This article was co-authored by Evanne Torrecillas. Evanne Torrecillas is a School Counselor with over four years of experience in education. She specializes in working as a mental health advocate with middle school students and their caretakers. Evanne holds a BA in Political Science from The University of California, Berkeley and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in School Counseling from California State University, Sacramento.
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You may think that being popular in the fifth grade is next to impossible. So fifth grade is the perfect time to work on your popularity, because you'll be heading off to middle school before you know it. You can use the fifth grade to revamp your image, become more social, and to get more involved in your school and your community. True popularity doesn't mean being a "Mean Girl" who is rude to nearly everyone who crosses her path. It means being well-liked, well-respected, and generally having a great time. So how do you get there? See Step 1 to get started.
Steps
Getting Noticed
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1Let everyone see you having a great time. Don't be in other peoples' shadows. If you want to get noticed, then you can't be known as the wallflower who hangs back at school dances or the girl who says nothing in class. You have to be known for your positive energy, your laughter, and your optimistic nature. You should be enjoying yourself, whether you're at the playground with your friends or learning about American history in class. You don't have to fake it, but you should work on being the kind of person who is able to find something to be happy about in almost any environment.
- Okay, so you probably won't be cracking up in the middle of a science test. However, you should try to be as upbeat as you can, and to make other people want to be around you because of your positive energy. If you tend to be negative or whiny, people will be less inclined to hang out with you.
- This doesn't mean that you should be fake or that you should pretend you're happy when you're really not. It does mean that you should work to think positively by pushing out those negative feelings, and to project your best self to the world. Everyone has bad days, and you don't have to force yourself to be chipper if you're feeling sad, but you should try to have more good days than bad.
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2Stand out — in a good way. You probably won't be made more popular if you're known as the girl who spilled soda all over herself — though hey, that happens. But if you're known for always having ridiculously cute shoes, having a unique laugh, making loom bracelets at recess, or being able to talk to almost anybody, then people will notice you more often. You don't have to dye your hair pink or wear fake tattoos to get noticed; whatever you do has to be more subtle and less attention-calling than that. It's up to you to decide what you want your trademark to be.
- It can be that people always see you walking your cute dog on the weekends. Really, it can be anything positive that makes you stand out more.
- Start something new. In a time when not many kids are daring to take a risk, starting a club of your own can help you to stand out, to be someone who is different and willing to try new things. This will definitely get you noticed and is a great way to get something going that shows off your own passions and skills.
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3Be great at something. If you're known for having a talent or a skill, such as having a great singing voice, being the best kickball player in your grade, or being really good at Spanish, then more people will know who you are and will respect you for it. You don't have to show off or to try to be the best at every little thing. In fact, it's far better if you're really, really good at one thing so that it makes you stand out. Pick something you care about and try to master it; soon, people will notice you for it.
- Also, being really good at something can help you build up your confidence, because you'll feel like you have more to offer. It's a win-win situation.
- If you work on mastering something that is a group effort, such as playing soccer or being in the school play, then this will also be a great way for you to get to know more people and to become more popular that way.
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4Build up your confidence. Another way to get noticed is to build up your self-confidence. Though it's not always easy to feel confident about yourself, especially when you're in the fifth grade and feel a little bit uncertain about everything, but you can make an effort to like and be proud of the person you are and the person you're becoming. You can do this by hanging out with people who make you feel good, trying to excel in school and getting help if you need it, and by talking to people about the things you love. If your friends are being bullied, stand up to the bully. If you have confidence, people will notice it — and you — from a mile away.
- If you're feeling insecure, it's perfectly okay. Talk to a friend about it and think about ways that you can improve yourself, from getting better at talking to new people, to succeeding in school. Making an effort is the first step.
