How to Be a Good Hostess

Last Updated: October 21, 2021

In order to be a good hostess, you have to be warm and welcoming and to make your guests feel right at home. This means introducing them to each other, offering them food and drinks, and generally creating an environment for fun and merriment. As long as you prepare in advance and can have fun while also keeping an eye on the party, you'll be a stellar hostess when you throw your next shindig.

If you're looking for information on how to be a hostess in a restaurant, then click here.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making Your Preparations

1
Have plenty of food and drinks for everyone. If you’re hosting a party for adults, then the #1 rule is that you absolutely can’t run out of drinks. Of course, you can always have a sober guest make a trip to the liquor store, but if you really want to have a successful party, then you should make sure there is more than enough food and drinks for everyone. Make sure to have different types of alcohol and many snacking options so that there is something for each one of your guests.
- If you’re planning on serving dinner at your party, make this clear so your guests come with their appetites in tow. If you’re just planning on having snacks, then you should make this clear, too, so your guests know that they should eat in advance.
- It’s important to have enough to drink because your guests will be more likely to leave and see that things are winding down if you run out of alcohol. Always get at least 25% drinks than you think you’ll reasonably need; you can always have the rest later or send guests home with a bottle of wine.
- Try to have a more food than you think everyone will eat. Have a few extra less perishable items, such as chips, so you can save them if the guests don’t get to them.
2
Create a warm and welcoming space. As you clean your home and prepare for your party, you should make sure the environment is set up so that your guests can comfortably mingle, hang out, and feel relaxed. This means having plenty of seating space, coasters for people to place their drinks down on, and trying to arrange the furniture so the room is as open as possible so people don’t segregate themselves into little clusters.
- You should also create enough warm, soft lighting so that the guests can see each other and not feel sleepy, but you don’t need too many glaring bright lights or your guests may not feel so comfortable.
- Make sure you set your room to a reasonable temperature and that you ask your guests whether they are hot or cold throughout the night.
- If it’s fall, the holiday time, or another festive time, then you can leave little festive touches around your home for your guests.
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3
Leave out a few conversational pieces. If you’d like to play it safe, you can leave a few conversational pieces out around your home so your guests have something to talk about if the conversation gets stale. You can leave out a collection of your musical albums, a photo album, or some souvenirs you got on a recent trip. Just a few eye-catching objects will give your guests something to ask you about or to talk about.
- Creating a unique appetizer or making a mixed drink your guests have never had before will also give them something to talk about.
4
Make sure your guests will get along for the most part. Though you can’t ensure that everyone will get along, if you want to host a successful party, then you should try to invite guests who have similar temperaments or who share at least some of the same interests. Though it’s great to have completely different people together in the same room and to have them mingle and have fascinating conversations, you should make sure not to have too many “problem” people together in the same room or you may have some trouble on your hands.
- Plus, knowing that your guests will generally get along will make you feel less stressed out when the time of the party comes.
5
Give your guests all of the information they need in advance. If you want to be a successful hostess, then you should tell your guests when the party is, where the party is, and what they need to or don’t need to bring. You don’t want them showing up empty-handed to a potluck or bringing a ton of beer when you already have two mini-kegs. Let them know all of the particulars of your party at least a week in advance.
- If they don’t already have your phone number, make sure you give it to them so they can call you if they have questions or if they get lost.
- If you’re throwing a theme party or want the party to be elegant, make sure the guests have at least a week or two to prepare a suitable outfit.
6
Start preparing well in advance. You should start preparing your drinks and snacks at least an hour earlier than you think it’ll take for you to get everything done. Though you don’t want to leave that guacamole out an extra hour or two, you should prepare as many of the foods and drinks as you can well in advance so your guests don’t arrive when you’ve only started baking that pumpkin pie. Being ready when those first guests arrive can help you feel more in the zone when it comes to hosting a good party.
- That said, you can leave some easy tasks until last minute in the kitchen. These can be great for guests who are more shy who want to help you out.
- If you’re hosting a big party, don’t be ashamed to ask a friend for help. It can be more fun to get your home party-ready with a buddy.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Hosting a Successful Party

