How to Get a Sweet Girlfriend

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References

Finding a girl who is kind to you and who makes you feel special can be tough. You may be fed up after a relationship where your girlfriend mistreated you or seemed indifferent to your emotions. Therefore, a girl who is sensitive and sweet may be the type of girlfriend you are hoping to find next. You can find a sweet girl if you are willing to define what that means to you, be patient while you look for her, and pursue her when you find her.

Things You Should Know

You can meet girls by engaging in a social hobby, hanging out in your favorite places, or by dating online.
Take care of yourself and put your best foot forward when meeting girls to make a good first impression.
Look for a partner who is communicative, kind, and patient; these are the big signs that a girl will be a sweet partner!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Identifying and Finding the Right Girl for You

1
Identify the traits you are looking for in a girlfriend. You might have some idea of the type of girl you are looking for and what traits you consider to be “sweet.” However, it can help you in your search if you take some time to identify what specific personality traits you are looking for in a girlfriend. Take some time to make a list of qualities that you hope your next girlfriend will have, such as:
- Easygoing.
- A team player.
- Positive, optimistic, and upbeat.
- Energetic and fun.
- Intelligent and thoughtful.
- Affectionate and loving.
- Passionate and driven.
2
Figure out what interests you hope she will share. You don’t have to have everything in common with your significant other, but having some things in common is often helpful for a successful relationship. Try to identify your biggest interests to determine some things that you want your next girlfriend to also care about. For example, you might list:
- Music, such as rock, country, rap, or classical.
- Reading literature, the newspaper, or poetry.
- Sports, such as basketball, football, running, or baseball.
- Playing an instrument or singing.
- Going to the movies or playing video games.
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3
Use your lists to help you figure out where to look. After you have constructed some lists that expand on your definition of a sweet girl, you can use these lists to help you find her. Read over the traits and interests you have listed, then think about where a girl like this might spend her time.
- For example, you might determine that a girl who shares your love of music will probably frequent local concerts and music stores. Therefore, be on the lookout the next time you go to one of these places.
- If you have listed that you want a girl who is kind and caring, then she might volunteer at the local homeless shelter or animal rescue. Try signing up for some volunteer hours as well.
- If you want a girl who has the same political or religious philosophy as you do, then attend local political activism meetings or religious services.
4
Go places you usually go. Many people find someone who they feel connected to just by going about their usual business, such as by going to school, work, church, or to community gatherings.^{[1]
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Research source} Try to stick to your routine and pay attention to the girls who are usually there. One of them might be the perfect girl for you.^{[2]
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Research source}
- Try talking with girls who you see on a regular basis. For example, you can strike up a conversation by saying something like, “I see you here all the time. I am a regular here, too.”
- Or, “How long have you been with the company? I have been here about a year, but I don’t think we have ever had a conversation.”
5
Ask your friends if they know anyone. Although blind dates have a reputation for being awkward, lots of people actually meet their significant other through a friend. Try asking your male and female friends if they know any single girls who might good a match for you.^{[3]
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- Be sure to tell your friends what type of girl you are looking for in detail, such as by sharing your lists of traits and interests with them. Your friends might have a different definition of a “sweet” girl, so be as clear as possible about what you are seeking.
6
Try online dating. Online dating is also a great avenue for meeting a girl. A great benefit of this method is that you can say exactly what you are looking for and connect with girls who have those traits and interests.^{[4]
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Research source} Try making a profile on an online dating site to meet some girls who have the qualities you are looking for.
- Online dating is also a great option if you are a bit shy. You can talk to girls who are interested in you and not have to worry so much about rejection.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Flirting With a Girl You Like