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5Have confident body language. You may not always feel confident, but looking confident can be half the battle. If you want people to notice you for being confident, then you have to make sure that your body reflects this. Your body language can do a lot of work for you, whether you're just walking down the halls or hanging out with friends. Plus, if your body language is more confident, it will trick you into feeling more confident, and that never hurt anybody. Here are some tricks to try if you want to have more confident body language:
- Make eye contact when you talk to people
- Stand tall instead of slouching
- Have good posture, even when you're sitting
- Don't cross your arms over your chest
- Look straight ahead when you're walking, instead of down at the ground
- Turn toward people when you talk to them, instead of away
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6Maintain good hygiene. You don't have to look like a hair model to take good care of yourself. However, it's important to take care of your looks so that other people notice that you're treating yourself with respect. If you don't care at all how you look and leave the house looking sloppy, people will think you don't value yourself very much. This isn't about looking fake or like a celebrity — it's just about feeling like you're worth it enough to care for your looks. Here's what you should do:
- Wash your hair every day or every other day, depending on your hair type
- Brush your teeth every morning
- Shower daily
- Brush your hair before school
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7Wear clothes that make you feel good. You don't need to keep up with the latest trends or to wear what all the cool kids are wearing to be popular. In fact, if you try to do that and end up wearing something that isn't you, then it won't look right. You can shop at trendy stores like Hollister, American Eagle, Justice, Delia's, or Forever 21 if that's what you like, fashion-wise, but only if it feels genuine to you. The more important thing is that your clothes are clean, fit well, and make you feel good.
- You can also get some matching accessories, such as necklaces or hats, to go with your look. But you don't have to overdo it.
Being Social
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1Smile at people. You may think that smiling just makes you look dopey or desperate, but this is far from the truth. Everyone loves a person who smiles at them, and smiling can make you feel better about yourself and it can make other people feel better about themselves as well. Make a habit of smiling at people when you pass them in the halls, at the bus stop, or even in class if you lock eyes. Smiling at people can help them put their guard down, and it will make you look more approachable so more people will want to talk to you.
- You don't have to be maniacal about it. Don't seek out people to smile at, but do smile when you look at each other.
- Smiling a lot will also give you a reputation for being friendly, and people will be more likely to come to you with questions or to ask you to play.
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2Be able to laugh at yourself. If you slip and get your clothes dirty at school or do something that is embarrassing, just say "oops", and laugh about it and have fun with your friends instead of making a big deal about it. If you accidentally make an embarrassing comment in class or tell a joke that makes no sense, it will only seem like a big deal if you make it that way. If you're able to laugh, brush things off, and show that you don't take yourself too seriously, people will respect you more and will be more excited about hanging out with you.
- Nobody wants to hang out with a person who is so serious that they are constantly afraid of offending them. If you can laugh at yourself, people will be much more excited to be in your orbit because they won't feel like they have to watch what they say.
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3Be friendly to everybody. Don't just be nice to the "cool" kids and ignore the rest. Make a habit of being nice and friendly to everybody, unless that person gives you a reason not to be. Don't listen to what other people say and decide for yourself whether each person is really nice deep down instead of assuming that person is "weird" because of what someone says. You should appreciate every person for who he is, smile, ask how his or her day was, and know that you have something to learn from absolutely everybody. Having a reputation for being nice and friendly can only make you more popular.
- The only time you shouldn't be friendly is if someone is treating you poorly. You don't want to be nice to the point where people are taking advantage of you.
- Plus, think of it this way: you're only in fifth grade. Contrary to popular belief, the crowd of "popular kids" can change from elementary school to middle school to high school. If you're nice to everybody, then it's guaranteed that you're not alienating someone who will become popular later.
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4Keep things positive. Though it's impossible to never, ever complain, you should work on being a source of positivity instead of negative energy. You should talk about the things you love, compliment people, discuss fun things that are just around the corner, such as summer vacation or a movie you really wanted to see, or just make a habit of keeping things upbeat when you're talking to people. You don't want people to think of you as the person who is always negative or whining about nothing, or they'll be less likely to hang out with you.
- If you're known for being positive, then people will be more likely to want to spend time with you and to approach you. If people think that all you'll do when they talk to you is complain, they may steer clear of you.
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5Don't be fake. Unfortunately, people can get fake in the fifth grade, if they are out to get something. They may smile at people they don't like, gossip too much, or just say things that they don't really believe in just to get attention. While this kind of behavior can boost your popularity in the short run, in the long run, you should try to avoid this kind of behavior and really work on being yourself. Let people know who you really are and don't be dishonest about your interests. If you're fake, people will be on to you pretty soon.
