How to Deal with Picky Eaters

Co-authored by Amy Chow

Last Updated: October 13, 2022 References

It can frustrating when someone in your life turns up their nose at half the items on their dinner plate. Picky eating is a problem that affects both children and adults, and can also have a negative effect on the people who eat with them or prepare their food. Children often need a bit of help to try new foods, so make eating fun and involve them in choosing ingredients. If you're trying to help an adult picky eater, encourage them to try new foods in different ways and provide non-judgmental support. In some cases, picky eating can be caused by an eating disorder called Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) that needs to be diagnosed and treated.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Helping Children Learn to Like Healthy Foods

1
Don't force children to eat when they're full. While getting kids to join the “clean plate club” might seem like a good idea, it can actually cause them to develop picky eating habits. Since being overfull can cause stomach pain or other gastrointestinal problems, children who've been encouraged to eat more than they need may slowly begin to dislike eating due to the negative experience.^{[1]
X
Trustworthy Source
Child Mind Institute
Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families
Go to source}^{[2]
X
Expert Source

Amy Chow
Registered Dietitian
Expert Interview. 6 October 2022.}
- The foods that children will want to stop eating first are likely the most important ones -- like vegetables!
2
Introduce new foods gradually. New tastes, textures, and smells can be a little scary for children, but a lack of skills or opportunities to develop eating skills needed to eat a variety of foods can help a child become too picky.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Amy Chow
Registered Dietitian
Expert Interview. 6 October 2022.} Put very small portions of unfamiliar items on their plates, and don't make a big deal about the new arrival.^{[4]
X
Trustworthy Source
Child Mind Institute
Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families
Go to source} You can also incorporate new foods into dishes that include items you know your kids like.
- For example, maybe your child has never had spinach. If you know they love creamy foods, try starting off with creamed spinach rather than a spinach salad. You can also try broccoli and cheese if they like cheesy flavors.
- A lack of variety in foods being offered limits exposure and experiences to familiar foods only and helps children become picky eaters.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Amy Chow
  Registered Dietitian
  Expert Interview. 6 October 2022.}
Advertisement
3
Fill children's plates with colors and fun shapes. Make your meals into a game! Rather than encouraging children to eat their carrots, tell them they need to eat “the orange food” to complete the rainbow. You can also use cookie cutters to transform unappealing items into circles, stars, or squares. Tell your child they need to “collect” each shape.^{[6]
X
Research source}
4
Avoid making separate meals for children. Once your child realizes this is an option, it'll be very difficult to take it back. Persevere through the food battles and remind yourself that you're avoiding making more work for yourself over the long term.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Unless they have a clinical disorder like ARFID, children will eventually eat when they're hungry.
5
Involve kids in shopping and meal prep. This will help children to feel invested in what they eat. Especially when you're in the produce or meat sections, ask them to pick out a few ingredients that they'd like to try. Then, get them to help you pick out a recipe and prepare the meal. Later, if they say don't like something, remind them that they chose it. This may be enough to get them to eat at least a few bites.
6
Let dessert be dessert, not a reward. Bribing your children to eat just 2 more bites of peas in return for a bowl of ice cream isn't a good idea.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Kylee Money
Parenting Consultant
Expert Interview. 21 May 2021.} This can make them feel like sweets are the best foods, which they probably don't need more prompting to believe! It might also cause them to expect dessert after every meal. Instead, make 1 or 2 nights a week “dessert nights.”^{[9]
X
Research source}
7
Model good eating habits for your children if you can. Children learn by observation. If they see you eating a balanced mix of healthy foods, they'll be more likely to follow suit. However, watching you eating lots of soda, snack foods, and dessert will make them wonder why they can't do the same.^{[10]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Heart Association
Leading nonprofit that funds medical research and public education
Go to source}
- If you're struggling with your own picky eating habits, this might be the motivation you need to address the problem!

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Addressing Picky Eating in Adults

