This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
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Do you feel like porn is taking over your life? While it’s totally normal to watch pornography every now and then, many people find that it can become an addictive behavior that they just can’t stop. Fortunately, there are ways to treat a porn addiction, either by yourself or with a professional. Keep reading to learn if you have a porn addiction and how exactly you can improve your life starting today.
Things You Should Know
- Delete all porn from your devices, and consider installing a parental lock to make it harder to watch porn.
- Replace your porn habit with a different one, like exercising or doing a hobby.
- Identify your triggers, like loneliness, boredom, or stress, and do your best to avoid them in the future.
Steps
Overcoming Your Addiction on Your Own
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1Delete porn from your devices. Here comes the hard part: getting rid of porn. Whatever you have on your phone, computer, or tablet, get rid of it (and that includes bookmarks). The tougher it is to access, the easier it will be to avoid pornography.[1]
- This goes for any hardcopy porn you have, too. Dump those old magazines and risque calendars you have laying around so you aren’t tempted.
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2Put a parental lock on your phone and computer. If you have someone you trust, let them know about your addiction and ask them to install a parental lock software onto your device. It won’t be foolproof, but a parental lock with a password will make it that much harder for you to access x-rated sites on your phone or computer.[2]
- If you don’t want to tell anyone about your addiction, install the parental lock yourself. You’ll know the password, but the few minutes it takes to input it and get around the parental lock might be enough to wake you up and discourage you from watching any porn.
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3Plan an activity to do instead of watching porn. Do you usually watch porn when you’re bored or have nothing else to do? Combat boredom with something else. You might exercise, play video games, or pick up a new hobby to distract yourself whenever you feel tempted.[3]
- Pick an activity that you actually enjoy, not one that you dread. The more you can replace porn with a healthy habit, the better.
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4Spend more time with friends and family members. You can only really watch porn when you’re alone, right? So if you’re alone less, you’re not only building healthy relationships, but you’re avoiding porn use, too. Set an intention to hang out with your loved ones at least a few times per week.[4]
- If you have anyone you trust a lot, consider opening up to them about what you’re going through. Having someone to hold you accountable can help motivate you to keep pushing forward, even when it feels tough.
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5Identify your triggers and avoid them. You might notice that you use porn more when you’re stressed, tired, or lonely.[5] Try to pick out what triggers you and makes you want to watch porn, and do your best to avoid these situations. Sometimes, simply acknowledging a triggering situation is enough to break the cycle of addiction.[6]
- For instance, maybe you watch porn when you’re feeling lonely. Therefore, you might make a plan to hang out with a friend 2 to 3 times per week to avoid that feeling.
- Or, maybe you watch porn when you’re feeling sad. You could make a plan to use a healthy coping mechanism, like journaling, instead.
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6Reduce your stress levels. Lots of people use masturbation (and therefore pornography) as a stress-reliever. If that’s the case for you, try to reduce your stress levels in other ways. You might meditate, do deep breathing exercises, or even try yoga. The more you can reduce your stress levels overall, the better you’ll feel.[7]
- You could also practice self-care or do a relaxing activity, like reading a book and listening to music.
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7Treat any underlying mental health issues. For some people, excessive use of the internet and pornography is a way to self-soothe. Stress, depression, and anxiety may be underlying problems that fuel an internet and pornography addiction. Perhaps you struggled with drugs or alcohol in the past. Excessive internet use and pornography may be a way of numbing similar to how drugs helped you cope.[8]
- Consider addressing ways to cope with depression and deal with anxiety. Talking to a mental health professional is the best way to make a plan that’s right for you.
Professional Help
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1Talk to a therapist. If trying to break your addiction on your own isn't working out, remember that you can always consult with a professional. Therapists are trained to deal with addiction and can help support you as you break free from pornography.[9]
- You can look for a therapist who specializes in either sex or addiction (or both).
