This article was co-authored by Alicia Oglesby. Alicia Oglesby is a Professional School Counselor and the Director of School and College Counseling at Bishop McNamara High School outside of Washington DC. With over ten years of experience in counseling, Alicia specializes in academic advising, social-emotional skills, and career counseling. Alicia holds a BS in Psychology from Howard University and a Master’s in Clinical Counseling and Applied Psychology from Chestnut Hill College. She also studied Race and Mental Health at Virginia Tech. Alicia holds Professional School Counseling Certifications in both Washington DC and Pennsylvania. She has created a college counseling program in its entirety and developed five programs focused on application workshops, parent information workshops, essay writing collaborative, peer-reviewed application activities, and financial aid literacy events.
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Everyone knows that sinking feeling you get in your stomach when you’re in trouble. You know you’ve done something wrong and are about to get caught, but you want to avoid major trouble. When the teacher or principal admonishes you for your behavior, there are a few things you can do to avoid a tricky situation.
Steps
Acting Your Way Out of Trouble
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1Be confident when you’re being questioned. If you are lying about breaking a rule, don’t show that you’re nervous.
- Keep eye contact with the person you’re speaking to. It may be difficult, but they are more likely to believe you if you look them in the eyes while you’re telling your story.
- Stand up straight. People who are lying unconsciously lean back to get away from the person they’re having a conversation with.[1]
- Don’t stammer or say “um.” These are signs that you’re nervous and making up what you’re going to say. Use strong, clear speech.
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2Cry if you feel comfortable enough faking it.[2] The teacher or principal might take pity on you if you act upset.
- Pretend you’re crying because you can’t believe they would accuse you of bad behavior. If you pretend to cry because you’re sorry, then you will probably still face consequences for whatever you did wrong.
- If you get upset enough, you may even get an apology from the teacher or principal. You also just might be allowed to miss a little bit of class to compose yourself.
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3Be very polite and obedient.[3] Being respectful and doing as you’re told might convince your teacher or principal to let you off the hook for good behavior.
- Keep eye contact to show that you’re listening, and don’t speak out of turn. No matter what, never raise your voice in anger or cause any disruption. This will only make the problem worse.
- Thank the teacher or principal when you leave the office. This also shows respect, and may convince your them that you deserve another chance to mature to their standards.
Being Honest
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1Admit fault before you get caught. Be the first to admit what you did wrong, and you may get a lesser punishment.
- Going to an authority figure and telling them what you did wrong shows that you are mature enough to accept the consequences for your actions. This might cause them to take it a little easier on you.
- In some cases, you may get a lesser punishment like having to visit the counselor for a week, but this is better than being expelled.
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2Apologize for what you did.[4] Saying you’re sorry means that you know and regret what you did, and may soften up your teacher or principal. Approach them humbly and say that you apologize for whatever inconvenience you caused and that you didn't want to offend them (if that is the case). This will show your maturity.
- If you don’t apologize, they might take it to mean that you don’t regret what you did. If that’s the case, they may even give you a worse punishment to make you learn your lesson.
- Tell them that you won’t ever do it again. This shows that you have learned from your mistake.
- A well-written apology letter is a great way help get yourself off the hook. Good writing skills show a teacher how smart and mature you are, and they may be so impressed that they rethink punishing you.
- A written apology will also be a good idea if you are too shy to approach your teacher or principal directly.
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3Don’t admit to anything you didn’t do. Be truthful about what you did wrong, but don’t admit to anything more.
- If you genuinely don't understand why you got in trouble, it's time to have a talk with your instructor. Ask them what you did and how you can improve in the future.
- If a teacher tries to accuse you of something that you really aren’t guilty of, don’t be afraid to stand your ground. You should not be punished if you didn’t commit the crime.
- When you are being unfairly punished for something you did not do, then go to the principal. If the principal doesn’t believe you, then go to your parents. They are more likely to believe you and will speak up for you at school if they need to.
Making Amends
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1Promise to learn from your mistakes - and actually do it. Take some time to think about what you’ve done wrong, why you did it, and how your behavior has affected other people.[5]
- Be aware of why you behaved wrongly, and of how this behavior has impacted the people around you. If you focus on the root reasons of your behavior and how you are making other people feel with your actions, it will probably make you think before you act next time.
- You should understand that teachers and principals are responsible for your safety, and a lot of times discipline comes down to safety issues.
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2Offer to do some work around the school. If you’re in trouble, offering to work off your punishment will help keep you in the teacher’s good graces. Ask if you can clean up trash on the school grounds or straighten up your classroom at the end of the day.
- Admitting your mistake and offering to make up for it in a way that helps the school will look good to any teacher or principal.
- This also shows that you are mature and willing to accept the consequences of your actions. If teachers know how good you can be, it may even keep you out of trouble in the future.
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3Volunteer to mentor younger students. If you have a younger person looking up to you for cues on how to act at school, you are more likely to behave. This also shows teachers that you can be a responsible person.[6]
- Be a good example, and offer to mentor a younger student who is being disruptive at school. You can offer good advice to help the student, and seeing bad behavior from a different perspective will help you reevaluate your own actions.
Warnings
- These tips won't work for everyone in every situation. Sometimes, You just have to accept your punishment and move forward.⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201411/9-subtle-signs-someones-lying-you
- ↑ https://www.scoopify.org/how-to-make-yourself-cry/
- ↑ https://www.online-paralegal-programs.com/legal-rights/
- ↑ https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/8562/take-responsibility/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pura-vida/201105/the-forgiveness-protocol-how-apologize-when-you-have-hurt-or-harmed-another
- ↑ https://educationnorthwest.org/sites/default/files/building-effective-peer-mentoring-programs-intro-guide.pdf
About This Article
Getting in trouble at school is never fun, but with a little convincing you may be able to get out of it. When your teacher or principal questions you about what happened, tell your story confidently and maintain eye contact, since acting confidently will make you seem more believable. If you don’t think you’ll get away with it, try crying a little, which might make them have pity on you. Whatever route you choose, make sure to be polite and don’t interrupt, since this might make them more angry. Apologize for what you did and tell them it won’t ever happen again. To learn how to write an apology letter to get out of trouble, read on!
