How to Talk About Religion

Talking about religion can be a rewarding and mind-expanding experience, but it is a subject that needs to be approached with care. Because of each person’s unique and personal relationship to their religious beliefs, it’s best to go into a conversation about religion with some tools to respectfully talk about the subject. This article provides answers to the most common questions regarding talking about religion. Whether you want to learn more about a certain religion or you're curious to know what a friend believes, use this article to move the conversation in a respectful and positive direction whatever the context.

Question 1 of 7:

Is it okay to ask someone about their religion?

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    Yes, but make sure the person is comfortable first. People often have a very personal and significant relationship with faith. Because of that, it's important to be really sensitive when you're discussing someone else's religion. Avoid asking someone about their religion as a means to ridicule or point out flaws.[1]
    • If you want to learn more about your friend’s Jewish faith, for example, ask them first if they are comfortable talking about it with you. Ask something like, “Would it be alright with you if I asked you a question about your faith?”
    • If they say yes, proceed with your question as long as it is coming from a desire to be educated. If they say no, respond with something like, “I completely understand!” and do not pressure them to change their mind.
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Question 2 of 7:

How do you show respect for other religions?

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    Approach the subject with an open mind. If someone has a different belief system than you, avoid focusing on what makes you different or your own beliefs about their religion. Be open to learning new things. You may be surprised by how many values you share with someone of a different faith than you.[2]
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    Educate yourself about religions all over the world. Read books and listen to podcasts about the different religions throughout your community and beyond, and consider studying religious texts across a wide array of faiths. This can help you expand your mind on the subject of religion, learn things about yourself and others, and approach conversations about religion from a more educated point of view.[3]
    • You might even consider attending a religious service of a different faith than your own to learn more. Of course, it’s best to call ahead and ask if those that are not a part of the faith are welcome at that service.
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Question 3 of 7:

Can you talk about religion in school?

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    Yes, but only for educational purposes if you attend or teach at a public school. Students can discuss religion and learn more about it as a means to become more knowledgeable about the world. In other words, religion can only be studied through a secular lens. Because of this, teachers are not permitted to teach religion to convert students to a specific belief system.[4]
    • If you’re a teacher, refrain from putting a student on the spot about their religion. Even if you are learning about a religion that one of your students belongs to, do not ask them to speak for their religion. This could alienate them in front of their classmates.[5]
    • If you’d like to talk about religion or teach it in the classroom, make sure you spend equal time talking about a variety of different faiths rather than emphasizing just one.
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    Yes, if your school is a part of a religious institution. Private schools like Catholic schools are subject to different guidelines than public schools when it comes to religion. At a religious-affiliated, private school, teachers are allowed to teach that specific faith and lead students in prayer, for example.[6]
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Question 4 of 7:

How do you talk about religion in the workplace?

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    Pick an appropriate time and approach the conversation with care. If you're in the middle of a shift, that's not the time to ask about a coworker's religion or start up a religious debate.[7] There are times when talking about religion may be appropriate, though. For example, if you are both on break and notice that a specific religious holiday is coming up, it's okay to talk about it if you are both coming from a respectful, open-minded place.[8]
    • Refrain from putting a coworker on the spot or asking invasive questions if they are of a different faith than you.
    • If a coworker brings up their faith willingly, give them the space to talk about it if you feel comfortable. Listen to what they have to say and avoid starting up a debate or pointing out their differing belief system so you do not alienate them.
    • Make things like company-wide holiday emails and workplace decorations representative of all faiths.
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    You cannot ask about someone’s religion during a job interview. Questions like, "What are your religious beliefs?" or "Do you attend religious services on the weekends?" are considered rude and invasive. In addition, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (Title VII) forbids employers from basing hiring, firing, or conditions of employment on an individual's religious beliefs. This is considered religious discrimination and must be avoided at all costs.[9]
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Question 5 of 7:

How do I talk to my partner about religion?

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    Be honest about what your faith means to you. If you love someone, it may be tempting to avoid topics you do not agree on to avoid conflict. It’s important to realize that this difference won’t go away, though, so it’s best to get it out in the open.[10]
    • Be clear with yourself and your partner about what role religion plays in your life, both spiritually and culturally.
    • For example, if you consider your Christian faith a big part of your life, be open about what those traditions and values mean to you. Even if your partner is not Christian themselves, it’s important that they know about this part of you to foster a strong and close relationship.
    • Consider inviting your partner to a religious service of your faith. If you want to learn more about your partner's faith, ask if you can attend a service with them. After, talk about the service with each other.[11]
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    Determine what role religion will play in your lives if you have children. Especially if you are of two different faiths, the two of you may have different ideas about how you want to introduce your faith to your kids. Talk openly with your partner about how each of you would like to approach this, whether it be raising them according to the faith you both share or introducing them to both religions as an interfaith family.[12]
    • For example, many interfaith families celebrate multiple religious holidays, such as Christmas and Hannukah, as a household.[13]
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Question 6 of 7:

How do you explain religion to a child?