1
Welcome your guests. You should be as warm and welcoming as possible when your guests arrive. Smile at them, give them big hugs, ask how they are, and make them feel like you’re really excited and happy that they’re there. You should also tell them where to put their shoes, or tell them that it’s okay for them to leave them on, hang up their coats or tell them where the coat room is, and take any foods or drinks they’ve brought off their hands.
- Make each guest feel comfortable and welcome as soon as they walk through the door.
2
Orient them. If a lot of the guests at the party haven’t been to your home before, you should quickly let them know where the kitchen, bathroom, outdoor patio, and anything else they may be looking for are. This helps them feel at home and won’t lead them to ask too many questions later. If multiple guests show up at once, just make sure you tell all of them where everything is as soon as you can.
3
Offer your guests food and drinks. As soon as you’ve welcomed your guests and oriented them, you should make sure they have some food to eat or a drink in their hands. If you’re having an alcohol-friendly party, then making sure everyone has a drink can help people feel comfortable and can get that party started as quickly as possible. People may be shy about asking for food or a drink so make sure you offer them what they need as soon as you can.
- Open beers for people if they want beers, pour them wine if that’s what they want, or tell them about the liquor you have if that’s what they have a hankering for. Of course, if you don’t want things to get too rowdy early on, you can do away with the hard stuff or bring it out later in the evening.
- You should also check in advance to make sure your guests don’t have any allergies, and let your guests know which foods are peanut-free, gluten-free, vegetarian, and so on.
- Make sure to also have soda, juice, and other non-alcoholic drinks so non-drinkers don’t feel left out.
4
Introduce your guests to each other. Another important duty you have as a hostess is to make sure all of your guests meet each other and that they have something to talk about. If it’s a bigger party and not everyone knows each other, you should introduce your guests to each other and quickly explain their connection to you, while also bringing up something they might have in common.
- You can say something like, “Sue, this is Joey, a childhood friend of mine. Joey, this is Sue. She works at the school with me.”
- You can also add something about common ground they may share. Say something like, “Isn’t it funny, you’re both from Alaska!” or “You two must be the most loyal Lakers fans I’ve ever met.”
- You should also look around for guests who seem lonely or like they’re not really talking much. Introduce them to people you think they might like.
5
Circulate. In order to keep your party environment fun and friendly, you have to make sure to circulate and mingle with all of your guests. You don’t want some of your guests to feel neglected in favor of other guests, and you need to see how all of your guests are and what they’ve been up to so they feel wanted and welcome at your party. Make sure to mingle at least every 10-15 minutes, to bring new people into the conversation, or to leave to get a guest another drink or some more food when he needs it.
- You should try to have fun at your own party while also being attentive to the needs of your guests.
- If you feel like conversations are growing stale, you should try to bring a different group of people together or open up your conversation to a larger group.
6
Provide some entertainment, but don’t force it. You should have some entertainment around just in case your guests grow weary or just because you want to spice things up. Just remember that some people just come to parties to hang out and that you don’t want your guests to feel like you’re forcing them to play games or do activities they don’t want to do. Still, it’s good to be prepared with some entertainment, just in case. Here are some things you can try:
- Board games, such as Clue or Life
- Other games, such as Twister
- Video games
- A fun outdoor activity to play in your yard, such as cornhole, horseshoe, or bocce
7
Don’t leave your guests alone for too long. Though you may need to go to the kitchen to grab more drinks or prepare more food, or you may have something else to tend to, as a rule, you shouldn’t leave your guests for more than a few minutes at a time. Remember that you’re the center of the party and that your guests are depending on you to have a good time and to feel welcome and comfortable. It’s especially important to be there if a lot of your guests don’t know each other and need you to help people socialize.
- It’s okay to ask a close friend to help you out with something party-related, such as making more mixed drinks or cleaning up a mess, that will help you minimize time spent away from your guests.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Wrapping Up

1
Don’t clean up while your guests are still there. If you want to be a good hostess, then you should avoid cleaning up while the guests are there at all costs. Though you can clean up spills or a few messes as they occur, if you’re in the kitchen washing glasses and food bowls out in the middle of the party, then your guests will see this as a sign that they are welcome to leave. Though you may hate to see a mess, remember that having a fun party is more important than having everything clean by the time the last guest leaves.
- Even if there are only a few guests left, cleaning up sends the message that you want them to leave. If you really are ready for the party to end, it’s better to be honest about it than hoping they get the message.
- You can also arrange to have a friend or two stay late to help you clean up in advance. This will keep you from worrying about having a huge mess on your hands at the end of the party.
2
Stay calm if someone makes a mess. If someone spills wine on your carpet, tips over that bowl of nachos, or accidentally knocks over a painting, try not to act too upset or to make your guests feel bad about what happened. After all, you’re the one who decided to throw a party, and big messes come with the territory. If you get visibly upset or stressed out, then your guest will feel terrible and people will think you’re too uptight to throw a fun party.
- Just say something like, “Don’t worry about it at all. This kind of thing always happens at parties, and it’s no big deal.”
- If you want to avoid damaging anything that really means a lot to you, then you can move out meaningful keepsakes, vases, or souvenirs before the party starts.
3
Make your guests feel welcome until the end of the night. You should be warm and welcoming toward your guests for the duration of the party. If you’ve mentioned an end time and that time has not come yet, then you’ll have to do your best to continue being a good hostess and making other people welcome in your home. You don’t want guests to suddenly feel like they’re being a burden to you or that you just want them to go home already.
- Remember that you’re the one who decided to throw a fun party, and that now you have to follow through.
4
Consider leaving your guests with parting gifts. As your party wraps up, you can give your guests something to leave with, whether it’s a special holiday favor, some cookies you baked in advance, or even leftover food or drinks. This can help them feel like they were a part of the party and that they participated in a truly special occasion. Though it’s not necessary to make a party favor, just giving the guests something small to remember the party by can make them feel like the night was even more of a success.
- Having your guests leave with extra food or drinks will also keep your home from being full of too much stuff you won’t use.
5
Thank your guests for coming. It’s important to let your guests know how much it meant to you that they came to your party as they get ready to leave. Thank them for taking the time to hang out, for bringing anything that they brought, and for just being awesome, fun guests at your party. This will make them feel like you really care and will complete your duties as an excellent hostess.
- You can also mention the next time you’ll hang out with your guests, so you will have more parties to look forward to on the horizon—though you won’t have to always be the one hosting!

Community Q&A

Question

How do I politely let guests know when it's time to leave?

Community Answer

Tell them it's getting late and you are a bit tired as a hint. If you have kids, you can say you have to put them to bed. Also, if you have something early the next day, tell them that and they will hopefully take the hint.
Question

For guests, can you take their purse as soon as they arrive?

Community Answer

Yes, you can offer to take their purse as soon as they arrive. They don't have to give it to you, it’s just a courtesy when a guest arrives. Keep in a secure place if you do take their purses.

Warnings

If there is alcohol being served, make sure there are designated drivers to ensure everyone has a safe ride home. Don't sway these designated drivers into drinking either.

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