How to Encourage Big Kids to Wear Diapers

Last Updated: November 30, 2022

If your Big Kid has been wearing underwear, but for some reason, you feel they may need the occasional diapered protection, why not encourage the kid to re-try diapers for the health benefits of their wearing protection - regardless of their actual potty-training status! If you feel it prudent to keep your Big Kid in diapers, but the Big Kid doesn't think so, you may find some "relief" using the information contained within this article.

Part 1

Part 1 of 5:

Considering the Process and Preparing for the Next Steps

1
Determine why you feel the diaper is necessary. Diaper use is fine for kids of any age during solo playtimes, long car trips, bedtimes, and naps, but use when not necessary at other times may cause more harm than good.
- Placing a previously diaper-free child back into diapers may lead to depression and resentment. However, this can depend on the child's self-esteem and physical well-being.
- Do not ever use diapers as a form of bedwetting punishment - as no child wants to have wetting accidents while in a state of relaxation. However, prepare yourself for the chance that a soiling accident occurs in the diaper. Changing a soiled diaper is handled the same way as when the child was little.
2
Decide how long the Big Kid will need to be diapered. The length of the duration will depend on the child. For parents, you may think that Big Kids will need the diapers because they don't like change for the sake of change.
- Longer trips where stops aren't possible may more prolong a necessary need to be inconvenienced by the diaper. Yet shorter trips more often also need the diaper. Some kids may enjoy using diapers for longer journeys because they can enjoy the comfort of not having to stop routinely to relieve themselves - especially between stops where they may not be possible stops at all. If the child tolerates diapering, you may want to use diapers for these occasions, but you may need to tell them that they will be using them until you get them to where you are going.
3
Consider the added costs of the amounts of diapers you'll need. Putting your Big Kid back into diapers may put financial and physical stress on you and your child. Diapers - especially disposable diapers - aren't cheap and (due to their use) may make you run loops to keep your diapered-Big Kid healthy.
4
Talk to a doctor before you proceed to encourage the Big Kid to extend their diapered life. If you think they might not even need them and the child shows signs of outgrowth, doctors can treat children for real medical conditions, and diapers aren't the solution for many everlasting issues. For others, parents may need to talk to others in support groups to see if it's suitable for their child.
- There are medical conditions that can result in a child's long-term/lifetime need to wear diapers. If your child has to wear diapers due to a diagnosed medical condition, help them cope with not feeling 'normal' in public by praising their ability to manage their condition and be in school. They aren't like the other kids who only have to deal with regular underwear, and that they are better because they are grown up enough to be in school and take care of their bodies.
5
Have an understanding of where your child may come from - because they may not have the same views as you. Some may feel like diapering is just one big "yuck," while others may covet them from their pleasurable past experiences. Some might even come to you asking you if you could diaper them without you asking your Big Kid, so you will want to be aware of this situation.
6
Talk in lighter tones when speaking to your child. Encouragement should be done to make it seem like you want to diffuse every bit of anger while making it seem acceptable to both you and them.
- Don't make the situation any worse than it is. You will feel like screaming when you realize that diapering will need extra help from you, but you will want to sound encouraging when speaking to your Big Kid.
7
Consider spots where you can place their diapers for later. Keep their diapers in a readily available spot, where the child won't be too resistant and won't fight you when being diapered. Most parents set up these spots in the Big Kids' bedroom, master bedroom, and in other spots of the changing room floor - for quick diaper-changing access at all times.
- If they aren't young, diapers may be kept in an area where they can reach them, yet up and out of the way of other onlookers.
- Younger children between two and three years of age may still need them to be used in the same manner as those when they were infants - in spots up and out of the way of the child.
8
Set up a diaper-changing room and several fuss-free spots in all the other rooms. For at least the first week or two, set up a room to allow the Big Kid time to sample their diapers.
- Places that are quick to get to yet are quick enough to clean up, are fuss-free, and enjoyable for all those involved from the Big Kids' diaper changes. Recognize that quick-change spots may exist on carpeted floors, which may provide some privacy and self-respect to the wearer and some security of knowing anyone won't walk in on them unexpectedly during the diaper change.
9
Utilize additional areas if a changing table isn't possible. Use a foam pad on a stable office or coffee table covered with a waterproof tablecloth.