1
Take good care of yourself. Before you head out to do some flirting, take stock of your personal care routine. Taking good care of yourself is an attractive trait. Make sure that you are taking good care of yourself, such as by:^{[5]
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Research source}
- Taking a shower every day and wearing clean clothes.
- Brushing your teeth.
- Combing or styling your hair.
- Wearing deodorant and a bit of cologne.
2
Make eye contact and smile. Making eye contact and smiling is one of the best flirtation techniques you can use.^{[6]
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Research source}^{[7]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} It shows that you are interested, confident, and available. If you see a girl that you want to get to know better, then try to catch her eye and hold her gaze for a moment. Then, smile and hold your gaze for a few seconds longer.
- If she holds your gaze, or looks away and then looks back and returns your smile, then she may be interested in talking to you.
- If she avoids your gaze, or does not return your smile, then she is probably not interested.
- Try not to make too much eye contact—you might seem intimidating.^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
3
Introduce yourself. If you get a smile and some eye contact back, then you can go and introduce yourself. You do not need to do anything fancy to introduce yourself to a girl. Just walk up to her, and say something like, “Hi. My name is ____.”
- You can also find something about the environment to strike up a conversation with her, such as saying, “This place is so busy tonight! We’re lucky we got in! I’m ___ by the way.”
- Or, “Beautiful day today! I love sitting on the patio here while I sip my cappuccino. What are you drinking? I’m ___.”
- Pay attention to her body language as you approach her. If she turns to face away from you as you approach or looks around the room when you approach, then she is probably not interested. Look for positive body language, such as facing you, making eye contact, smiling, etc.^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
4
Ask for her number. If you end up talking to her for a few minutes and it seems to be going well, then try asking for her number. This does not need to be a big production either. Try to keep your request simple and direct, such as by saying:
- “I’ve really enjoyed talking with you. Can I get your number so we can do this again sometime?”
- Or, “This was really fun! We should do this again. What’s your number?”
5
Arrange a date. When you feel ready to give her a call and ask her out, you can sue a direct approach or by more subtle. Some options include:^{[10]
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Research source}
- “I’m going bowling this weekend and you should definitely come along. How does Saturday night at eight sound?”
- “I was thinking of trying out that new sushi place tomorrow night. Do you like sushi?”
- “I’m going to see a movie tonight and I just thought I’d see if you are free. Want to join me?”

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting to Know Her Better

1
Ask questions to get to know her on your first date. First dates are important. You get to learn a lot about the person and then use that information to help you decide if you have found a match. Some questions you can ask on a first date to help you get to know the girl include:^{[11]
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Research source}
- How was your day/week?
- What do you like to do for fun?
- What kind of music do you like?
- Where do you like to go on vacations?
- Do you like your job?
- What are you passionate about?
- Do you have roommates or do you live alone?
2
Pay attention to her words and actions. On your first date, you can begin to get a better idea if this girl meets your criteria for a “sweet” girl. Is she nice? Intelligent? Funny? Optimistic? Think about the list of traits and interests you made to help you figure out if she is someone you want to spend more time with, such as on a second date.
3
Watch for red flags. You might get a sense that this person is not someone you can or want to spend much time around. However, there are some red flags to watch out for as well. Try to keep a mental log of these along with any positive traits or interests the person has. Some red flags to watch for include:^{[12]
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Research source}
- She is only talks about herself and does not seem interested in getting to know you.
- She constantly complains about her life, the restaurant, friends, family, or other things.
- She is rude or unreasonably demanding of the waiters or other employees in a restaurant or café.
- She keeps checking her phone and seems more interested in it than in engaging with you.
- She expresses strong political, religious, or other personal views that you disagree with.
4
Watch for self-control and conscientiousness. People who have these qualities tend to be better at maintaining positive relationships.^{[13]
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Research source} For some, these qualities may also be part of what makes someone “sweet.” Be on the lookout for these traits if you want a satisfying, long-term relationship. Some ways that you can assess the girls that you meet for this quality include:
- Noting how well she listens and responds to what you say. Does she stare off into space when you are talking or start texting friends on her phone? Poor listening skills can signal trouble for a long-term relationship.
- Paying attention to her patience. Does she get impatient if she has to wait for you? If so, then she may have a hard time delaying gratification, which can be trouble for a long-term relationship.
5
Make plans to see her again. If the first date goes well and you want to see her again, then arrange another date. You can do this by telling her at the end of the night or by calling a few days later.
- Try saying something like, “I had a great time on our first date and I’d like to see you again. Would you like that too?”