How to Charm a Lady

Don’t try so hard. If you want to charm a lady, then you have to make your charm look effortless. If you’re bending over backwards to impress her, doing flips or walking on your hands, or trying out every joke in your arsenal, she’ll be on to your tricks. Instead, take a deep breath, relax, and get ready to work your magic. Speak slowly enough for her to hear you, don’t look like you’re clinging onto every single syllable she says, and don’t comment on the fact that your joke has fallen flat if it does. Just be yourself and the rest will follow.^[1]

• Remember that if you really want to charm and succeed with a lady, then you have to show her that you’re comfortable with being who you are. If you’re grinning from ear to ear while sweating and fidgeting, she won’t be charmed.
• Keep your body language calm and relaxed. Keep your hands at your sides or use them to gesture, keep your posture straight, and look at the lady instead of at the floor.^[2]

Laugh at yourself. Women love people who have a good sense of humor and who are also able to laugh at themselves. If you want to charm the lady, then you have to show that you don’t take yourself too seriously, and that you’re comfortable enough with who you are to poke fun at yourself. If you know you’re wearing a ridiculous pink shirt, that you have a cute gap in the front of your teeth, or that you’re known to be clumsy, don’t try to hide these adorable qualities from the girl; instead, show that you’re comfortable with who you are, flaws and all.

• This doesn’t mean that you should be so self-deprecating that you look like you lack confidence. Just a light joke at your own expense or the ability to laugh at yourself if the lady makes the joke will do just fine.^[3]
• Remember that a lady doesn’t want to hear really crass humor. The joke at your own expense can be completely PG.

Be a goofball. This is another way to charm a lady. You don’t have to be completely serious all the time. Talk about your embarrassing nickname for your puppy; show off your ability to juggle. Pull a quarter out of her ear (okay, so maybe not). Don’t be afraid to be a little bit silly, and the lady will be charmed by your childlike approach to the world.^[4] This does not mean that you have to look immature to be a little bit goofy.

• If you’re at a place where a silly song like “The Macarena” comes on, don’t be afraid to show off your moves.
• If you’re too obsessed with looking cool, she won’t want to open up to you. You don’t have to put it all out there, but if you put up too many walls, she won’t feel like she’s getting to know you.

Pay attention to your appearance. A true lady pays attention to her looks, so you should do the same. You don’t have to look like George Clooney, but you should make sure your clothes are appropriate for the occasion, free of wrinkles, smelling fresh, and generally flattering. If you think stubble makes you look more mysterious, then fine, but in general, make sure that your face and hair are well groomed and that you shower before you head out for a night of meeting ladies.^[5]

• You don’t have to obsess over your looks to win a woman over with the care you put into your appearance.
• You can wear a little bit of cologne, but not so much that you overwhelm the woman.

Smile. Don’t underestimate the effect that a big, charming smile can have on a woman. While you don’t have to be grinning from ear to ear, you should smile at the woman when you first meet, and whenever it’s appropriate to smile when you’re talking. As long as it doesn’t make you look nervous, she’ll appreciate that you’re comfortable enough to smile when it feels good, and not feeling too cool to show her a little positive energy.^[6]

• Don’t just smile at the lady. If she sees you smiling at others, she’ll see what a welcoming, positive person you are.
• Smiling and making eye contact are great ways to flirt without touching your date.^[7]

Charm the people around you. If you want to charm a lady, then you can’t just put all of your attention on her and ignore the people around you. She should see that you are the kind of person that can charm almost anyone in his orbit, and that is truly impressive. You should charm elderly people, young folks, bored children, or even the shyest person at the party. Find something that any person can talk about and make that person feel special, carefree, and comfortable opening up to you.

• Though you shouldn’t ignore the lady to do this, if she can see you working your magic on anyone in the room, she’ll be even more charmed by you.
• Make sure that you’re not seen charming too many other people, though. The lady should still feel special at all times even if you’re engaging with other people.
• Another way to charm the people around you is to introduce them to each other in a seamless way. Say something like, “Mary, have you met Joe? He just got a new pit bull and you must have some advice for how to make it behave…”

Speak a foreign language. Do you know a bit of French? Un poco Español? If you know a little bit of a foreign language, show it off without being too annoying. Don’t start throwing every foreign language you know at the woman, but if she finds out that you spend some time in France, or that your father is from Madrid, then bust out a sentence or two and watch her swoon. Sure, this is a cheap trick, but if you use it at the right time, the lady will be completely charmed by you.

• Only try this one if you really feel confident about your skills. Don’t blunder through a phrase or two if you really don’t know much more Spanish than how to pronounce tequila.

Be sexy, yet unattainable. You do not need to be Hugh Grant or even Brad Pitt to be sexy. Sexy is confidence and an aura you send. It comes with self-love (not narcissism, however). Being sexy is simply being out of reach and comfortable in your body. A nice smile is always good, as is having a nice scent. Humans respond to the 5 senses - important senses for you will be scent and touch.^[8]

• If you want to look unattainable, then don't be too needy. The lady should see that you like her company, but that you won't be heartbroken without her.