How to Dream of Your Soulmate

Co-authored by Alex Dimitriu, MD and Eric McClure

Last Updated: April 19, 2022 References

Want to know more about the special someone you’re going to meet one day? Have you already met them and you just want to know more? Dreaming about your soulmate can be a great way to gain insight into what your future love life has to offer. In this article, we’ll show you everything you need to know to find them in your sleep.

1

Set your intentions before bed.

Your focus before bed will inform the content of your dreams. You can’t set intentions if your head or home is filled with clutter. Adjust your bedroom so that it’s an extension of yourself, and perform whatever rituals help you focus on the goal. Relax, meditate, or burn some sage. Then, write or say what you want to put your energy into the universe.^{[1]
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- You could say or write something like, “My soul is ready to meet you,” or, “I believe you’re out there. If you’d honor me in my dreams, I am here.”
- Keep in mind that you cannot control your dreams (even if you can heavily influence them). It may take a few weeks of dreaming to get to the point where you meet your soulmate in your sleep.

2

Visualize your soulmate’s characteristics.

Picturing what they look like will give you something to look for in your sleep. You don’t even necessarily know what they look like. Just imagine yourself stumbling upon them in whatever situation you’d like to imagine. If you want to know more about what they look like, try to ascribe what you think they look like. What kind of hair do they have? How tall are they? What do they smell like?^{[2]
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- You might picture something mundane, like stumbling into them while you’re in line at the bank, or hanging out at a quiet bar.
- You can also choose a more fantastical scenario if you prefer. Maybe you’re wandering through a castle when you meet them, or floating through the cosmos.

3

Let go of your expectations.

Putting excessive pressure on yourself can negatively impact your dreams. Don’t plan on having any particular experience in dreams. As you’re lying in bed, let your mind wander as you get sleepier and sleepier if that’s what starts to happen. If you wake up and don’t remember your dream, don’t get frustrated. Respect the process and allow whatever is going to occur to happen.^{[3]
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- If your soulmate is putting their energy into the universe for you to pick up on, it’s going to be difficult to find it if you stumble across it and it doesn’t match your expectations.

4

Be open to whatever you experience.

Your soulmate may not be what you expect, so be open-minded. Whether you actually meet your soulmate on a given night of dreaming or not, just try to enjoy the experience of seeking your soulmate. The more open-minded you are, the more you’ll appreciate what you find.^{[4]
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- Maybe this entire process leads you down a totally different path and you have a series of grand realizations about who you are, or what you want in life.
- It’s also possible that in pursuit of your soulmate, you develop a greater understanding of what a soulmate even means to you.
- Maybe there are multiple versions of “the one,” or maybe you aren’t even looking for love just yet.

5

Wake up with natural light.

Alarm clocks can interrupt your dreams or make you forget. It’s hard to remember a dream when you’re woken up abruptly by a loud noise. Your brain just doesn’t have enough time to process whatever you just experienced. If you’re having trouble remembering or describing your dreams, try waking slowly with natural night. Just leave a blind open when you go to bed and see if that helps.^{[5]
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- If you need to wake up at a specific time for work or school and you aren’t the type of person who wakes up quickly when the sun comes up, don’t risk this one.

6

Write down your dreams when you wake up.

Tracking your dreams makes them easier to remember. Tracking your dreams is the #1 way to improve your ability to remember your dreams. Keep a journal by your bed. When you wake up, don’t get up right away. Lie there for a minute, process, and then write about what happened.^{[6]
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- If you don’t remember a dream, that’s okay!^{[7]
  X
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  Alex Dimitriu, MD
  Sleep Medicine & Psychiatry Professional
  Expert Interview. 16 October 2019.} You’re going to remember more and more with each night you get in the habit of doing this.
- A lot of people also find their dreams to be more vivid and real when they record their dreams.

7

Identify reoccurring themes in your dreams.

Digging into the content will make it easier to find your soulmate. Dream logic doesn’t always make sense, and your soulmate’s spirit may be shining through in metaphors or symbols. See if you can find any reoccurring motifs, characters, or images. If you find anything that feels meaningful, it probably is!^{[8]
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- You might conclude that if you keep dreaming of a fancy dinner with a faceless friend that your soulmate is a decadent and classy person.
- If you keep meeting a strange figure who tells you about yourself, that may be your soulmate—insightful, intelligent, and observant.
- Your dreams may tell you more about what you want in a partner than they will about the actual person you’re destined to meet. Remember, be open minded!

8

Run a diffuser while you sleep.