Part 2

Part 2 of 5:

Talking with Your Child

1
Get to know how your child might feel with the possibility of being diapered but keep notice of the possibility of substitute products that the child might not have considered for their diapering needs.
- Look into using cloth diapers for the child. Cloth diapers are less noticeable since their fabric doesn't sound crinkly. And when you factor in the larger sizes, fitting kids could never be more straightforward. However, more hassle is required of the rubber pant, cloth diapers, and diaper pins. Cloth diapers often provide the necessary absorption the Big Kid will still need.^{[1]
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  - Watch for cloth diapers at superstores such as Target and Walmart - as these are designed for babies of all infant and toddler sizes. They rarely go on sale, so prepare for a shocker!
  - Also, when looking for cloth diapers' rubber pants, the child needs more room for the diaper to fit and not leak!
- Consider disposable diapers for convenience. Depending on your Big Kids' weight and waistline measurements, almost all supermarkets have some diaper that will fit the child. If possible, pick up the first pack in secret, or bring the child and make it seem like you'll be getting these diapers for a friends' kids - not letting them know that you are buying these diapers for them (making them think you're educating how much space they "think" their friend's parents may need for their friends' diapers instead).
  - Diapers range in sizes from newborn to those meant for toddlers in their early 2 to 4-year-old sizes. Some may even have bigger sizes that even ten and 11-year-olds may use - meant for bedwetting.
  - Big Kids of less than 40 to 50 pounds may still fit into baby diapers and may not need to be singled out at first. Check all brands - including the non-standard brands - such as store brands because there will often be a diaper there for every Big Kid in some respect.
- Don't single out disposable bedwetting diapers for those where baby diapers won't fit. Big Kids will prefer disposable bedwetting diapers because they are a popular substitute for the poorly-designed diapers used on babies. They don't have baby-like designs, so they are popular for those not liking the look of their diapers, and because they cover a wider range of weights, they are overly popular for the larger crowd. These diapers are often a crossover diaper between babies and Big Kids but are still kid-and parent-friendly.
- Pampers' UnderJams - Pampers' bedwetting diaper line doesn't have such a large weight range and is more geared towards the 2 to 3-year-old sizes. If available, find a package of Pampers' Ninjamas diapers that should fit Big Kids up to 125 pounds.
2
Speak to your child about their needs and wants and why you feel it is necessary to diaper them again. Is it to help run out a package left behind from the previous diapering that your child might still be able to fit into, or is it so that the short vacation has no space for error, and diapering makes the trip all that much quicker and less painful on you?
3
Get to know what types of diapers are available. Diapers may still be limited to those disposable or cloth diapers you've used in the past, also consider bedwetting diapers and adult incontinence diapers in your search for suitable diapers.
4
Get to know why a child might disband the notion of wearing diapers again. The child might fear the diaper's crinkling sound, making them stand out in the crowd. Others don't like the look of the plastic outer cover being so churlish, and others don't like the feeling of the wetness being so close to their skin, and others fear the factor of rashes being so unpleasant on their skin being treated.
- Other kids won't mind and won't think anything less than "pleasure" and want to diapered again. These children need to see that there's a downside to everything, but you will need to sound pleasured to help them with all their diapering needs - as if you were going to carry them through without any break.
5
Let the children understand - through smell - that diapers are pleasant on the senses when correctly used at first. The aroma of baby powder makes the diapers smell good, and if changed in a pleasant-smelling room, this aroma fills the air with only good scents.
- Not until the end, when things change, and their diapers become "full," that the scent becomes unbearable, where the child will come up to you begging to be changed - whether in vocalizations or sounds - whimpering or crying, only to let their feelings of the diaper's initial smells take over their fears. They might question themselves with "Why did I say I'd allow it when I knew it would be this way?" or the age-eternal mention of "Get this diaper off me now!"
- Communicating in a room that smells completely like baby powder or fresh linens may become a detraction to your overall decision and may make them feel like it is something they don't want to be handled. Lessen the smell by opening windows or by choosing a different scent. Use a calming agent such as lavender or chamomile to make the feeling better and the tension fade.
6
Provide distractions as you try to diaper them - all while you explain why you feel diapering is necessary. Some may be willing to accept diapers as their comfort items, while others consider either thumbsucking or bottle feeding to be adequate soothing instruments.
- While it may seem tempting to use lullabies to soothe them back into a calming sense initially, resist the urge. Few kids see lullabies as calming when they get angry when they are faced with such a situation.