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2Join a support group. There are tons of support groups out there for people dealing with sex and pornography addictions. You can find support groups online, or you can look for local ones to attend in person. There, you’ll find people who are dealing with similar struggles, and you can share what you’ve done so far and what you’d like to do in the future.[10] National support groups include:
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3Try medication if a professional recommends it. While there is no medication to treat a porn addiction specifically, a therapist or psychiatrist might recommend medication to treat other mental health issues. If your porn addiction stems from depression, anxiety, or OCD, talk to a mental health professional about a treatment plan that’s right for you.[11]
Signs of a Porn Addiction
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1You feel intense shame or guilt after watching porn. Many people who are addicted to porn go through the same cycle: they are intensely excited before and while watching porn, but immediately after, become intensely ashamed or guilty about it. This cycle can continue for years, and can even happen multiple times within the same day.[12]
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2You spend a lot of time thinking about porn. When you’re not watching porn, you’re thinking about the next time you get to watch porn. Or, you plan your schedule around watching pornography. This shows that you may have an unhealthy obsession with it.[13]
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3Your use of porn feels out of control. Maybe you’ve realized that you have a problem with porn in the past, but you weren’t able to cut back or stop. You feel like porn is taking over your life, and you’re powerless to stop it.[14]
- It’s important to remember that you’re in control of your life. Although it might feel like porn is powerful, you’re the one in charge here.
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4You are neglecting responsibilities or relationships to watch porn. When friends ask you to hang out, do you blow them off to watch porn? Or, maybe you show up late to work because you were watching pornography. When porn starts to impact your real life, it shows that you rely on it too much.[15]
- Similarly, using porn too often can damage your romantic relationships.[16] It can cause performance issues in the bedroom, which might drive a wedge between you and your partner.
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5Your porn use is impacting your life negatively. If you’re still in school, you might see your grades slipping. If you work a job, your boss might talk to you about your performance. The moment that you start to see real-life repercussions from your porn use, that’s when you know it’s become an addiction.[17]
- Porn can be an addiction just like any other. While the treatment options may be different, the way you behave is exactly like someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Additional Resources
| Organization | Phone Number |
|---|---|
| Sexual Addicts Anonymous |
(800) 477-8191 |
| Sexaholics Anonymous |
(866) 424-8777 |
| Sexual Compulsives Anonymous |
(800) 977-4325 |
| Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health |
(610) 348-4783 |
References
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22690-sex-addiction-hypersexuality-and-compulsive-sexual-behavior
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22690-sex-addiction-hypersexuality-and-compulsive-sexual-behavior
- ↑ https://counseling.utdallas.edu/pornaddiction/
- ↑ https://counseling.utdallas.edu/pornaddiction/
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22690-sex-addiction-hypersexuality-and-compulsive-sexual-behavior
- ↑ https://counseling.utdallas.edu/pornaddiction/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202105/new-research-8-common-reasons-people-use-porn
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22690-sex-addiction-hypersexuality-and-compulsive-sexual-behavior
- ↑ https://counseling.utdallas.edu/pornaddiction/
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22690-sex-addiction-hypersexuality-and-compulsive-sexual-behavior
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/porn-addiction
- ↑ https://counseling.utdallas.edu/pornaddiction/
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2020/06/what-is-porn-addiction-compulsivity#1
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/22690-sex-addiction-hypersexuality-and-compulsive-sexual-behavior
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.
- ↑ https://counseling.utdallas.edu/pornaddiction/
About This Article
If you use pornography as a way to cope with boredom, anxiety, or other powerful feelings, you may be dealing with porn addiction. To break free from your addiction, combat any underlying issues, such as depression, anxiety, stress, or substance use. Some coping mechanisms you could try include building your social skills, so you can ask someone on a date, or exercising regularly by playing a sport or trying yoga. Alternatively, if the issue is boredom, try getting involved with your community by joining a reading group or volunteering. On the other hand, when trauma is the source of your addiction problems, consider asking your doctor for a referral to a therapist or talking about your trauma with your friends, your family, or a group of survivors. For more tips from our co-author, like how to modify your environment to help you combat porn addiction, keep reading!