Smells can influence your dreams, so make your room smell romantic. Ever start dreaming of breakfast only to wake up and smell the faint aroma of bacon cooking downstairs? Our dreams can be pushed in a certain direction by scents and sounds. If you’re looking for a soulmate, turn an essential oil diffuser on as you’re going to bed. Add a few drops of a scent you find romantic and seductive, and go to sleep.^{[9]
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- Many people find lavender, sandalwood, and vanilla to be appealing aromas. You can choose whichever scents seem the most romantic to you, though.
- Essential oil diffusers are fine, but don’t burn candles or incense while you sleep. You may accidentally start a fire.

9

Try sleeping on your stomach.

There’s some evidence that stomach sleepers have more romantic dreams. It sounds a little odd, but there appears to be a link between sleeping on your stomach and dreaming about sex, love, or romance. If you’re struggling to have dreams about your soulmate, flipping over on your stomach may stimulate your brain and body to dream in a different direction.^{[10]
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- Stomach sleeping can also supposedly trigger dreams of being imprisoned or restrained. If your dreams get scarier when you sleep on your stomach, it’s not worth it.

10

Give the wake back method a shot.

This is a scientifically-proven solution for having specific dreams. REM (rapid eye movement) sleep is the deepest part of sleep and it’s where dreams take place.^{[11]
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Alex Dimitriu, MD
Sleep Medicine & Psychiatry Professional
Expert Interview. 16 October 2019.} If you wake up during REM, sit up, and tell yourself you’re going to dream about your soulmate, you may go right back into dreaming as soon as you lie back down. Set an alarm to go off 5 hours after you sleep and sit up straight, think of your soulmate, and go back to bed.^{[12]
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- The wake back method can also be helpful if you want to improve your creativity during the day.^{[13]
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- Don’t do this at the expense of your sleep. You should still get at least 8 hours of sleep total!

11

Maintain good sleep hygiene.

Keeping your sleep schedule consistent is key to clear dreams. You may not remember your dreams (or have happy dreams) if you’re not sleeping well. Aim to go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. Get at least 8 hours of sleep, although more is ideal. Maintain a sleep environment that you find comfortable so that you aren’t disrupted mid-dream.^{[14]
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- If you wake up shivering, turn the thermostat up. If you sweat in your sleep, turn it down. Most people sleep best when it’s 60–67 °F (16–19 °C).

12

Learn to lucid dream.

This way, you’ll be able to ask questions and interact with them. Lucid dreaming is a type of dreaming where you know you’re asleep and can control things to a certain degree.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Alex Dimitriu, MD
Sleep Medicine & Psychiatry Professional
Expert Interview. 16 October 2019.} Keep recording your dreams by writing them down every morning, go to bed and wake up at the same time, and picture yourself controlling your dream before bed. Over time, you may learn how to lucid dream.^{[16]
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- There’s some evidence that playing interactive video games can increase the odds that you lucid dream!^{[17]
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- The wake back method will also improve the odds that you lucid dream.
- Not everyone can do this, but if you start lucid dreaming you can actively look for your soulmate or summon them to greet you!

Expert Q&A

Question

Why can I not remember my dreams?

Alex Dimitriu, MD
Sleep Medicine & Psychiatry Professional
Alex Dimitriu, MD is the Owner of Menlo Park Psychiatry and Sleep Medicine, a clinic based in the San Francisco Bay Area with expertise in psychiatry, sleep, and transformational therapy. Alex earned his Doctor of Medicine from Stony Brook University in 2005 and graduated from the Stanford University School of Medicine's Sleep Medicine Residency Program in 2010. Professionally, Alex has dual board certification in psychiatry and sleep medicine.

Alex Dimitriu, MD

Sleep Medicine & Psychiatry Professional

Expert Answer

We don't remember our dreams because we aren't designed to. Your dreams are your brain's way of doing some housecleaning throughout the night, whether that's rehearsing charged emotional situations, doing some problem solving, and/or testing hypotheses.
Question

Is lucid dreaming a skill?

Alex Dimitriu, MD
Sleep Medicine & Psychiatry Professional
Alex Dimitriu, MD is the Owner of Menlo Park Psychiatry and Sleep Medicine, a clinic based in the San Francisco Bay Area with expertise in psychiatry, sleep, and transformational therapy. Alex earned his Doctor of Medicine from Stony Brook University in 2005 and graduated from the Stanford University School of Medicine's Sleep Medicine Residency Program in 2010. Professionally, Alex has dual board certification in psychiatry and sleep medicine.

Alex Dimitriu, MD

Sleep Medicine & Psychiatry Professional

Expert Answer

Definitely! Lucid dreaming is all about being able to recognize that you're dreaming in the first place. People use all kinds of tricks to reach that state—for instance, you can't read print in a dream, so some people will try looking for print or text in their dream and see if it's legible.