Worried about how irresistible that guilty pleasure is? Maybe it's a heavenly slice of cake, an addictive video game, or a silly reality show. Whatever it is, we'll help you come to terms with what you like and teach you how to handle any shame you feel. Check out our practical guide to treat yourself to a guilt-free life that you're proud of.

This article is based on an interview with our licensed psychologist, Catherine Boswell, co-founder of Psynergy Psychological Associates. Check out the full interview here.

Things You Should Know

  • Focus on combating guilt instead of eliminating pleasures.
  • Use positive self-talk as a way to resist falling prey to shame.
  • Set rewards and practice delayed gratification to motivate yourself.
  • Prioritize your emotional and mental health by practicing self-care.
1

Accept that guilt is normal and you’re only human.

  1. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that everyone gets tempted. Instead of stewing in shame or regret because you feel like you're the "only one" that enjoys guilty pleasures, focus on how you're similar to everyone else. Like others, your guilt probably comes from lessons you learned in childhood.
    • For example, maybe your teacher said homework should always be your #1 priority, so you still feel bad about relaxing. To cut back on remorse, give yourself a practical pep talk like:[1]
      • “I’m not a bad person for liking guilty pleasures. I’m just human.”
      • “It’s really easy for everyone to get distracted or tempted.”
      • “No one is immune to wanting to de-stress or have fun!”
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2

Recognize what makes you reach for guilty pleasures.

3

Identify what “guilty pleasure” you crave.

  1. Pinpoint what you feel is “missing” so you know what satisfies you. After you've found out why and when you seek out a guilty pleasure, dig even deeper. Take a moment to self-reflect and carefully consider what you really want out of your life. This practice helps you discover what might actually fulfill you:[3]
    • “I want more praise, compliments, and appreciation.”
    • “I’d love to be on track and meet all of my goals.”
    • “Honestly, I just wish I had more friends and allies.”
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4

Reflect on why you feel guilty.

  1. Once you discover the root of your guilt, you can move past it. Think about your guilty pleasure again—this time, however, put language to why it makes you feel so poorly about yourself. Chances are, your guilt has roots back to your childhood, when someone made you feel guilty for something. For instance, your mother might’ve said that TV would “rot” your brain. Gain a greater understanding of your negative self-talk so you can reframe it with a kinder POV later:[4]
    • “I’m worried romance novels are cheesy and aren't the best books to reach for."
    • “Watching one episode after another is just going to set me back even more.”
    • “If I eat sweets when I feel bad, then I’ll start to feel insecure about my body.”
6

Celebrate pleasure rather than criticizing it.

  1. Praise joy and happiness so you aren’t ashamed of what you like. Once you've done the work to switch to positive self-talk, move toward seeing excitement, bliss, and rewarding experiences as an acceptable norm instead of an exception. After all, it's okay for life to be vibrant 24/7.[6]
    • Congratulate yourself for committing to self-care.
    • Use all five senses and savor meals or experiences.
    • Journal about certain pleasures, like a rom-com, that you adored.
    • When you over-indulge in your guilty pleasures, practice forgiveness. Forgive yourself for overdoing it, just like you'd forgive your best friend.
7

Express gratitude so everyday life feels pleasurable.

8

Tell people what you enjoy to feel guilt-free about fun.

  1. Share what makes you tick and you’ll normalize unwinding. Take away the stigma—or social shame—from guilty pleasures and model that it's totally human and normal to kick back or goof off in life. To make it easier for others to admit what they like, open up about what you usually find pretty irresistible:[8]
    • “I have to admit, I love fantasy novels with hunky knights! What about you?”
    • “I can’t resist reality TV, especially if it has tons of drama. Am I the only one?!”
    • “I’m a fiend for desserts! Does anyone else have a sweet tooth?”
9

Swap unhealthy guilty pleasures for nutritious treats.

  1. Nourish yourself with treats you’ll feel good about eating. In order to look out for your health, stock up on meals and snacks that you actually like. For instance, if you’ve got a serious sweet tooth, substitute candy for your favorite fruit. When you make that effort, it'll be super sustainable to eat well.[9] Plus, you can still chow down on indulgences during special celebrations—that'll actually help you enjoy rich foods in moderation and make them "guilt-free."[10]
    • Research some indulgences and you might be surprised! For example, chocolate enhances heart health, boosts brain function, and lowers stress.[11]
    • Make a chart or list of delicious alternatives for junk food. For instance, write that you can cook potatoes in an air fryer instead of buying potato chips.
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10

Reward yourself for productivity to resist procrastination.

  1. Find exciting incentives for getting all your projects done. In order to increase your productivity and fight both guilt and procrastination, delay gratification. Wait to partake in your fave activities, but definitely still make time for them once you've checked everything off your to-do list:[12]
    • “If I finish cleaning my whole house, then I’ll drink a glass of wine by the fire.”
    • “After I turn in all of these reports, I’ll stream that funny new reality show.”
    • “When I finish this workout, I’ll play a video game with my friends.”
11

Create a “fun” fund for good habits to break “bad” ones.

  1. Save up so you can treat yourself for keeping up healthy routines. Budget your money in order to make opportunities to have fun. When you're patient and visualize what you want in the future, you'll resist compulsive shopping or knee-jerk retail therapy.[13] You'll probably also feel a sense of pride for waiting to spoil yourself for productive habits:[14]
    • “Once I turn in this research paper, I’ll buy a new series of books!”
    • “After a month of working out, I’ll go to a swanky restaurant with my SO.”
    • “If I get over a ‘B’ for every exam, I’ll treat myself to an amazing spa day!”
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12

Remember to practice self-love to avoid self-sabotage.

  1. Practice unconditional self-acceptance and put guilt in the past. Once you've went through all the steps to build a positive attitude and form good habits, just let go and love yourself. At the end of the day, you're a remarkable person who deserves to live life to the fullest without a speck of shame.[15]
    • Put your physical, emotional, and mental health first—steer clear of shame because it won’t support any of these elements of self-care.
    • Embrace yourself for having human needs, desires, cravings, and pleasures. You have nothing to feel guilty about and deserve a rich life!

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    What causes feelings of guilt?
    Catherine Boswell, PhD
    Catherine Boswell, PhD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Dr. Catherine Boswell is a Licensed Psychologist and a Co-Founder of Psynergy Psychological Associates, a private therapy practice based in Houston, Texas. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Boswell specializes in treating individuals, groups, couples, and families struggling with trauma, relationships, grief, and chronic pain. She holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Houston. Dr. Bowell has taught courses to Master’s level students at the University of Houston. She is also an author, speaker, and coach.
    Catherine Boswell, PhD
    Licensed Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Typically, you learn to feel guilt in childhood. You may have been your family's scapegoat for when things went wrong, or perhaps someone made you feel guilty for certain behaviors. It's easy to internalize these messages, which makes you feel guilty for things that are totally okay. Focusing on what you're doing right and appreciating your strengths can help you overcome these feelings of guilt.
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About This Article

Catherine Boswell, PhD
Written by:
Licensed Psychologist
This article was written by Catherine Boswell, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano. Dr. Catherine Boswell is a Licensed Psychologist and a Co-Founder of Psynergy Psychological Associates, a private therapy practice based in Houston, Texas. With over 15 years of experience, Dr. Boswell specializes in treating individuals, groups, couples, and families struggling with trauma, relationships, grief, and chronic pain. She holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Houston. Dr. Bowell has taught courses to Master’s level students at the University of Houston. She is also an author, speaker, and coach. This article has been viewed 15,192 times.
17 votes - 89%
Co-authors: 5
Updated: February 24, 2023
Views: 15,192

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

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