, speak up about it in a respectful and open way. At some point, all relationships go through a difficult period. You can get to a better place.