How to Stop Complaining (Christianity)

Last Updated: June 17, 2022

The Bible says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life." (Philippians 2:14,15). The Israelite masses complained a lot when they were in the wilderness, after God delivered them from Egypt. Some say that this was the main reason that God did not let them enter their Promised Land for 40 years. The Bible says in , "The people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, His anger was kindled and the fire of the Lord burned among them." (Numbers 11). Complaining makes God angry, because then you are being ungrateful for all that He has given you. Do you have a problem with complaining, and do you think it might be preventing you from entering your "promised land?" Here are some tips on how you can learn to stop complaining.

Steps

1
Be thankful: "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5).^{[1]
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Research source} Also consider, "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good. His love endures forever." (Psalm 136). As a Christian we have a lot of things to be thankful for; being forgiven, the hope of being in Heaven one day, being a child of God, etc. Besides that some say that, if you have a place to live and a car, you are richer than a large percentage of people in the world.
2
Keep a gratitude journal. If you have a tendency to forget all the blessings in your life, try writing them down every day.^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} Write out 10 things every day that you are thankful for. This will most likely greatly improve your mood and your ability to see more things to be thankful for.

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3
Learn to rejoice in all things: "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22). Paul wrote, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4). Paul wrote this when he was in prison. So, if he could tell himself to rejoice in such awful conditions, you can tell yourself to, as well, no matter what your current condition is.
- Happiness and joy are a choice. You can choose to be happy about your life, or you can choose not to. Also remember the verse, "The joy of the Lord is your strength." If you want to have strength for your life, choose to have a subdued joy and contentment no matter what.
4
Learn to be content with your life. No one is perfectly happy with their life. All humans know by instinct almost that life is not as it should be. Part of us knows that we were created for the Garden of Eden, but our current world is nothing like the Garden of Eden was. However, learning to be content is still possible.
- Paul said, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Even Paul had to learn how to be content. No one is born innately knowing how to always be content, but we can learn how.
- Another great verse is "godliness with contentment is great gain." If you can learn to praise God for your life as it is now, rather than always wishing that it were different, you will be much less likely to complain about things.
5
Get plenty of sleep. The world always looks a little more grey when you are tired. If you are feeling down, try taking a nice long nap. Most people feel much better after a good sleep. Trust the Lord, "In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for He (God) grants sleep to those He loves." (Psalm 127). God would want you to get 8 or 9 hours of sleep every night. Don't let yourself get sleep deprived. You would be much less likely to complain, if you are always well rested.
6
Retrain your thought life. Try to think about what you are thinking about more often. Our words are dictated by our thoughts. You can force yourself to think more positive thoughts. You can force yourself to think about good things rather than negative things. Control your thoughts rather than letting your thoughts control you.
- Consider, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8). If you think only about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy, you will have no room in your thoughts to think about what is false, wrong, impure, ugly, or not admirable.
- Write some positive thoughts you can think as alternatives to complaints, and keep the list handy.
7
Be humble. Often times complaining comes from our own ego and pride. We think things should be a certain way, or we think we deserve more than we are getting, so we complain about things not being up to our high standards. But, "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you." (Romans 12:3). Don't think of yourself as being more than you are. It would be good to stop thinking that you deserve special treatment or lavish things.
- See the humble reality of who you are rather than thinking you are someone greater than you are. Humbly say, "You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." (James 4:14). The reality is that our lives are very fragile and finite. We really can't even expect for sure to be alive tomorrow, let alone that tomorrow will be our best day ever.
- Accept that you don't have control over everything, and remind yourself to only focus on what you do have control over.
8
Lower your expectations. You might have too high of expectations about how things should go in your life. But, instead of expecting a lot, be happy, if you get anything good in life. As a Christian, it helps to remember that we deserved to die for our sins, but God showed His grace in sending His son to die for us. The fact that we get anything great in life is us getting much more than we deserve. Do all you can, but expect less than you had hoped, and you will probably be happier. Expect too much, and you will probably be miserable. Then you will be much more likely to complain, which will not help, but can cause more dissatisfaction.
9
Distance yourself from whatever is bothering you. If it's a person that is causing you to complain, take a healthy time out from them, if you can. If it's your job that causes you to complain more, consider changing jobs. If you can change whatever it is that is bothering you, then change it. If not, then learn to echo the Serenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Amen.
10
Speak words of faith. Rather than expecting and speaking about the worst case scenario, think of what might happen instead. Think about the possibilities. Have hope, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." (Ephesians 4:29). Instead of saying, "I just know today is going to be a horrible day,", or "Today is a horrible day," say "Thank you God that today is going to be a great day for all of us." Build up yourself and others in what you say. Speak words of faith and hope instead.
11
Ask for help. Ask people in your life to call you out when you are starting to complain about things. Ask people you know to remind you to stay positive. If you have an addiction to complaining, in a sense, you will need help from others to break that bad habit.