How to Woo a Scorpio

Last Updated: March 17, 2023

If you met someone you know is a Scorpio, you may want to know how to date them. There is not empirical evidence that indicates someone's star sign affects their personality, so it's important not to use astrology to make assumptions about a potential mate. On the other hand, many people believe this to be true and some anecdotal evidence exists. If you're a believer in astrology, you should see if the person you are pursuing indeed has the traits of a Scorpio. If so, you may be able to get their attention by being driven, mysterious, and interesting. To maintain the relationship, stay loyal and trustworthy. If you break a Scorpio's trust, it can be difficult to win it back.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Attracting a Scorpio's Attention

1
Notice if the person has the common traits of a Scorpio. Before making assumptions about the person based on their sign, take some time to get to know a little about them and see which, if any, Scorpio traits they have. Even if you are an avid believer in astrology, you know that no two people under the same sign are alike (astrology is more complex that just the date you were born, but rather takes into account things like the exact time and year of birth). Get to know the person as an individual so you can find out if they are a "typical" Scorpio and, more importantly, if they have the traits you find desirable in a mate.
- Try talking to any mutual friends about the person's interests and personality.
- Use social media to your advantage and see what you can find out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. A peek at the Scorpio's LinkedIn account may reveal them to be career-driven, which is a common trait of their sign. Or you may learn that their career isn't really their top priority.
- Other common Scorpio personality traits include being honest, private, passionate, mysterious, honest, stubborn, jealous, moody, hot-headed, and loyal.
2
Focus on yourself and your own goals. Scorpios tend to attract a lot of people. Chances are, any eligible Scorpio has many suitors at any given time. A typical Scorpio is independent and career-driven by nature. They tend to look for mates who can match them. Instead of throwing yourself at a Scorpio, focus on yourself. Independence and ambition will be more likely to attract a Scorpio than coming on too strongly.
- Make sure you know your own life goals. A Scorpio is unlikely to be attracted to someone who they perceive as a slacker. Before meeting up with a Scorpio, reflect on your career and your passions so you can provide a solid answer to, "What do you do for a living?"
- You want to look like someone who knows what they want and is actively pursuing that. Scorpios will be drawn to those who can match their ambitions.
- At the same time, don't fake it. Scorpios — and most people, for that matter — value honesty. Don't pretend you know what you're doing if you don't. This might, however, be a good opportunity for you to try and figure it out!
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3
Be bold about approaching a Scorpio. Notice if the person has many people vying for their affection. You may need to be a little bold when approaching a Scorpio. Find ways to stand out.
- As Scorpios often have many different lovers, it may be difficult to get a Scorpio to notice you; therefore, don't be shy about making the first move.
- Allow yourself to be bold and outgoing. Show the person that you are also passionate and enthusiastic. Mention your hobbies and interests. A Scorpio will admire someone with a lot going on.
4
Develop an interest in mysterious topics. Notice if this Scorpio seems curious and interested in the mystical. Is the person unlikely to accept the status quo and generally question everything? This is ideal if you also have an interest in mysterious topics, like UFOs, ghost sightings, and unexplained mysteries. This will give you a lot to talk over with a Scorpio.^{[1]
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- You can watch movies and documentaries on such topics online. You can check out books on these topics at a local library.
- If you haven't met a potential Scorpio yet, going to places catered around mysterious interest may help you find a Scorpio. You may, for example, encounter a Scorpio at a tarot card shop.
5
Avoid dressing too provocatively. Scorpio's are very sex-driven. When meeting up with a Scorpio, wear something that highlights your best features; however, Scorpios love mystery. Find a balance between sexy and modest. You do not want to dress like you're going to a job interview, but you also want to avoid dressing too provocatively.^{[2]
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- At the same time, don't change your style because you think it might impress this person. If your style is a little risqué, then let the Scorpio see that is part of who you are. The most important thing is to dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
6
Begin a conversation when a Scorpio is not busy. Scorpios are highly ambitious and can be intense about their work, and it's never a good idea to interrupt someone when they're very busy and can't focus on you. If you want to make contact with a Scorpio, wait until they have a free moment to strike up a conversation.
- If you work with a Scorpio, for example, avoid approaching them when they're engaged with a task. Wait until a Scorpio is taking a break before attempting conversation.
- If you're unsure if someone is working or not, read the signs. If the person seems preoccupied as you try to talk, they may be engaged in a task on their phone or may be thinking over a problem. If a Scorpio seems preoccupied, it's always best to walk away.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Pursuing a Romance

