How to Be a Lolita

Last Updated: March 15, 2022 References

Lolita is a Japanese street fashion inspired primarily by the clothing and style of the Rococo and Victorian periods. This fashion movement started in Japan in the 1980s and has evolved and spread since.^{[1]
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Research source} Nowadays, lolita fashion can be seen worldwide. You can learn what clothes options are available to help you craft your own Lolita look, and how to pull it off with elegance and style.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Getting the Right Clothes

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Pick clothes carefully. Lolita styles of clothes can be found all around you, though it may take a little work to find items befitting the style aesthetic. You can purchase brand items second hand online^{[2]
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- Mainstream stores are unlikely to have dresses or skirts that are full enough to fit a petticoat; while it is possible to find blouses that can work in these stores, it's important that they cover your shoulders, have no cut-outs, and are not cropped nor low-cut.
- If you wish, you may create and sew your own lolita clothing.
- Check out second-hand stores for good deals on accessories and shoes. Check for lacy vintage tops, vests, and mary janes. Additionally, you can try to find jewelry to match your existing pieces. Check here for cheaper options. How to Be a Budget Lolita.
- Beware of online scam sites like milanoo.com or anything that seems fishy. Always verify the trustworthiness of a site before buying from it.
- When picking out your clothes be aware of the silhouettes that are prevalent in the fashion and the flow of the outfit. Lolita coordinates require careful consideration!
2
Find matching pieces. Lolita outfits are called coordinates, or coords, because everything in each outfit is carefully matched to the rest of the outfit. It's about looking elegant with a Victorian, Rococo, and/or Edwardian influence. Based on your preference, the look can be either cute or elegant or a mix of both.
- The most common type of lolita blouse is a button-down shirt with a peter-pan collar, which is a round type of collar. Remember that lolita is a modest fashion- high collars, sleeves, and layers are necessary to properly pull off the look. Think elegance and modesty.
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Achieve the lolita silhouette. Common lolita skirt or dress shapes are the cupcake, bell, and A-line.^{[3]
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Research source} Petticoats/panniers are nearly always necessary to achieve the lolita silhouette,^{[4]
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Research source} while bloomers are also often used to add volume, modesty, and sometimes warmth to the outfit. A lolita skirt should be approximately knee-length, though a bit below or above is acceptable. If a skirt is particularly short (more than 4-5" above the knee) it's often best to consider an underskirt to make it longer.
- Make sure that your petticoat is the right shape! A square-dancing petticoat will not fit under a bell-shaped skirt correctly; you need a bell-shaped petticoat for a bell-shaped skirt.
4
Get socks or stockings. These are required. Knee-length socks, over-the-knee socks, stockings, and opaque tights are often a part of a lolita look as well. Sheer tights are sometimes thought to be too "sexy" for lolita, and ankle socks aren't always fitting for the style (though short socks with lace at the top edge can make a nice accent when worn over tights).
5
Wear some cute shoes! Mary janes are perfect for this look. Lolita shoes usually feature a closed, rounded toe. Flat shoes, often called tea-parties, are the most popular kind of shoe.
- Boots are common too in some gothic or punk lolita styles.
- Another classic type of shoe is the rocking-horse shoe, which features a simple style top with a large chunk of wood at the bottom to add height. Rocking-horse shoes often feature a curved front and a part cut-out of the back.
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Accessorize. A good lolita look can be even better with the right accessories. Depending on what specific look you want to try to build up, you can augment it with some side-items that will make it really pop. Use any of the following, and learn more about crafting specific looks in the next section:
- Parasols
- cute jewelry
- Frilled and themed handbags
- Wrist cuffs
7
Add hair accessories. This is to balance out the volume created below the waistline.^{[5]
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- Wigs are often used in the fashion but are certainly not required.
- Headbands and head bows are very popular, easy, and safe choices to decorate and add volume to a look.
- Other options are rectangular headdress, top hats, hair clips, bonnets, sunhats, or tricorn hats.
8
Select the right makeup application for you. Most lolitas don't use a particularly elaborate make-up routine, but generally a smooth, natural foundation look is paired with subtle color choices (that coordinate with the rest of the outfit) for lipstick and eyeshadow.^{[6]
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- Make-up isn't always necessary for a lolita look. If you don't want to wear make-up, it's fine to leave it off and let your clothes do the work of the style. In fact, in the style originally, makeup was light, or nonexistent.
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Style your hair. Your hair is important too! There are many options for you to choose, but, most often, a hairstyle to balance the volume from your skirt looks best. Try teasing your hair or opt for wearing a wig. Here are some cool hairstyles from Lolita influencers.^{[7]
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- If you have one, make your wig match your specific style. More natural styles will suit Classic or Gothic than a sugary Sweet coord.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Picking a Specific Lolita Look