1
Help the picky eater find their motivation for changing. Picky eating may keep your family member or friend from maintaining a balanced diet. As a result, their health might not be as good as it could be. Maybe recognizing this is what they need to make them want to address their picky eating.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- There are lots of things that might motivate someone to overcome picky eating. Perhaps they need a more nutritious diet to support a new exercise plan. Or maybe they'd like to show their children that they can try new foods, too!
2
Enlist family and friends as the picky eater tries new foods. Tell the people you're closest with that you're trying to help the picky eater make some changes to their eating habits. Ask this support network to suggest recipes, help prepare foods in new ways, and generally provide sympathy and support. Emphasize that rushing the process won't help, so ask them to be patient and supportive.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- If the picky eater has people in their life that are judgmental about their habits, tell them to avoid spending time with those people during this transition. Feeling pressured or judged may hinder their progress.
3
Suggest that the picky eater prepare problem foods in new ways. Make a list of the top 5 foods that the picky eater doesn't like eating. Look up recipes that incorporate those foods in unique ways. Since texture or smell may be behind their dislike of a particular food, it's possible that changing the way it's cooked might solve this issue.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- For example, steamed broccoli has a very strong and recognizable smell. That scent might be diluted in a soup recipe that calls for running the ingredients through a food processor.
4
Encourage the picky eater not to give up on foods too quickly. Tell them to keep trying an item they dislike at least 10 times. Occasionally, exposing a picky eater to a food they've had issues with in the past over and over again can cause them to acquire a taste for it. Suggest they eat very small portions of this item. You can also help them prepare it in new ways each time they try it. Make note of which dishes they can tolerate -- or even enjoy!^{[14]
X
Research source}
- Only cross an item off the list of possibilities when you and the picky eater are sure you've given trying it your all.
5
Control your frustration when interacting with a picky eater. If you have a friend, family member, or even acquaintance who is a picky eater, you may occasionally feel exasperated by their eating habits. Remember that this isn't your problem to change or control -- it's theirs. Your judgment isn't going to help them do that, so back off and walk away when you feel your frustration rising.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Supporting a Loved One with ARFID

1
Spot behavioral signs associated with fears of eating. ARFID is a clinical condition with both physical and psychological symptoms. Some of the most common behavioral warning signs include a fear of choking or vomiting when eating, avoidance of eating in public, and food pickiness that progressively gets worse.^{[15]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Eating Disorders Association
Nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting individuals and communities affected by eating disorders
Go to source} If you notice these symptoms in a loved one, talk to them about going to the doctor to get an accurate diagnosis.
- People with ARFID may also wear thick or baggy clothing to hide weight loss, not be interested in or excited about food, or will only eat foods of a certain texture.
- Unlike many other eating disorders, ARFID generally isn't associated with body image issues.
2
Watch out for weight loss and nutrition issues. Having ARFID may prevent people from eating the foods that give them necessary nutrients. Beyond being underweight, people with this condition could experience many physical changes signaling that their health is being compromised by their eating disorder. These are troubling symptoms that require immediate treatment by a doctor.^{[16]
X
Research source} They include:^{[17]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Eating Disorders Association
Nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting individuals and communities affected by eating disorders
Go to source}
- Stomach cramps and/or constipation.
- Menstrual irregularities if they're a girl or woman.
- Dizziness or fainting.
- Dry skin and nails.
- Muscle weakness.
- Feeling cold.
- Trouble recovering from minor wounds and/or illnesses.
- Abnormal lab results including anemia, low blood cell counts, and/or a slow heart rate.
3
Expect a psychiatrist to prescribe exposure therapy for problem foods. ARFID is still being studied by doctors and psychiatrists, so the treatments are relatively new. However, once the doctor has confirmed this diagnosis, they'll likely recommend working with a qualified psychiatrist who has experience addressing eating disorders. The psychiatrist will develop a plan to slowly build up to a diversified and healthy diet.^{[18]
X
Research source}
- This type of treatment will be long-term, so be patient if someone you love is struggling with ARFID. Don't expect results or dramatic changes overnight.
4
Seek medical treatment for your loved one to address nutritional deficiencies. If ARFID has caused the health of someone you're close with to decline significantly, a hospital stay may be called for to provide them with vital nutrients and stabilization. The doctor will determine whether or not this is necessary. They may also prescribe supplements as a long-term solution for providing essential nutrients.^{[19]
X
Research source}

Expert Q&A

Question

Should I let my child snack if they don't eat their meals?

Kylee Money
Parenting Consultant
Kylee Money is a Parenting Consultant and the Founder and CEO of Parenting Made Joyful. Since 2001, Kylee has worked with over 1,000 parents and families on sleep training, behavior management, potty training, and more. She is a contributing writer and board advisory member at Pampers.com, a CBS News Parent Expert, and featured on Fox and Friends and Buy Buy Baby. Kylee also speaks nationally at parenting expos on the subject of sleep training.

Kylee Money

Parenting Consultant

Expert Answer

A lot of parents will give their child a snack if they don't eat their meals because they're afraid their child isn't eating enough. However, this just teaches children that they don't have to eat their meals because they'll get a snack later.
Question

Isn’t autism another condition that can affect eating habits?

Mitchtab

Community Answer

Yes, autism can affect eating habits. For example, someone with autism might only eat chicken if it's chicken strips, or they might not want to eat orange foods so they won't eat carrots, oranges, or orange bell peppers.