1
Stay true to yourself. Authenticity is an important part of pursuing a romance. Changing who you are, doing things that are against your morals or values, or behaving in a certain way just because you think the other person wants you to behave that way — these are not ways to form a lasting connection. It's more important important that you stay true to who you are — your interests, your traits and quirks, your values and personality — than that you fit the mold of what you think someone might want.
- Keep in mind that if someone doesn't like you for who you are, then they are not the right person for you.
2
Maintain some mystery. Scorpios like a partner that keeps them guessing. As you begin a romance, do not give away everything right away. Maintaining some mystery is key to wooing a Scorpio.
- Don't reveal too much about yourself right away. Withhold certain details about your life, hobbies, and passions. You want to keep a Scorpio guessing for a bit. If they know there's more to discover, they're more likely to continue pursuing you.
- However, never be deceitful. Reveal information gradually, but never lie or misrepresent yourself. Scorpios (and most people) dislike deception. You can be mysterious without outright lying to a Scorpio.
- Remember, if you're a "heart-on-your-sleeve" type, don't pretend that you're not. If you like to lay it all out on the table, then go ahead. Don't pretend to be mysterious if that's not who you are.
3
Give genuine compliments to a Scorpio. Scorpios tend to be very honest, about themselves and others. If you feel the inclination to compliment a Scorpio, keep it realistic. Too much flattery or excessive compliments may make a Scorpio suspicious. Only compliment a Scorpio on traits you genuinely admire.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium
Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.}
- Try to observe how the person accepts compliments. Sometimes they truly make a person uncomfortable, and sometimes they can make the person's day. Don't miss out on an opportunity to give someone a genuine compliment based only on their sign.
4
Plan suitable dates. If you and your Scorpio love learning and mystery, then plan dates that appeal to these interests. This will keep your Scorpio engaged and interested in you.
- If you go to the movies, choose a movie with an intricate plot. Scorpios love movies that are a challenge to follow.
- Museums can help Scorpios learn new things, so a date to a museum can be a great way to woo a Scorpio.
- Games or sports are also much appreciated by Scorpios, as they love the challenge. A game of chess may not seem romantic, but a Scorpio may appreciate it.
5
Allow things to progress naturally. Scorpios can sometimes take time to commit to a partner. Scorpios are unlikely to engage in anything they are less than passionate about, so don't be surprised if things move slowly. It will take time to earn a Scorpio's love. Once you do, however, you will have a highly loyal romantic partner.^{[4]
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6
Compete. Notice if your Scorpio loves a little competition. If you are also competitive, then you can plan activities that allow you to compete regularly (although be warned they do like to win). Play games, like chess and board games. Engage in sports or place bets. A good way to keep a Scorpio actively engaged in keeping a sense of competitiveness alive in the relationship.
7
Talk about your sexuality. Classic Scorpios are very sex driven, but it's very important that you make no assumptions in this area. Regardless of the person's sign, you will want to focus on reading their signals and even have a talk about individual preferences. Having a conversation about preferences and physical boundaries trumps any typical sign advice.
- A typical Scorpio is unlikely to be interested in casual sex.
- Sex may be intense with a Scorpio. They may expect a lot of intimacy before and after sexual activity.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Keeping up the Relationship

1
Remain loyal and trustworthy. Scorpios do not tolerate a person breaking their trust. They tend to be the jealous type and also expect a high amount of integrity from those around them. If you are not trustworthy or faithful, you can tank your relationship with a Scorpio.
- Talk to your partners about their boundaries and what you expect from each other in the relationship. For instance, harmless flirtatious behavior may not feel serious to you, but your partner may find this very hurtful or a violation of trust. It is important that you discuss what loyalty and trust means to you both.
- Scorpios expect honesty and tend to give it in return. Lying to a Scorpio, even a white lie, is a bad idea. Never do anything that could potentially break a Scorpio's trust, as it is hard to win back.
2
Avoid invading a Scorpio's privacy. A classic Scorpio may need a lot of alone time. They can be mysterious by nature, and may be secretive and private about odd things. A Scorpio, for example, may never let their partner read their emails or use their laptop. This does not mean a Scorpio is hiding something. They just have a strong need for privacy. If you want the relationship to work, you should respect this boundary.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium
Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.}
3
Support a Scorpio's passions. Scorpios are very driven people, and need a partner who will support them. Allow your Scorpio partner to pursue their passions. If you get between a Scorpio and their dreams, your relationship is less likely to work out.
- Remember, never disrupt a Scorpio at work. There may be times when a Scorpio is engaged with a task for a prolonged period of time. Let the Scorpio have this space to work and think.
4
Make sure you're compatible beyond your signs. Put your signs aside for the moment and ask yourself if you and this person are compatible based on who you are as individuals. Do you share common values, beliefs, interests? Can you trust each other, get along, and be vulnerable with one another? Can you be yourself around this person? If you are compatible in these ways, then you have a better chance of a longterm relationship.
- If you also want to take your signs into account, you can find out which signs are thought to be most compatible with a Scorpio. Capricorn, Pisces, or other Scorpios, are thought to have a better chance of a long-term relationship.
- If you're a Taurus, Gemini, or Cancer, you may have good chemistry with a Scorpio. You may have a fun short term love affair, but things may not work out long term.
- If you're an Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, or Aquarius, it may not be a good idea to date a Scorpio.
- Again, don't let your sign compatibility interfere with how you and the Scorpio match up when it comes to values, personality, and beliefs.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you attract a Scorpio?

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium
Jessica Lanyadoo is an astrologer with over 20 years of consulting experience. She is the author of Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along and is the host of the popular astrology and advice show, Ghost of a Podcast. Lanyadoo co-hosted TLC’s digital astrology show Stargazing and writes weekly and monthly horoscopes that help you heal.

Jessica Lanyadoo

Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Answer

Compliment them frequently. Be authentic in your compliments, but find positive things to say about their looks and behavior. Scorpios tend to be very diplomatic as well, so pay attention to how they interact with others to figure out the best strategy.

Warnings

Scorpios can be jealous and may sometimes have a temper. If you don't think you can deal with a temperamental partner, avoid dating a Scorpio.

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Do not manipulate, use, accessorize, lie to, or otherwise hurt Scorpio. Scorpio rarely deals with their emotional pain in a peaceful or constructive way.

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