Part 3

Part 3 of 5:

Talking to Them

1
Find a spot where you, your significant other, and your Big Kid child can talk about your thoughts. While this will involve only those needing to explain their points of view, make sure that siblings and relatives can't hear the foretold conversation. Sit them down on the edge of a chair, bed, or on the floor of the room, where you can sit next to or near them.
- You don't even need to provide the room with the diapers during the talk, but you should have a plan to explain the need for encouragement.
2
Caress them if necessary, without making them feel overly comforted or too churlish. Avoid holding them in your arms and cradle-rocking them back and forth to put the babyish-spin on the situation quickly and try to lure their decision towards the need to be diapered (when they'll likely appeal your decision at all costs).
- Sit down in the room that you intend to use as their diapering room, and have them sit down either next to you or on top of your Indian-style crossed legs. Let them lean back onto you if necessary, but avoid cuddling them.
3
Talk to your kids about this in your private dwelling away from other prying ears - so that those not needing to know - won't know about this switch back to diapers. If you try to ask them and they tell you to kindly "cut it out," you may want to back off and talk to them in a more private location (as at your home or apartment).^{[2]
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- While it's okay to bring in your spouse or significant other, make sure other siblings or friends aren't in earshot of the conversation.
4
Do not bring the first diaper to be used straight to the conversation or show that you have intentions of diapering them again. Big Kids realize their parents are up to something when they sense their parents have taken the next step without the child's consent unless the parents saw the child doctor and found it medically necessary to continue diapering.
5
Bring up the subject straight-out, using words your Big Kid will understand, and that can't be belittled by the feelings of the words coming out of your mouth! Try starting it with their name followed by "I feel you will still need to use diapers. I know this is a hard issue to try again, but I feel it's in your best interests to use them again." (or something someone their age can understand).
- If the Big Kid is much younger than 3 or 4 years old or is medically disabled, carry on with diapering like diapering was lost and will now continue and is now a part of their everyday routine.
6
Utilize words that don't convey babyish actions or that involve other products besides the diaper. Explain what you plan to do ("I would like to diaper you again"), explain why they need to be diapered ("I feel you need diapers because you (x reason)"), where they will be diapered (Diapering will be done in (x room)"), when they will need their diapering ("You'll need diapers periodically"), who will be allowed to change them and to be around in the changing area ("Let mom and dad (one or both) be present during the diaper changes"), and how it's going to be accomplished (explain the process). Explain how this ties into public forms of use (should these needs arise).
- Try to tie each answer to all question words as each question becomes part of the process. Reminder: Question words include: Who, What, Where, When, Why, Which, and How
7
Let them know that being diapered doesn't mean they will utilize more mobile treatment forms that make them seem immobile or unmovable. Unless otherwise necessary, realize that diapering doesn't always mean "strollers are necessary," and they must allow you to take their mobility away from them.
- While being diapered, kids often think diapering means becoming immobile and not able to control any body part in any direction - unless they are medically disabled or worse. But that's not true, and you'll need to tell them to stop worrying about that.
8
Let them know that just because they need to be diapered again, doesn't mean they'll be treated like babies.'^{[3]
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9
Encourage diaper-wearing. Make them understand that they can confide in you both day and night for a consistent diapering schedule that won't be belittled by other family members, relatives, and friends, making it flexible in responding to their own child's use of the product. Make diapers seem pleasurable and something they'd want to enjoy without explaining why your aspects are of utmost importance at first.
10
Remind them of the benefits of diaper use. Try to see diaper-wearing through their eyes, by what they'd think they'd feel like when wearing them. Acknowledge the enjoyment of using their own bathroom without needing to be disturbed and something that will still keep them semi-dry throughout their wearing time. While it might be natural for a Big Kid to retrain towards diaper-wearing and recognize they can "go" whenever and wherever they need to let go, some Big Kids need some extra encouragement to use their diapers again.
- As long as they don't feel like you're hiding something that will continue to make them feel babyish, make them see this period as just a normal part of growing up.
11
Accept that some Big Kids might not find it acceptable to use their diapers at first. But over time, they might open up to making it easier to provide freedom and make it easier for them to provide the relief they need.
12
Remind them of the drawbacks of using the diaper. Let them know that diapering will require added time to both schedules, and you must be able to commit to providing them the same care you gave them when they were only infants being diapered to keep them dry and make them happy!
- Avoid reminding them of the negative emotions of getting an overnight diaper change. Remind them that changes may still need to be done overnight, but the Big Kid can set the rules when they think the best change will be given. Tell them, "While diapers won't force you to get up out of your bed, diapers can give you the power to control your body anytime, anywhere to keep you healthy. However, expect to be cold shortly after that up until the diaper is changed."
- Let them understand that if they feel they need a desperate diaper change, they will be able to open up to tell you it's okay to let you know when a change is necessary.
- Don't fill your Big Kids' minds with the feelings that the diapers are the only things that will promote their well being or that these diapers are the best thing that you've done to keep them healthy or improve their health at their age - all since they were a baby.
13
Don't scare the Big Kid that sometimes diaper-wettings turn into diaper poopings too. It'll already be imminent for the child to know that their diapers will protect them under both conditions, and they shouldn't fear should the need for pooping arise inside the diaper. However, if you tell them that poop may come out into their diapers, they'll be humiliated and want to stop using them for both conditions. It will scare them so much in many cases, where some Big Kids may not even want to use diapers point-blank and may feel resistant to not trusting you about your decisions again.
14
Do not let them worry that the Big Kids' siblings will get told of their siblings' diaper use, either through accidental mention or intentional knowledge. Let the Big Kid understand that they can oversee each person's interactions with their diapers and know who's seeing what part of their diapers they see - even if someone else knows the diaper-changing process from other kids' interactions with diapers - especially at first.
15
Agree on their diaper use in public spaces and how things may differ with their diapers. Although you can still keep their diapers hidden and disguised, having others come into the home can be quite tricky to maintain their pile.
16
Explain how good cooperation is essential at getting their needs met when they need them to be during this now-diapered stage. Explain times where good cooperation can help achieve the task even quicker or better while still being relaxed. Be able to explain what can happen if they don't have good cooperation skills. Explain to them that it will take longer for you to change them and for them to feel comfortable again.
17
Let them know that there will be an end - however short it will be. If it's just for a little bit - such as for playtime or for that short vacation or that package is finished, let your Big Kid know that you will return them to wearing underwear when their diapering wearing time is over.
18
Explain that you may check on them from time to time, but they may come and tell you at any time. Let them understand that regardless of their age, health is an important part and that you can change their diaper. They need to accept your full-fledged faith and encouragement to continue to wear the diaper without making them feel too babyish.

