How to Make a Sad Person Happy

Co-authored by Sandra Possing and Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: September 13, 2021 References

Do you know someone who is feeling sad and you want to help? There are plenty of little things you can do to lift their spirits and help them see the light at the end of the tunnel. At the same time, it's important to recognize that sadness is a valid and necessary emotion. There are many reasons someone might be feeling sad, such as a recent setback or loss. Be there for them if they want to talk and reassure them that their sadness won't last forever. Here, we've gathered some great ideas you can use to spread some happiness.

1

Affirm and validate their feelings.

Reassure the person that it's okay to be sad. If the person is dealing with a recent event that's got them down, their sadness is likely only a temporary emotion that's perfectly valid and appropriate. Tell them you understand why they feel sad and that there's nothing wrong with feeling that way.^{[1]
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- Sometimes when you're sad, it's hard to imagine that you'll be happy again. It's okay to remind the person that their sadness will eventually pass.^{[2]
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  Sandra Possing
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.}
- Being aggressively cheerful or insisting that the person "snap out of it" or be more cheerful can alienate them.
- It's not up to you to decide how long is "too long" for someone to be sad. At the same time, if your friend or loved one is consistently sad for more than a couple of weeks, or if they're feeling hopeless and unmotivated, you might encourage them to talk to a professional.

2

Listen without criticizing or judging.

Let the person know you are someone safe they can vent to. You might say, "You don't seem like yourself lately. What's been going on?" If you know the reason they're sad, you might say, "I know you've been going through some tough times lately. I'm here if you need to vent."^{[3]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
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- When people are sad, they might want someone to talk to. Talking things out can help them process their emotions so they ultimately feel a little bit better.^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  Sandra Possing
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.}
- Remember that you aren't a therapist. It isn't your job to provide treatment or counseling on their mental state. Just encourage them to talk and be supportive.^{[5]
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3

Offer to complete a task for them.

If the person is feeling overwhelmed, take something off their plate. This is easy if you happen to live with the person—just look around for something that needs to be done and do it! If you live apart from them, on the other hand, you might ask, "What's something you've been putting off that I can do for you?"^{[6]
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- When people get sad and mopey, they often tend to let cleaning and basic errands fall by the wayside. Unfortunately, tasks can start to pile up and cause stress. By doing something for them, you take some of the pressure off.

4

Give them a sincere compliment.

A compliment will boost their spirits and yours as well. Compliment them about something they have control over, such as something they do or the way they interact with others. It will make them feel as though they're doing something right.^{[7]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
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- For example, you might say, "I just wanted to let you know that I really admire your cross-stitch. I remember when you first started and your improvement shows such dedication."

5

Cook them their favorite food or treat.

Helping with meals is a great way to show that you care. It's hard not to crack a smile when a friend shows up with a home-cooked meal or a batch of your favorite cookies! If you're not much of a cook, order their favorite takeout for them and have it delivered to their house.^{[8]
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- Comfort foods and sweets are always a good option. If the person has dietary restrictions or is sick, you might get herbal teas or soup to help them feel better.

6

Go for a walk with them.

Spending time outside, especially in nature, energizes the mind and body. Just the act of walking helps your body produce more feel-good chemicals that boost your mood. If the person you know who's sad is spending a lot of time churning negative thoughts and wallowing in their sadness, taking a walk out in nature can help.^{[9]
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American Heart Association
Leading nonprofit that funds medical research and public education
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- If the person is resistant to the idea of a walk at first, it's okay to try some gentle persuasion. Once they get going, they'll probably feel better and be grateful to you. But don't put too much pressure on them or try to force the matter—you could alienate them.
- Have the walk planned out to take pressure off the person. If you ask them to go for a walk and then have to figure out how long the walk is going to be and where you're going to go, they might just say "Forget it" and give up.

7

Bring your pet over to help cheer them up.

Playing with a pet is a mood-booster that helps people relax. Stroking a friendly animal is a quick way to cheer someone up when they're down in the dumps (provided they're not allergic to pet dander). Studies show playing with a pet elevates levels of serotonin and dopamine, chemicals in the body that promote calm and relaxation.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- If you don't have a pet, talk to other friends and see if you can connect them with an animal that way.
- This might not be the best idea if the person is sad because they're mourning the recent loss of their own pet. In that situation, playing with another animal might make them feel worse. Use your best judgment.

8

Hide little notes for the person to find.

This is a fun way to cheer someone up who lives or works with you. Get sticky notes and write encouraging or funny things on them, such as "You deserve a smile" or "You've got this!" Stick them in non-obvious places where the person will find them, then wait.
- For example, you might write a note that says, "I'm proud of you" or "You can do it" in their planner. They'll see it when they open their planner to start the day.
- You can do this with small toys or figures as well. For example, suppose you have a sad friend who loves ducks. You might buy a few small rubber duckies and hide them around your friend's home or office where they'll just happen across them as they go about their day. The mystery and whimsy are sure to bring a smile to their face.
- Be careful to respect the person's boundaries. Don't hide anything in a place that would require you to violate their privacy. For example, if you're trying to cheer up your roommate, you wouldn't want to hide a note in their underwear drawer.

9

Mail a hand-written note with words of encouragement.

This is an especially good option if the person lives far away from you. If you can't see someone in person but still want to do something to cheer them up, a hand-written card shows you care. The fact that you took the time to write it and were thinking about them will make them feel warm and fuzzy.^{[11]
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- Include something encouraging and supportive. For example, you might write, "I know things have been tough for you lately, but you're the kindest person I know. I'm always here if you need to chat."
- You might also include a favorite inspirational quote—even better if it's a quote from a book or movie they love!
- If you're an artist, you might want to draw or paint something on the card as well. Even if you can't really draw, your attempt might still be good for a chuckle.

10

Show patience and wait for them to come around.

Sometimes just letting someone know you're there for them is enough. Often, when a person is sad, they need a little time and space. You can't force someone who's sad to be happy again and pushing it can make them feel worse.^{[12]
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- If you give the person time and space to rest and relax, they'll be able to process whatever's making them sad and get through it.^{[13]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Sandra Possing
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 15 July 2020.} Just let them know that you're there if they ever need anyone to talk to.

Warnings

Being sad is different from being depressed. If someone has been persistently sad for more than 2 weeks, encourage them to talk to a mental health professional.^{[14]
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