How to Be the Life of a High School Party

Co-authored by Lynda Jean

Last Updated: March 4, 2023 References

Parties can be a significant part of the high school experience, but knowing what to do at them can sometimes be tough. You don’t want to end up sitting along the wall and being ignored by everyone else. The best parties are ones where you get involved, meet people and end up having a lot of fun. To become the life of the party, you can take some basic steps like talking with lots of different people, getting the group involved in something fun, and making great conversations.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Arriving at the Party

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Meet up with someone before the party and go together. There are multiple benefits to going to a party with someone rather than on your own. It will give you the added confidence when you first walk in because you will know someone else is just getting there too. Plus, as you start up conversations and meet new people, you will have an extra voice to keep things going.
- Make plans ahead of time regarding whether you will stay together the whole time or if you plan to split off. Having a friend can be a great way to get started at the party, but you may not want to be stuck together the whole time. Plus you will avoid hurting each other’s feelings if you decide ahead of time that it’s okay to separate while you are there.
- You will also want to make sure of the plan on when you will leave and if you’ll go together or not. Keep in contact so you know if the other person is ready to go.
2
Take notice of who is at the party. If the party is more than a small group of close friends, you will likely find a wide range of people from different grades and social cliques. When you first get to the party, take a few minutes to really scan the room and see who is around. Finding someone you know can be a good place to start, rather than being stuck somewhere alone.^{[1]
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- Catch the eyes of a couple of different people when you first arrive. Smile and wave at them. Give them a gesture that says, “I’ll come talk to you soon.” Establishing a couple different people you want to talk to can make it easier than waiting around for people to come to you.
- Parties are also a great place to meet some new people or make connections with people you rarely see or talk to. Think of the person you have multiple classes with but you never get much of a chance to spend time with. Parties are the perfect place to have a first conversation that can lead to friendship down the road.
- It is also always good to find the host quickly, since they are most likely the reason you are there. Tell them thanks for the invite or mention what a great party it is. You can also ask them if they need help with anything.
- To be social at a party when you do not know anyone, do not sit down, get up, walk around and smile at people.
- If two people are talking, do not intervene. But if there are three people, they may be engaged in a more casual conversation.
- You can try to join them. When one of them turns towards you, make eye contact, smile, and ask them if you can join them.
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3
Find an outgoing person. You may know someone who has a reputation already for being the life of the party, so go find them and watch what they do. You can learn a lot from their actions and begin to apply those in your own way. It can also be helpful to start up a conversation with them or get involved in what they are doing. They can help you meet more people and get into the center of the party.^{[2]
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- If you don’t have much party experience, you can be honest with this person and ask them to help you get the most out of it. Ask them if they can introduce you to some people or maybe show you around the party. It’s okay to let people know you are new to the party scene.
- Once this person has shown you around a little and you get more comfortable, you can then use what they have given you and start to become the person who helps others get used to it. Seek out people who are on their own and pass on the favor of getting them into the mix of meeting people and mingling.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Making the Most of the Party

