How to Take Compliments

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Congratulations! You've earned somebody's respect and admiration. What do you say to that? If you're flustered by praise, it's time to learn how to take a compliment at face value and appreciate the sentiment. Refuse the urge to put yourself down or minimize your efforts. Instead, acknowledge the compliment and say thank you. After all, you're worth it, right?

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Responding to Compliments

1
Simply say, “Thank you.” Don’t overthink it or read into anyone’s comment. If someone pays you a compliment, the easiest response is just to say “thank you.”^{[1]
X
Research source}
- For example, if someone compliments your outfit (yet you think you look sloppy), simply say, “Thank you.”
- Don't look for “hidden meanings” or make your own interpretations of the compliment to diminish it. Accept it at face value. For example, someone may say, "Your hair looks great today!" Don't take that to mean your hair doesn't look great every other day.
2
Express your gratitude. Whether you agree with the compliment or not matters very little. The other person’s motivations also matter very little. Acknowledge that somebody spent a moment saying something nice about you and accept that moment graciously.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- For example, if someone compliments your dog’s good behavior, say, “That’s kind, thank you.”
Advertisement
3
Give credit where credit is due. If someone pays you a compliment yet other people were involved, give them credit as well. This is especially important when receiving recognition. Give credit to anyone who helped you or contributed.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- For example, if you are serving a meal that your sister helped prepare, make sure to include her when accepting a compliment. Say, “Thank you, Abby and I worked on it together. We’re so glad you enjoyed it.”
4
Return a compliment. Remember when a person has complimented you and note that it's nice and courteous to return it. While you don’t need to immediately say something nice, do keep in mind their compliment and find something to compliment them on as well. Take note of the things people do and show them recognition.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Get into the habit of making regular compliments through seeing the good in others and expressing this openly.
- People appreciate being acknowledged for hard work and kind gestures. Show that their kindness does not go unnoticed.
5
Be gracious. Many people worry about appearing overly confident or stuck up when receiving compliments. The trick is to accept the compliment as is. Saying, “I know, thank you” can come across as rude, even though you’re acknowledging your own abilities. Focus on being gracious, warm, and receptive.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- For example, if you worked hard on your presentation and you know you nailed it, you don’t have to say so when complimented. You can, however, acknowledge your hard work by saying, “Thank you. I worked so hard and it’s nice to hear you enjoyed it.”
6
Demonstrate appropriate nonverbal behavior. Show that you are receptive to the compliment through your body language. Maintain steady eye contact and indicate interest and engagement through your facial expression. Crossing your arms may indicate that you’re not receptive or that you’re skeptical.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- When taking a compliment, smiling says a lot without requiring you to say anything.
7
Respond to a backhanded compliment. A backhanded compliment is an insult disguised as a compliment. For example, "Your holiday decorations look great -- I'm always amazed at what you do with so little money." Responding to a backhanded compliment can be tricky. If someone gives you a backhanded compliment, assess what they might mean from it. If they are seeking attention or sympathy, feel free to ignore it or respond to the positive part of it only. If the person appears genuinely clueless in their misstep, just say thank you and move on.
- For example, a family member might give you a backhanded compliment for your recent marriage. Instead of taking offense, just say “Thanks, Aunt Maude!”
- If the person is seeking attention (for example, saying, “You look nice today. Why don’t you dress this way more often?”) respond to the positive part. Say, “Thank you for noticing.”

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Being More Receptive to Compliments

1
Own your strengths. If you shy away from compliments because you don’t want to appear conceited or full of yourself, recognize that you deserve recognition. It’s not conceited to accept a compliment. If someone points out that you look nice or did a great job on a project, acknowledge that you put work into it and that they are recognizing you.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- For example, if you put a lot of work into a presentation and someone says, “Great presentation!” acknowledge your hard work by saying, “Thanks! I worked hard on it.”
2
Avoid disconfirming the compliment. You might feel tempted to disagree with the comment as a way to appear humble. However, by saying things like, “It was nothing” or, “Don't mention it,” you downplay your role, the compliment, and the person giving it. Besides, the person might feel rejected if you disagree.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- For example, if someone compliments your clean house, resist the urge to say, “I haven’t cleaned in a week. It looks horrible!” This might make them feel bad or that you think they are sloppy.
3
See yourself the way that others see you. Take a moment and reflect on the compliments you receive. Whether you believe them or not, take the chance to see how others see you. You might learn something about yourself or the work you do and feel more positively.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- For example, if you often receive compliments about your job performance, that means that other people are noticing the great work you do.
- Understand that your self-evaluations will tend to be harsher or more demanding than other people's evaluations of you. If you find yourself constantly second-guessing compliments, maybe there is something you need to change about your self-evaluations.
4
Boost your self-esteem. If you feel good about yourself, you may feel good when someone else notices something positive about you. Increasing your self-esteem can make you less resistant to compliments.^{[10]
X
Research source} Do this by thinking positively about yourself and recognizing your worth.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- For example, write down the things you like about yourself and think about them when you feel low.