Part 4

Part 4 of 5:

Allowing Your Child the Chance to Have their Say

1
Look for signs of stalling throughout their sides of the story. The use of long pauses and sounds that make you wonder "what did they say" or "I didn't think they knew that word" often are ways kids know how to stall for time on a decision this crucial to their well-being.
2
Look for rebuttals throughout. Although it's uncommon to know just what rebuttals will come out of the child's mouth, some rebuttals are common in whatever part of the process they are spotted at. Some are just stalling because they feel they are fighting a losing battle with the possibility of the diapering session awaiting them quickly. In contrast, others know that their embarrassment signs make them annoyed and want to say little to nothing about them - avoiding the imminent embarrassment.
- Let them outwardly express their signs of personal embarrassment. Unless your child feels okay with you peeking at their private parts, most children won't take well to diaper-wearing unless they want to continue further diaperings. Some may fear that diapers aren't cool and not geared towards them and their emotional well-being.
3
Let them express their feelings that you'll be diapering them soon, and you'll be seeing parts they wouldn't want others to see. and will want to stall your imminent diapering session - realizing they might be fighting a losing battle fought against you. They'll probably want to think of other approaches to forestall your imminent diapering. If they say nothing after a minute or so, proceed to the next step.
- Let them talk about how their friends aren't being diapered and how they will soon be again. Either switch the question or explain how your Big Kid is unique and get special treatment that their friend won't get from their parents.
- Let them mention only using them during certain times or settings that they seem used to be worn in but can give both of you some wearing freedom. Reason with them without bargaining to a viewpoint too much different than what you'll deem "unacceptable."
4
Scale back diaper use at first one-way or the other. Some Big Kids accept diapering during the day and not at night, while most parents prefer to scale it back to diapering at night and not in the daytime. Others may need to be constantly diapered all day and night long, as their needs indicate. Healthy diapering decisions are required to keep your Big Kid healthy!
5
Don't force the Big Kid's encouragement into wearing diapers - even if they don't need to wear them. Do not despair if they tell you it's not okay to diaper them. Tell them that they can come to you privately at any time and talk about it. You should be open to discussion to see why they feel not open to the idea at any time. They may come to you later asking - sometimes begging - for your decision to diaper, and you'll need to decide if it's okay. Give them good reasons why you feel they are correct, but accept the decision that both you and your child will make.
- Watch for resistance from older children. Once children reach older ages, some Big Kids will be resistant to diapers - as diapers will seem babyish to them. Although you may need to calm down their tantrums when they arise, alert them that there are alternatives to many of their issues if they can tell you why they are angry.