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Focus on the moment at hand. At large parties with a lot going on, it can get overwhelming and your natural reaction might be to space out. Trying to pay attention to everything means paying attention to nothing. Actively fight this tendency. Be in the moment you are in, and find a way to shut out all the other people besides the ones you are specifically with.^{[3]
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- If you go through the whole party trying to focus on everything that is going on, you won’t actually experience any of it directly. Allow yourself to forget about all the extra stuff that’s around you and enjoy the thing you are currently doing.
- Once you find someone and are hanging out with them, don’t look around the rest of the room to see what everyone else is doing. Pay attention to only what you are doing, at least for a while.
2
Put your phone away. It’s a good idea to have your phone, and you can even check it periodically, but don’t spend the whole night looking at the screen. You can watch your phone sitting at home alone, but you don’t always get to be out with people doing stuff. Rather than thinking of all the other stuff you could be doing, enjoy the party you are at.
- Plus, if the party is rowdy at all, there’s always the chance you could lose or break your phone and you don’t want to do that.
3
Help the host or hostess. With people all over the place and the host or hostess often busy keeping things going, offer to help them out by getting people food, refilling the punch bowl, or keeping tabs on the music situation.
- If there is an iPod or something playing, see if you can play DJ for a while and pick the jams for everyone to dance to.
4
Interact with more people by moving around. Bigger parties tend to span across multiple rooms and could even include the porch, patio, or the back yard. Making sure that you move throughout the various spaces of the party will increase the number of people that see you there. This gives you the opportunity to interact with as many people as possible rather than just those in one spot.^{[4]
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- If you have been in one place for a while, mention that you are going to check out another room or go outside. You can specifically mention someone that you want to go talk to, or you can say you are going for food or a drink. The people who you are talking with will be less likely to think you are just ditching them. They may even think that you are more important because you have other people you plan to see.
- It may feel more comfortable to stick with the location and group of people that you already secured, but being the life of the party means being seen by more people. Later on, the guests will most likely not remember the person who sat on the couch the whole time, but they will remember someone who they saw moving throughout the entire party the whole night.
5
Initiate a fun activity. High school parties can range from everyone kind of standing around trying to figure out what to do, to everyone being really drunk and acting crazy. You have to take stock of which one you are at, but starting something fun can be adapted to either one. You could lead in getting people dancing, get people to jump in the pool, start a game of truth or dare, or form an arm wrestling competition.^{[5]
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- People want to have fun at parties, and while that may involve just drinking and hanging out, a lot of people also want something active to do. If you start up a fun trend that everyone ends up getting really into, you’ll be looked at as someone who is fun to have around.
- This may seem a little risky and it may take a little extra courage, but the payoff of getting people to have more fun can really be worth it.
6
Put yourself out there and be part of the party. The most important thing to remember is that parties are meant to be a fun place to let off some steam and let yourself de-stress. So you don’t want to get so focused on being the life of the party that you end up not having any fun. Be yourself, but push yourself just a little farther than usual.^{[6]
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- If people are dancing, dance. If there is karaoke going down, hop up on stage. People will probably not remember the party guests who sat on the sofa the whole time, but they will remember those who were involved in the happenings.
- Don’t try to be someone that you aren’t, but take the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone. Say yes to things you normally wouldn’t (but still be responsible).

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Having Great Conversations

1
Start conversations. This one really depends on what kind of party you are at. If there is loud music and talking is barely an option, you may have to adapt. If it is quiet enough to talk, you can always join conversations that are going, but you should also try starting some with people who aren’t talking. Seek out people who aren’t talking to anyone and start a conversation with them.
- You can start with a simple greeting, but add something specific as well. Instead of saying, "What's up?" try saying, "Hey, how long have you been here?" Or, "Hey, what have you been doing since you got here?" Anything that gives the conversation a place to go besides both people saying hello.
2
Talk about something interesting. If lots of people are standing around talking, it’s likely that the conversations are pretty basic and may not be more than boring small talk. You can stand out at the party by being someone who keeps conversations interesting and by being the one everyone wants to talk to.^{[7]
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- Find some common ground and share your thoughts on the topic. Ask them if they are a movie buff, know any obscure facts, or have a talent that most people don't.
- If they don't readily have something, offer a story of your own like something unusual that happened on a family vacation. Interesting conversations will involve more than talking about school or just what is happening at the party. Use your imagination to think of topics.
3
Ask people good questions. Find ways to go beyond the small talk level conversations. Don’t be vague, like asking, “How’s it going?” Instead try starting up a conversation by asking something more specific. Some examples would be: “Did you have to lie to your parents to come here?” “Did you see_____(insert something crazy that’s happening at the party)?” “What were you going to do if you didn’t come here tonight?”
4
Listen to people’s answers. Being great at conversation means listening to what the other person says, not just waiting for your turn to take over and talking non-stop. If you get short answers at first, keep leading the person on and try to get more information out of them. Take their answers and build the conversation off of them rather than steering it in your own direction.
5
Take a chance. It may seem risky, but try starting a really deep or totally weird discussion to get people interested and involved. Examples would be asking if people think that dinosaurs still exist somewhere, or if they would ever be willing to colonize another planet. It feels risky to start up a crazy conversation, but the payoff could be having a lot fun talking with people about topics they never thought of.
- Ask them, "If we made some advancements in space travel and found a planet just like earth, would you be willing to go live there?"
- Or say something like, "You know, I've read some news stories fisherman who pull out these fish that no one can identify. Do you think there are still creatures living in the ocean that we don't even know about?" The possibilities for interesting conversations are endless, but you have to be willing to give it a shot.

Community Q&A

Question

Whenever I'm at a party, I always seem to stay at the edge of the fun. Is there any way to overcome this problem and throw myself out there, so that I stop being embarrassed and shy about dancing?

Community Answer

The best thing you can do is put yourself out there. It can be scary, but who is really paying so much attention to you to really even care? Just be yourself, and have fun.

Warnings

Pour your drinks yourself rather than accepting what someone hands you. It’s always best to be safe and someone could put something harmful into a drink before they give it to you.

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