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    Teach them about your religious faith. If you are religious, you most likely plan to share your beliefs with your children. Explain the values and teachings of your religion to them, and guide them to understand the purpose of each tradition. For example, during religious holidays, explain the original meaning behind the holiday and why it is important to continue celebrating today.[14]
    • Consider reading children's stories related to your faith at bedtime, watching religious television programs meant for children, and taking them to age-appropriate, religious community events.
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    Teach them about different faiths. To encourage your child to be open-minded and understanding of others' belief systems, explain that there are many different religions. Let them know that each has their own unique set of values and traditions.[15]
    • Try reading children's books about different religions before bedtime, watching educational, religious television programs for children, and attending community events across a wide range of religions to help them learn more.[16]
    • Educate your child on religions all over the world, including Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism.
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    Answer any questions they may have. Religion is a complicated and vast subject, so it may be difficult for a young child to fully comprehend. When talking about religion with your child, listen to their questions respectfully and answer them as best you can.[17]
    • This step may involve doing some research if you don't know the answer to your child's question! Take it as an opportunity to learn along with your child and read about the subject together.
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Question 7 of 7:

How do you address religious differences?

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    Educate yourself about the other person’s religion. If someone you know is a different religion than you, it’s important to respect their beliefs. Try reading about their religion to better understand their point of view. Rather than simply tolerating their differences, educate yourself on the philosophy behind their belief systems to better understand what their religious customs symbolize in their life.[18]
    • If a friend of yours is a practicing Muslim and they are fasting during Ramadan, take the time to learn about the spiritual significance of fasting in Islam.
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    Avoid picking fights or pointing out differences. You do not need to agree on your religious beliefs to foster a meaningful friendship or relationship with someone, but you do need to respect their point of view. If you do not agree on religion, either approach conversations through an attempt to understand or refrain from discussing the matter.[19]
    • Debating a religious topic, unless the person has explicitly said they would like to do this, may offend your friend or make them uncomfortable.[20]
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How do you approach someone with different beliefs?
    Lia Huynh, LMFT
    Lia Huynh, LMFT
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
    Lia Huynh is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with over 20 years of experience. She specializes in providing counseling services for individuals, couples, Christians, and Asian Americans. Lia holds a BA in Psychology from The University of California, Los Angeles and an MS in Marriage and Family Therapy and Pupil Personnel Services from San Francisco State University.
    Lia Huynh, LMFT
    Lia Huynh, LMFT
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Even if you don’t have religion in common, we are all still human and can share many other things in common! The key is not to focus on the fact that this person doesn't follow your belief, but rather to find things that you do share. Do you like the same sports, vacation destinations? Do you share similar career goals or hobbies? Start from there and go on!
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References

  1. ↑ http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/apr12/vol69/num07/How-to-Talk-About-Religion.aspx
  2. ↑ http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/apr12/vol69/num07/How-to-Talk-About-Religion.aspx
  3. ↑ http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/apr12/vol69/num07/How-to-Talk-About-Religion.aspx
  4. ↑ https://www.adl.org/education/resources/tools-and-strategies/religion-in-public-schools/curriculum
  5. ↑ https://www.adl.org/education/resources/tools-and-strategies/religion-in-public-schools/curriculum
  6. ↑ https://www.pewforum.org/2019/10/03/religion-in-the-public-schools-2019-update/
  7. ↑ https://hbr.org/2020/12/creating-space-for-religious-diversity-at-work
  8. ↑ https://hbr.org/2020/12/creating-space-for-religious-diversity-at-work
  9. ↑ https://www.dol.gov/agencies/oasam/civil-rights-center/internal/policies/religious-discrimination-accommodation
  1. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/7-ways-to-make-interfaith-relationships-work
  2. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/7-ways-to-make-interfaith-relationships-work
  3. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/7-ways-to-make-interfaith-relationships-work
  4. ↑ https://www.rewire.org/pieces-holiday-advice-interfaith-families/
  5. ↑ https://www.rewire.org/pieces-holiday-advice-interfaith-families/
  6. ↑ https://www.rewire.org/pieces-holiday-advice-interfaith-families/
  7. ↑ http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/apr12/vol69/num07/How-to-Talk-About-Religion.aspx
  8. ↑ http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/apr12/vol69/num07/How-to-Talk-About-Religion.aspx
  9. ↑ http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/apr12/vol69/num07/How-to-Talk-About-Religion.aspx
  10. ↑ http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/apr12/vol69/num07/How-to-Talk-About-Religion.aspx
  11. ↑ http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/apr12/vol69/num07/How-to-Talk-About-Religion.aspx

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wikiHow Staff
Co-authored by:
wikiHow Staff
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This article was co-authored by wikiHow Staff. Our trained team of editors and researchers validate articles for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow's Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article is backed by trusted research and meets our high quality standards. This article has been viewed 12,356 times.
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Co-authors: 4
Updated: October 16, 2022
Views: 12,356
Categories: Religion
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