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Try a sweet lolita look. The most popular style of lolita, it often features light colors and light-hearted motifs. Common motifs are bunnies, kittens, sweets, bears, and clouds.^{[11]
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Experiment with the gothic lolita.^{[12]
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Research source} This type of outfit is the longest-lived out of all the lolita styles. It's pretty modest, characterized by a bell-shaped skirt and puffy sleeves, and a darker make-up and hairstyle. Gothic lolita outfits are generally either black or muted, (and sometimes have a vibrant accent); they feature rich fabrics and detailing.
3
Attempt a classic lolita style. unlike most other lolita styles, this substyle more often utilizes an A-line skirt than a bell-shaped skirt. The color scheme and styling are generally more mature than sweet and more classical than gothic- more muted colors, florals, and wallpaper patterns are quite common, as are classical art themes.
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Try a country-style lolita. This look displays straw baskets, hats, fruit motifs, and gingham patterns.
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Aiming for a shiro lolita look involves all white attire. Sometimes Shiro and kuro lolitas match black and white twin-style apparel to go out as a team. Light and dark is a common play in the lolita world.
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Portray a "broken doll" sort of look for a guro lolita. It’s gruesome yet doll-like. White clothes with blood splatters are the most common choice. How gory you go is up to you, and can range from subtle hints to bandages, a sling, or blood splatters on your clothing. Just be sure to use materials that will not rub off onto your surroundings. ^{[13]
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Wear a nautical style to be a sailor lolita. Sailor collars, dark blues, and whites are what make this style. Nautical symbols such as ship anchors and wheels make very cute additions. Like most lolita styles the same silhouette is expected, quite often this skirt may be pleated, and the outfit may often include a puffed-short-sleeved blouse with pockets.
8
Consider a more masculine lolita look. While lolita is often thought to be pretty whimsical, some looks incorporate traditionally masculine styles.
- Ouji (prince), is a more masculine related style. It does not involve the iconic petticoats and skirts of lolita. Instead, short capri-style pants that cut off at the knee and usually have details on them such as lace-edged cuffs or ruffles are worn.
- Kodona, or "boy style," is similar to Ouji, in that pants are exchanged for petticoats, but shorts or pumpkin shorts are worn instead of pants, and mini top hats are more common than top hats in this style. Kodona focuses on cuteness rather than a princely appearance.
- Other common additions to your look are suspenders, ties, vests, and long socks. The more extravagant styles can include things like spats, canes, top hats, and other Victorian accessories.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Being a Lolita

1
Remember anyone can be a lolita. Lolita fashion is a very accepting subculture, and your looks, race, age, weight, and gender don't matter. Anyone who fits the dressing criteria is welcome.
- You can't be "too ugly" for the style. The focus is on appreciating the style of your clothing and what makes you happy.
- Experiment some to see what you like, and build your style off of that.
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Learn more about the subculture. You may enjoy reading the Gothic and Lolita Bible, Fruits Magazine, or following lolita groups on Tumblr or Facebook. There are a variety of magazines and other print publications for lolita and other j-fashion, first published in Japan in the early 2000s, which have more recently been translated into a variety of languages, English included. Featuring photographs, style descriptions, and a variety of lifestyle guides, these books are common and popular among lolitas and those interested in the style.
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Head to an anime or j-fashion convention.^{[14]
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Research source} Lolita meet-ups are common in some areas, and it's often a good idea to search for a local community of lolitas.
- Likewise, anime conventions and j-fashion conventions are often places to meet fellow lolitas. Many conventions have lolita panels, meets, or swap-meets where you can meet new lolitas, socialize, and sometimes even buy lolita items in person.
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Dress this way for yourself. The point of fashion, in general, is to have fun with your look. If someone doesn't like your coord, remember that you should listen to their criticism, but you still don't have to apply it. And, of course, if someone doesn't like lolita in general, that's their problem.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Learning Lolita Terminology