Part 5

Part 5 of 5:

Letting the Child Sample the Diaper

1
Let the Big Kid sample the diaper in a normal situation. Although you'll need to get some consent to let them know what to expect from your encouragement, gently lay them back onto the changing surface and have them experience their first Big Kid diapering session - grabbing a diaper in the meantime.
2
Keep them comfy and let them show you that they remember what a diaper is used for, how the diaper is used, and that the diapering process will proceed as normal again. Provide for a warm room, and allow them to get their comfort item (be it a pacifier, baby bottle, or even their thumb, teddy bear, or something that can easily be moved out of the way and get them to stop fidgeting).
3
Show them that diaperings now provide them time to interact with you - their parents - and they should enjoy this time on an older level of comfort. Show them they won't need to help see what is going on with their body if they trust that their diaper will help them control urges when and where they happen.
4
Treat them in an age-appropriate way. Visual and verbal cues between them in their diapers and their crying and verbalizations of them wanting them changed - will get them to interact with you in a way that makes both of you encouraged that they'll be using them the way they were deemed necessary for their age.
- Even if they wear diapers, don't use babyish words and tones with your Big Kid (unless they are okay with you doing so too).
5
Trial run the diapering with them. Although you can mention that the diapering routine is slightly revised at their older age, they can continue to be set on their ways to do whatever they want. But remind them of the diaper's few conveniences. Only a Big Kid will see the "need to go" as a positive aspect of the diaper, as adults always see past it as the child will later need changing and not seeing the same diapering element- a significant inconvenience for them.
- They may or may not release a trickle of "pee," and that's okay and to be expected. They will show you how well they are warming to their diapers' feelings and expressions - which may be as simple as a trickle of pee - released into the diaper. If they do release pee, some kids are testing their caretakers to see how quickly they can get them to help them clean from their "mess." Others may need to go, and others may not need to go - in fear that others will know their deep, dark secret too quickly.
6
Allow some level of crying during a diaper change. It's an anger release method to the Big Kid that is still needed to release anger for their parents to frustratingly take their diaper off of them now and for someone to take action quickly. But as long as it doesn't evolve into a full-blown tantrum, it's okay to let the crying go.
7
Talk with them face-to-face as you diaper them. Expect the Big Kid to continue squirming as they try to work themselves out of the item most Big Kids won't want, and that's okay - since they'll most likely be frustrated with your choice as they reacquaint themselves to the first diaper.
- If necessary, pacifiers, baby bottles, or thumb-sucking may be reintroduced until they've gotten used to the diaper's comfort level.
8
Ensure the child understands that they'll use it freely, but only you can remove their diapers to change them - to make them feel healthy again. Give the Big Kid constant encouragement not to loosen their diaper. Give them some freedom in certain situations.
- Kids love exploring all the different parts of the world around them - throughout all other scenarios. They can often be found loosening their diaper tapes to see what will happen - even when it's not prudent to do so. Diaper tapes are easy to be removed by Big Kids, and it may be imprudent to use diapers on them if they will keep loosening them on their own, and you will want to keep reminding them not to do so - re-closing them if they are opened.
- Have some faith after the child willingly goes back into their diapers. But expect a first reminder to be necessary, to keep a vigilant eye on the situation.