How to Handle Drama in Middle School

Co-authored by Katie Styzek

Last Updated: February 7, 2023

Drama happens in middle school, just as anywhere else in life. If you're confronted by it, or find yourself in the thick of it, use the following suggestions to get yourself removed from drama and enjoying your school experience instead.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Staying out of drama in the first place

1
Steer clear. If you really want to avoid drama, stay away from it in the first place! Start by distancing yourself from people you know are gossipers or who tend to have drama following them everywhere. Don't push away any real friends, but try to change the subject when gossiping comes up. If you get the reputation of being a gossiper, people will start to gossip about you. It's a never ending cycle, really.
- Gossiping can be very hurtful to others, and it can ruin your friendships and relationships.
- Don't get engaged into drama via social media, either. It usually escalates the situation and makes it worse.
2
Try to stay out of trouble. We all know that one kid who went to the office for something minor, and as the story spread it became more and more complicated and their crime increased. If you don't want people whispering that you were in the principals office and making a huge story about that fist fight you had, don't go to the office in the first place!

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3
Don't do things people would find socially unacceptable. Don't stop being you, but there's a thin line between self confidence and arrogance. Here's an example: let's say you accidentally ran into someone in the hall and they dropped their stuff. No big deal right? By apologizing and helping them pick up their stuff, you're steering clear of gossipers who could quickly change the story. Let's say you didn't help them but continued to class. This story could quickly turn into: You book checked someone in the hall and ran off so they were late to class. By doing the right thing, you've stopped a nasty rumor about yourself.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Dealing with Drama

1
Assume that no matter how hard you tried, drama found you. This section is all about how to deal with it.
2
Stop rumors quickly. If there is a rumor going around about you, stop it in its tracks. Do not go up one table in the cafeteria and yell out: "The rumor about me is a lie!". Try a more subtle approach. If someone mentions it while talking to you, just laugh and explain what actually happened instead of punching them in the face like you really want to. They will explain to the next person that brings it up around them, and so on. Don't force it into the conversation, but don't just sit there and do nothing either. If you explain what happened to your friends, they will stick up for you.
3
Deal with friends who are not so friendly. What if your friends are the problem? Maybe they started something, or a rumor pushed you apart. Try to work it out first. If you two really can't come to agreement about something, distance yourself for a bit. This will give both of you time to cool down and think about what happened. When you see them at school, act friendly but try not to engage in a full conversation until something is worked out. This conversation could turn into accusations very quickly. Try talking with a teacher or parent, and, if you must, another friend. Make sure this friend will not increase the drama and tension between you and the other friend fighting.
- If your friend says something offensive to you, let them know that they are hurting your feelings, but make sure to do it politely, in an even, kind tone. Yelling, blaming and name calling will often make the situation worse.
- It is best to take a minute to gather your thoughts before responding. Take a deep breath or drinking some water.
4
Don't take people mocking your style personally. If someone makes fun of what you are wearing, don't take it personally, they are just trying to hurt your feelings, do not be rude just say "you are not wearing them, I am," then just walk off. Do not say it rudely, say it with confidence.
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Do not let others get to you. If someone calls you names like loser, dork, Muppet, brat, etc, just do not respond and act like you don't care.
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Smile and still act friendly to the people who bully you. It will show that you are confident and strong.
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Know who your real friends are. If they are your real friends and not fakers, they will really help with all the drama and be there for you.
8
Stand up for yourself. Tell whoever put you in a bad mood to just back off and leave you alone! Hopefully they eventually apologize
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Demand cessation. If the drama increases to the point of a fight, here's what to do. First, out your hands up with your palms open and out, the universal sign of stop. If a teacher or witness sees this, it looks better then you two with your fists raised at each other, and you look like the victim that you are. If punches start to get thrown, don't fight back. Try blocking with your arms that are raised in the air.

Warnings

Take care on buses. If you ride the bus, you know that most drama happens there. So really try to be calm and don't give people a reason to bully you. Think of driver safety too; the driver doesn't want screaming, yelling and fighting while trying to drive safely on the road. Get home without injury!

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If you get into fights or are being bullied, you should tell a trusted adult. Even if you feel alone or are scared.

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Don't be afraid to tell an adult!

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