How to Alleviate Social Dysphoria for Trans Men

Last Updated: January 18, 2023 References

Distress, depression, anxiety, restlessness, or unhappiness can all be symptoms of social dysphoria. This article teaches ways to cope with social dysphoria, which is dysphoria caused by being misgendered, deadnamed, or otherwise.^{[1]
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1

Affirm yourself.

Use phrases to remind yourself that you are valid. You can use phrases to remind yourself that you are valuable, regardless of how others treat you or what they say. Affirm yourself using phrases like: ^{[2]
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- "I am worthy."
- "My identity is valid."
- "I deserve to be happy and safe."
- "My life is invaluable and has purpose beyond measure."

2

Learn ways to relax.

Social dysphoria can bring on stress and anxiety. Relaxing can help you to quiet your mind and feel peaceful and calm. When you relax, your body responds as well. A few ways to relieve stress and anxiety include:^{[3]
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- Soak in a warm bath.
- Listen to soothing music.
- Meditate.
- Try tai-chi or yoga.
- Drink something warm that doesn't contain alcohol or caffeine, such as herbal tea or warm milk.

3

Correct others.

Don't feel bad about correcting others on your pronouns and/or name. You deserve to be treated equally and have others use your pronouns and name. Cisgender people can be called whatever they want with little to no repercussions – you are entitled to the same. It's actually quite simple to use proper pronouns, and if people regard it as a burden, they're not being respectful or compassionate enough. Your pronouns are a requirement, not a choice you "burden" others with.^{[4]
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- If someone refuses to use your preferred pronouns or name, ignore them, or at the least, limit contact with them.
- To correct someone, you could say, "Actually, my pronouns are he/they," or "My name isn't [X], it's Neo."

4

Present yourself in a way that makes you comfortable.

Gender expression is a part of social dysphoria. For many people gender expression is an important part of gender. Express the gender the way you want to, and avoid dressing the way others would want you to. Some trans people find that expressing their gender can alleviate (social) dysphoria, whether it's by doing things like finding clothes you feel good in, blinding their chest or getting a haircut or new hairstyle. ^{[5]
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5

Find creative outlets.

Painting, drawing, and writing are great ways to express your feelings. It could be a craft or handiwork, writing or playing music, participating in a non-gender-segregated sport with friends, or going out into nature. Whatever feels good and allows you to think about something else for a while, even if it doesn't alleviate the dysphoria, it's nice to get away from it for a while. ^{[6]
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6

Spend time with someone.

Talking to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings and emotions might help you feel better. Having people who understand (what you've been through because they've been through it themselves can) be extremely validating, whether you're talking about your feelings, attending a community event such as a rally or meet up, or simply hanging out and playing video games together.