- Though you may think that truly popular people backstab and gossip about each other all the time, truly popular people are so confident in themselves that they don't need to talk smack about people. Make sure that you don't fall into temptation and that you stay loyal to your friends. If people start gossiping around you, try to kindly change the subject or remove yourself from the conversation.
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6Be open to meeting new people. If you really want to be social, then you can't just be social around the ten people you already know. That won't get you anywhere. Instead, you should be open to talking to completely new people, whether it's someone in another class or even another grade, or a new student in your class. If you're really comfortable with yourself, then you should have no problem talking to new people, introducing yourself, and seeing if you click. This is a key trait of truly popular people: they aren't afraid to put themselves out there a bit.
- You don't have to be incredibly outgoing to be popular. Unfortunately, people who are shy get a bad reputation for being rude or standoffish. If you're too shy to strike up a conversation with a new person, you should still try to smile and be friendly when the person approaches you.
- You shouldn't be closed off or think that you should avoid certain people because of their social status or reputation. Any person should be worth talking to as long as that person is nice and caring.
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7Take an interest in other people. If you really want to be popular, then you have to show people that you care about who they are, not about talking about yourself all the time. You can still open up to people while taking an interest in what they care about, what their lives are like, and what plans they have coming up. When you hang out with people, make sure they are doing at least half of the talking, and that you don't dominate the conversation. Ask them questions about their classes, their pets, their siblings, the sports they like to play, or anything else they like to talk about. You can show that you're genuinely interested in them, instead of just bragging about yourself.
- Though opening up to people is an important way to be social, make sure that the person has a chance to open up, too.
- You don't have to ask too many questions at once. You don't want the people to feel like they are being interrogated. Just ask enough questions to show that you really do care.
Getting Involved
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1Get involved at your school. There may not be as many ways to get involved at your school in the fifth grade as there will be in middle or high school, but you can still look for ways to get involved. You can join a foreign language club, pet lover's club, or even the student council. A lot of people like to run for school president or other student council positions to get known, and you can try that if it feels right for you. You can also help out your teachers after school, or find other ways to make your presence known in your school.
- The more activities you get involved in, the more people will get to know who you are, and the more opportunities you'll have to meet people.
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2Get involved in your community. Another way that you can get involved is to help out in your community. Though there may not be a ton of stuff you can do at your age, you can help your neighbors keep their lawns clean, walk dogs, help out at a local park or community, or help out a bake sale with your parents. If you go to church or another religious location, you may find a way to get involved in your community through that. If you help out in your community, you will have a stronger sense of self and will get to know more people.
- Helping out in your community will also expose you to people of different ages and many different walks of life. This will help you gain popularity and feel proud of who you are.
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3Get involved in a sport. If you're interested in sports and want to try being part of a team, it can be fun to be involved in a sport like cheerleading, soccer, volleyball, baseball, tennis, or really any sport that your school or community offers. You don't have to be the world's greatest athlete to be involved in a sport, and being a part of a sport will help you learn to work with others, develop communication skills, and to find your niche when it comes to team work. Anyone can play sports. Though it's not mandatory, being involved in a sport can help you become more involved and be more popular, if it's the right fit for you.
- Don't be self-conscious if you don't feel athletic enough to join a sport. Give it a try first and see if you've found the best fit. If you don't like soccer, for example, try baseball. And if you just don't find it clicking with any sport, try another activity, such as painting or playing guitar, that may be more exciting for you.
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4Make a variety of different friends. If you really want to be a truly social creature, then you should be involved with a variety of people in your life. You shouldn't just be friends with the same type of person over and over; instead, be friends, or at least friendly, with people who are more sporty, people who are more into computers, or people who are more shy. The more different types of people you're friends with, the more comfortable you'll be in any social environment, and the more well-known and popular you'll be.
- Be bold and get to know people in different grades. People in younger grades will look up to you, and people in sixth grade (whether they're in middle school or your school) can give you some tips on how to survive in the higher grades.
- Don't just limit yourself to your school. Be friends with your neighbors, people on your rec teams, or people from other schools. This will help you branch out and be comfortable with a variety of people.
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5Help others. If a friend needs help, you should help them. If you study a lot you can help your friends study for tests and help a friend do their homework. Offer to help people and be kind. Do not be mean. Remember, being popular isn't about being mean. Never boss anyone and always help others.