How to Change Bad Habits

Co-authored by Annie Lin, MBA

Last Updated: February 24, 2023 References Approved

Habits often become so ingrained we don't even notice we're doing them. Whether your bad habit is a minor annoyance such as cracking your knuckles, or something more serious such as smoking, it takes conscious effort and smart planning to break the cycle. Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you can't break it on your own.

Steps

1
Write down details surrounding your habit. Keep a notebook around to log your habit. For at least a week, anytime you perform the bad habit or feel tempted to do it, write down a description of what you were doing and how you were feeling when it happened. This helps you find patterns to your behavior, and causes you to think about the habit consciously.^{[1]
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Research source}Consider these possible factors:
- Does the bad habit happen more often when you are stressed or nervous?
- Does it happen more often (or less often) at certain places or during certain activities?
2
Get rid of temptation. Try to avoid objects, places, and people that make you want to fall into your bad habit. Your habit notebook should help you identify these.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Annie Lin, MBA
Life & Career Coach
Expert Interview. 25 November 2019.} Because habits are often performed with barely any conscious thought, it's much easier to remove the stimulus than to stop the habit with pure force of concentration.^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
Go to source}
- If you're trying to avoid eating junk food, move any junk food in your home out of the kitchen and other snacking areas, to a more difficult-to-access location. When shopping for food, avoid walking through the aisles that contain tempting junk food, or follow a strict, healthy shopping list and don't bring any extra cash or a credit card.
- If you're trying to avoid checking your cell phone all the time, shut down the phone or put it in airplane mode. If that doesn't work, turn off the cell phone and put it in a different room when you're at home.
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3
Add something unpleasant to the habit. This gives you incentive to stop, and prevents you from picking up the habit unconsciously. When feasible, this can be very effective.-^{[4]
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- A classic example is the nail-biter that coats his nails in a nasty-tasting substance. Specialized products for this purpose are available at drugstores.^{[5]
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  Trustworthy Source
  American Academy of Dermatology
  Professional organization made of over 20,000 certified dermatologists
  Go to source}
- Recovering alcoholics sometimes take medication that causes unpleasant symptoms if alcohol is drunk.
- For habits that aren't easy to make unpleasant, put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against the skin to cause mild pain each time you catch yourself giving in to the habit.^{[6]
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4
Replace a bad habit with a good or neutral one. Picking up a new, more positive habit won't make your old one disappear, but a new ritual and source of pleasure can make the old one easier to break.^{[7]
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- Many people find a daily exercise routine or jog becomes similarly satisfying once they've turned it into a habit.
- Some bad habits have a "good habit" opposite that you can focus on improving, which some people find more rewarding and easier to keep up than breaking a bad one. For instance, to avoid unhealthy food, challenge yourself to cook a healthy dinner a certain number of times per week.
5
Stay vigilant during tempting scenarios. If you find yourself in a situation where it's easy to return to the habit, repeat "don't do it, don't do it" to yourself in your head.^{[8]
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Research source} If you know it will happen in advance, come up with a specific plan for exactly what you will do.^{[9]
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Research source}These conscious efforts can make it much easier to suppress unconscious habits that you would otherwise do without thinking.
- For example, if you're quitting smoking, plan on getting up and making yourself coffee or chatting to a coworker when your coworkers take a smoking break. If a friend starts pulling out cigarettes during a conversation, think to yourself "no thank you, no thank you, no thank you" in case she offers you one.
6
Take a mini-vacation. Breaking a habit can be much easier when you're put in an unfamiliar environment, possibly because your brain is no longer able to go on "autopilot."^{[10]
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Research source} Take a weekend trip somewhere and focus on setting yourself a new routine.
7
Reward yourself when you don't fall into your habit. Reward yourself for meeting your goals by taking a break for a fun activity. Associate success with positive feelings and experiences, not with disappointment that you didn't get your fix.
- You might need to try several rewards before you find one that works. Try setting an alarm for fifteen minutes from now each time you use one of these rewards. When the alarm goes off, ask yourself whether you still crave the bad habit. If so, try a different reward next time.^{[11]
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8
Meditate to help re-program your mind. When you find yourself in a situation where you are likely to fall into your bad habit, stop whatever you're doing, and meditate for a few minutes. When you just start out it may only be a useful distraction, but in the long term you may be able to use it to calm and satisfy yourself without relying on the habit.^{[12]
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9
Call in the help of friends and family. The people you see regularly, and people who love you are a wonderful resource for breaking habits – as long as they take your efforts seriously. Ask them to help you enforce the changes you are making to your lifestyle, and to call you out when you slip back into the habit.
- Some anti-addiction programs have the helper sign a contract explaining exactly what they are responsible for, including actions the helper may not feel comfortable doing otherwise, such as throwing away another person's cigarettes or alcohol.^{[13]
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10
Seek professional help. If your bad habit is having a serious effect on your life, get professional help. Organizations and 12-step programs exist for almost all forms of addiction. A therapist or doctor should be able to recommend one of these, or recommend someone who can provide one-on-one counseling.
- There are many types of programs, so don't give up if one of them doesn't work for you. Motivational interviewing and distress-tolerance treatment are two examples of professional treatments that are not easy to replicate on your own.^{[14]
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Habit Breaking Journal Entry Template

Sample Habit Breaking Journal Entry Template

Expert Q&A

Question

Why is it hard to change bad habits?

Annie Lin, MBA
Life & Career Coach
Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a life and career coaching service based in Manhattan. Her holistic approach, combining elements from both Eastern and Western wisdom traditions, has made her a highly sought-after personal coach. Annie’s work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine, and BBC World News. She holds an MBA degree from Oxford Brookes University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute which offers a comprehensive life coach certification program. Learn more: https://newyorklifecoaching.com

Annie Lin, MBA

Life & Career Coach

Expert Answer

Making changes, even positive ones, can make you uncomfortable so you're more likely to keep following bad habits. Try to make small changes at a time so it's not as difficult or overwhelming.
Question

How do I change a bad habit in a relationship?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

It might help to identify it, own it, and make a commitment to work on it. Ask your spouse to comment on your efforts and not the times you slip.