How to Be a Classy Lady

Co-authored by Tami Claytor

Last Updated: March 20, 2023 Approved

Appearance

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Behaviors

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Personality

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Video

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Q&A

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Tips

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Warnings

Being "a lady" is about showing that you have class, manners, and good breeding. Being a classy lady doesn't mean that you should be snobby or stuck up, but that you should have dignity, consideration, and moderation in your daily actions. If you want to know how to be a classy lady, just follow these steps.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Appearance

1
Improve your posture. Having good posture is an important part of being classy. Make sure to keep your back straight, whether you're sitting down or standing up, and to avoid slouching at all costs. Slouching is a sign of laziness and bad manners, so make sure you keep your spine straight and your head up as much as you can. When sitting, don't cross one leg on the other. Instead, cross them at the feet and not behind the chair. ^{[1]
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- Try doing this when you're by yourself, too, so you get used to doing it in front of others.
2
Maintain good hygiene. This means showering every day, and always wearing clean clothes, without stains. If you're doing something where you'll get dirty, change right after. If you're in a situation where you'll get sweaty (e.g. a dance), bring an extra shirt just in case.

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3
Be well-groomed. Brush your hair several times a day, if need be, and be prepared to put your hair up again if bits are falling out. Don't brush your hair in public, though, because it could be seen as undignified; wait until you're alone in the bathroom to do it.^{[2]
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4
Wear classy makeup (optional). If makeup is your thing, then you should apply it appropriately. For day-wear, natural-looking makeup is the best. Little or no makeup is better than smudged makeup. Remember that too strong or poorly applied makeup has a tendency to look cheap.
5
Dress elegantly and modestly. The key word here is to dress with dignity.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 20 May 2021.} This does not have to cost very much. Keep your clothes in good repair. Anything ripped, or revealing could potentially be seen as inappropriate although this depends on the event or the look you are going for. It is more important that the clothes fit you well, are wrinkle-free, appropriate for the occasion, and cover all the essential bits.^{[4]
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- This means not wearing anything too short (short skirts or shorts), too translucent, or anything that exposes your belly.
- If you really wish to wear something a little revealing (deep neck, bare shoulders, or a high cut on the skirt), reveal one thing only. For example, an evening top with a low neck should be accompanied with a long skirt/trousers and have proper sleeves that cover the shoulders.
- Remember that, when in doubt, it's better to be a little bit overdressed than a little bit underdressed. If you're in doubt about what to wear to an occasion, it's better to look a little nicer than the other guests than to look like you didn't put as much time into your looks as the others.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Behaviors

1
Always use refined language. Don't swear or use crude expressions.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach
Expert Interview. 20 May 2021.} Profanity is one of the least lady-like traits.
- If you feel that your conversation becomes very dull without the use of profanity, remember that this is just temporary. As you substitute in non-profane expressions (of which there is a virtually limitless supply), you will find your language becoming more specific, more expressive, and more interesting.
2
Be an articulate speaker. If you want to sound classy, then you have to speak clearly, avoid mumbling or talking too loudly, and be grammatically correct. A classy lady speaks with confidence and talks clearly enough for others to understand her. Avoid saying "um," or "like" every two seconds, because that will make you look unrefined.
- For example, say "Hi Jade, did you finish your homework for Science?" instead of saying "Sup Bro, did yo' finish the homework cuz I didn't!", the latter being grammatically incorrect.
- Read regularly to improve your vocabulary and range of expression.
3
Be considerate of others. This is the key to being classy, and without this, you will easily be mistaken for a snob. Be particularly attentive to the needs of the elderly and remember that nobody is beneath your notice. Always be polite. Classy ladies do not say anything hurtful or offensive to other people.^{[6]
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- If you have to confront someone or put them in their place, speak the truth as you see it, but in moderate language and without recourse to shouting. It is important to find the right time and place for such confrontations.
- If you want to be a classy lady, then you should treat waiters, strangers, friends of friends, or neighbors with the same level of respect you would give to your close friends.
4
Make people comfortable. Classy ladies are social and at ease with others. The key to doing this lies in making the people you meet feel at ease and accepted. If this is not easy for you, work on improving your social skills, and on being charismatic.
- Improving your conversational skills is a great way of putting people at ease, and making an impression as a well-bred and well-informed lady.
5
Perfect your etiquette. A good start is to always be polite and to say thank you once too often rather than too little. A firm grasp on etiquette is also helpful if you get nervous in social situations, because you'll always know how you're supposed to act.
- Learn dinner etiquette, party etiquette, workplace etiquette, and dating etiquette to become more ladylike.
- Remember that it is really poor etiquette to comment on or make a fuss about other people's lack of etiquette or manners. Unless the situation really warrants it (their behavior may cause harm to themselves or others, or is on the way far side of moral and acceptable behaviour), graciously overlook their gaffes and shortcomings.
- Try to keep your hands out of your pockets while chatting with new people. Also, put lotion on your hands after you wash them so they won't be dry or rough.^{[7]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  Expert Interview. 20 May 2021.}
6
Avoid gossiping about others. Malicious gossip or speaking badly of people behind their back is not very lady-like. Though you may be angry at someone or feel wronged, gossiping about it to a third party will not solve your problems. If you want to be a classy lady, then you have to restrain yourself and avoid saying anything negative about other people unless you want to cause trouble for yourself.^{[8]
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- Keep your Facebook posts classy, too. Stick to the positive instead of ranting about "some people" who have done you wrong.
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Stand up for yourself with dignity. Being classy and polite does not in any way mean being a pushover or voicing opinions that are not your own. If you deem that your opinions may be too forceful or may be hurtful to those present, do not lie, but change the topic to something else. If someone asks an impertinent question, do not feel obliged to answer - make a joke, or endeavor to turn the question around.
- When you do stand up for yourself, state your case without resorting to name-calling or getting overly emotional.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Personality