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Learn some lolita terminology. It's hard to find clothes when you don't know what any of the words mean! Sometimes the language in this subculture can be difficult to type out or say efficiently so there are a lot of abbreviations. There are also a number of Japanese loanwords and style-specific terms. Here are some of the most common:
- OP = One Piece (dress with sleeves)
- JSK = Jumperskirt (a dress with straps, no sleeves)
- SK = Skirt (a heckin' lolita skirt)
- Cutsew = a pieced cotton shirt- not as fancy as a blouse, often knit.
- OTT = Over The Top (referring to how a style is executed in a way that is described as extravagant. The person may be wearing a lot of hair clips or have an especially fancy coordinate.)
- "Brand" = Refers to popular lolita brands.
- Motif = This refers to a reoccurring subject of the dress or coordinate.
  - Ex: apples, breakfast, or Alice in Wonderland.
- Comm = Community (of lolitas or fans of alternate fashion in general)
- Concrit = Constructive criticism (the only type of criticism that is helpful to you)
- Coord = An outfit (short for coordinate)
- Kawaii = This is the Japanese word for cute. Usually, kawaii is used instead of cute when referring to a specific style originating in Japan. Be careful using this word, it can be cringe-inducing. Best to just use it as a search term.
- For a more extensive list of common terms, visit ^{[15]
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Know some popular lolita brands:
- BtSSB = Baby the Stars Shine Bright (first official lolita brand)
- AP = Angelic Pretty (most popular lolita brand)
- IW = Innocent world (a classic style lolita brand)
- AatP = Alice and the Pirates (BtSSB's sister brand who focuses more on elegant clothing)
- Moitie (aka MmM) = Moi-même-Moitié (a gothic lolita brand)
- Meta = Metamorphose temps de Fille
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Know what not to say! there are some lolita-specific words with pretty bad connotations- while it's nice to know if someone's being insulting, it's better to know not to be unkind.
- Ita = A name used for someone whose coord is particularly bad or cheap. It comes from the Japanese word "itai" which means "ouch." This term is hurtful, so refrain from using it, even if you see others who do. Provide concrit instead of using this word, please.
- Brolita = Usually a cis male lolita. This term is inaccurate and outdated because a male lolita is simply a lolita. Try not to use this term.
- Lace Monster = A coordinate with excessive and/or cheap lace. Also not nice to use, so please refrain from using it even if you see others doing so. Here's a link to tell if your lace is cheap. ^{[16]
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Community Q&A

Question

What if I want to embrace my Lolita self in school, but there's a strict dress code?

Community Answer

Look at your dress code closely. Does it specifically state "white socks" or does it say something a little bit looser like "solid colored socks"? If the latter, wear solid pink stockings or black, whatever suits the style you're going for. Do you have free dress days? If so, wear a more casual Lolita look (otherwise known as "Otome Kei"). Don't go over the top. You basically just have to look for loopholes in the dress code.
Question

What if I am a boy?

Community Answer

You can still be a Lolita. Like any other fashion, Lolita is not restricted by gender.
Question

Where can Lolita stuff be purchased?

Community Answer

If you live outside of Japan, your best bet is buying online. I have also sometimes found Lolita clothes in thrift stores.

Warnings

This fashion is about being creative and unique. You should always maintain your individuality while dressing in lolita. You can always spice up your lolita coord to fit your unique style.

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Try not to buy lolita items where you can't see reviews on the product (unless they're brand, of course).

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