This article was co-authored by Brian Bourquin, DVM. Brian Bourquin, better known as “Dr. B” to his clients, is a Veterinarian and the Owner of Boston Veterinary Clinic, a pet health care and veterinary clinic with three locations, South End/Bay Village, the Seaport, and Brookline, Massachusetts. Boston Veterinary Clinic specializes in primary veterinary care, including wellness and preventative care, sick and emergency care, soft-tissue surgery, dentistry. The clinic also provides specialty services in behavior, nutrition, and alternative pain management therapies using acupuncture, and therapeutic laser treatments. Boston Veterinary Clinic is an AAHA (American Animal Hospital Association) accredited hospital and Boston’s first Fear Free Certified Clinic. Brian has over 19 years of veterinary experience and earned his Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from Cornell University.
There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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To get someone else's cat to like you, approach it carefully by kneeling to its level, letting it sniff you, and respecting its limits. Earn the cat's favor by playing games with it, and giving it treats or toys. Once the cat is comfortable around you, pet it on the spots it will enjoy the most (e.g. under the chin, behind the ears).li
Steps
Greeting the Cat Respectfully
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1Kneel or sit at the cat's level. When trying to get to know someone else's cat, do not approach it. To appear as less of a threat, kneel or sit at the cat's level. Stay relatively still and avoid any jarring movements.[1]
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2Extend your finger or hand. While kneeling or sitting, slowly extend your finger or hand towards the cat, making sure that you are a safe enough distance from it that your gesture will not seem threatening. Leave your hand extended and wait for the cat to approach on its own.[2]Advertisement
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3Respect the cat's limits. If the cat does not warm up to you, back off from it and leave it alone. Make sure that the cat understands that it has control of the situation. Pushing an unwanted interaction can result in negative behaviour such as:[3]
- Scratching
- Hissing
- Running away
- Swatting
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4Don't try too hard to make the cat like you. Cats can become standoffish if you pester them to give you attention. Sometimes ignoring the cat is a good way to make it feel comfortable enough to approach you. If nothing else is working, try sitting down, being quiet, and letting the cat come to you on its own time.
- Avoid making direct eye contact with the cat. Cats can perceive direct eye contact as aggressive.[4]
Petting and Praising the Cat
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1Pet it under its chin. Once someone else's cat is comfortable around you and demonstrates signs of affection (e.g. rubbing up against your leg), try petting it gently. A good place to start is under its chin, which some cats love.[5] Let the cat sniff your finger and move its head upwards to allow you to pet it.[6]
- Gently rub the spot where the jawbone connects to the skull. This should elicit a purring noise from the cat if it enjoys it.
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2Focus on the back of its ears. Pet and scratch the cat at the base of its ears, which it is guaranteed to enjoy. Cats like being petted on areas where their scent glands are secreted so that it feels like they are marking you while you pet them. Cats are inclined to spread their scent to make their surroundings more familiar to them.[7]
- This is the same aim that cats have in mind when they bump you with their heads or rub up against you.
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3Pet its back. A back rub for a cat can feel just as good and beneficial as it does to humans. Pet down the cat's back generously, being gentle and cautious. Watch and listen for signs that the cat is enjoying the massage (e.g. purring).[8]
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4Avoid petting the tail. Cats tend to be sensitive about their tails, which are an important part of their anatomy. Petting a cat's tail could result in it lashing out defensively (e.g. scratching, clawing). Avoid touching, petting, or grabbing a cat's tail, particularly when you are trying to win its trust. [9]
- You should also generally avoid petting a cat's stomach.[10]
Engaging the Cat With Play and Treats
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1Use treats to draw its attention. As simple as it seems, food is an excellent way to win the favor of someone else's cat. If the cat is apprehensive around you, place a treat close to you, but far enough away that it will eat it without feeling threatened. Ignore the cat while it eats the treat, and continue this process over your next few visits with the cat.[11]
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2Toss a toy for it to chase or pounce on. To get someone else's cat to warm up to you, initiate a game with it. Toss a toy for the cat to chase, making sure that you throw it away from the cat as well as away from you. The neutral, non-threatening nature of this gesture and the curious nature of cats will make the cat likely to participate.[12]
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3Give it a gift. To get positive attention from a cat, bring it a gift it will enjoy. Visit your local pet store and purchase a deluxe toy such as a puzzle feeder, which you or its owner can fill with treats that the cat will slowly draw out (usually over the course of several hours). Introduce the toy to the cat and watch it have fun with your gift.
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you get a cat to like you when it hates you?
Brian Bourquin, DVMBrian Bourquin, better known as “Dr. B” to his clients, is a Veterinarian and the Owner of Boston Veterinary Clinic, a pet health care and veterinary clinic with three locations, South End/Bay Village, the Seaport, and Brookline, Massachusetts. Boston Veterinary Clinic specializes in primary veterinary care, including wellness and preventative care, sick and emergency care, soft-tissue surgery, dentistry. The clinic also provides specialty services in behavior, nutrition, and alternative pain management therapies using acupuncture, and therapeutic laser treatments. Boston Veterinary Clinic is an AAHA (American Animal Hospital Association) accredited hospital and Boston’s first Fear Free Certified Clinic. Brian has over 19 years of veterinary experience and earned his Doctor of Veterinary Medicine from Cornell University.
VeterinarianIt's important to read the cat's signals. If it starts whisking its tail back and forth or flattening its ears when you try to interact with it, give it some space. Keep in mind that cats don't necessarily want to be touched a lot. When you do pet the cat, pet it under its chin and avoid its belly and tail. Also, avoid staring at the cat since it might see that as aggressive. Instead, try sitting near the cat, looking at it sideways, and blinking to show it that you're not a threat.
References
- ↑ http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/greeting-a-cat-using-proper-cat-etiquette/
- ↑ http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com/greeting-a-cat-using-proper-cat-etiquette
- ↑ http://www.cathealth.com/how-and-why/greeting-a-cat
- ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
- ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
- ↑ http://www.vetstreet.com/dr-marty-becker/four-places-to-pet-your-cat-and-one-to-leave-alone?page=2
- ↑ http://www.vetstreet.com/dr-marty-becker/four-places-to-pet-your-cat-and-one-to-leave-alone?page=2
- ↑ http://www.pawculture.com/tips-advice/bonding/how-to-cuddle-a-cat-the-ultimate-guide/
- ↑ http://www.pawculture.com/tips-advice/bonding/how-to-cuddle-a-cat-the-ultimate-guide/
- ↑ Brian Bourquin, DVM. Veterinarian. Expert Interview. 20 December 2019.
- ↑ http://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/can-i-get-my-new-girlfriends-cat-to-like-me?page=2
- ↑ http://www.cathealth.com/how-and-why/greeting-a-cat
About This Article
To get someone else’s cat to like you, start by approaching it kneeling or sitting at its level to make yourself less threatening. Slowly extend your hand toward the cat, staying at a safe distance to avoid scaring it. Leave your hand there and let the cat approach you to sniff your hand if it wants to. Once it is comfortable enough to let you pet it, scratch it gently under its chin, and then move on to the base of its ears, and eventually to its back. If you’re having a hard time getting the cat’s attention, offer it treats to encourage it to approach you. For more tips from our Veterinary co-author, like how to play with a cat with toys, keep reading!