1
Be well-read. Read novels to find role-models for etiquette and good manners. Jane Austen is exceptional in her shrewd portrayal of good and bad manners and morals, and a must-read for anyone wishing to be a classy lady. Reading classic novels also has the benefit or making you a well-informed lady, and there is nothing classy about ignorance.
- Being well-read will also make you able to make more sophisticated conversation.
2
Find classy friends. If you're really determined to be classy, then you have to seek out classy company. If your friends are bringing down your level of classiness or not supporting your new mindset, then you may want to seek out other people who help you become your true classy lady self. These people should be confident, self-assured, and maybe a little bit older and more mature so you can learn from them.
- Your friends should lift you up, not bring you down, so you should hang out with people who make you want to be better than you actually are.
3
Be a conscientious citizen. Part of being classy means being a good, conscientious citizen. What the heck does this mean? A number of things. Don't leave your shopping cart hanging out in the parking lot after you've put your groceries in your trunk; return it to the cart aisle. Let pedestrians cross in front of you when you're driving. Hold the door for the elderly, even if you're in a rush.
- If you've dropped something in the supermarket, clean it up or tell an employee what happened. Don't just walk away from your mess.
4
Drop the habits of an unclassy lady. If you're really committed to being classy, then you have to get rid of a few things that may be making you look less classy than you really are.^{[9]
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Research source} Here are some good things to avoid:
- Loudly smacking your gum
- Loudly chewing your food
- Burping in public
- Getting too drunk in public
- Giving people the finger
- Cursing
- Rolling your eyes
- Farting in public
- Picking your nose
- Kissing in public
5
Accept responsibility for your own actions. Being able to own what you've done in your life is the height of class. It's not classy to play the victim, blame all your problems on someone else, or to say, "I would have been able to do thing X if only Y hadn't..." Stop whining or making excuses and understand that life is what you make of it and that you have the power to be as classy as you want and to have a life as good as you want it to be.
- It's not classy to complain about all of the things you don't have. It's classy to admit that you have a lot of work to do to become the person you really want to be.

Community Q&A

Question

What does it mean when to stand up for yourself with dignity?

Community Answer

It means that you say what you stand for (believe in) or defend yourself in a calm and well mannered way. That means without shouting or using profanities (no cursing). This way, you not only state your case but also gain respect.
Question

Can I be a classy lady if I have short hair?

Community Answer

Yes, short hair can be classy if it's kept neat.
Question

Does your financial status affect whether or not you're classy?

Community Answer

Absolutely not. We can be well-mannered and polite without any cost. It all depends on how we interact with other people.

Warnings

Don't be a snob or act like younger people, or people in the service industries, are inferior. You should always be nice and friendly to everyone.

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