How to Decide What to do on a First Date

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: October 11, 2022

Going on a first date with someone new can be exciting and a bit scary. It's hard to know exactly what to expect or plan for on your date and this can make it seem a bit intimidating. Thankfully, there are some things that you can do to make your date a great one. Talking with your date, planning something you both will love and avoiding some common mistakes can all help your date to become a memorable one.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting Some Ideas for a Date

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Talk with your date about their interests. To help you learn more about your date's interests and what they might enjoy doing, try asking them about what they like. By discovering a bit of information about your date's interests or personality, you can plan a date that both of you will love. Try asking your date for a bit of personal information to help make your date a lot of fun for both of you.
- If your date is a very energetic person, you might want to go bowling or hiking.
- If your date seems laid back, you might want to meet up for coffee and conversation.
- If your date has a specific hobby or interest, try to plan the date around those interests.
2
Try going to trivia night together. Trivia nights can make for great first dates. Playing trivia can help keep conversations going and allow you both to present your personalities. You'll be able to learn more about your date's interests and opinions and judge if you might want to see them again.^{[1]
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- You'll be able to learn how your date handles loss or winning.
- You'll be able to judge how competitive your date is.
3
Take a new class together. Learning something new can make for a great first date. Since both of you will be beginners, it can help make you feel equal and united as you try to tackle a new skill. Try to think of something both you and your date would like to learn and schedule your date around that activity.^{[2]
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- You might try to learn how to cook a new dish together.
- You and your date might take a painting class together.
- You could try taking a basic pottery class with your date.
- If your date is skilled at something, you might ask them to teach you that skill.
4
Do something physically active on your date. Planning your date around something active can be a good first date. It's been shown that demonstrating your physical ability and vitality can make you seem more attractive to your date. Try planning your date around something active to make it an engaging and exciting one.^{[3]
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- Going rock climbing can be a great active date.
- Try taking a hike with your date.
- Going for a bike ride together can be a fun first date.
- You might try bowling together on your first date.
5
Try something adventurous together. Doing something new to both you and your date can be a good idea for your first time out together. Showing that you are adventurous can be a great way to make a good impression on your first date. Try to think of something new that you and your date would like to do when planning your first date.^{[4]
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- You might try taking your date to a restaurant and trying some new, exotic foods.
- You could try going to a theme park and riding the biggest roller-coasters.
- Make sure you take your date's personality into consideration. You don't want them to be made uncomfortable.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Going on the Date

1
Take a few moments and relax before your date. First dates can bring up feelings of nervousness or anxiety. However, these feelings are natural and can actually make your date better. If you realize that feelings of nervousness are actually feelings of excitement, you can relax and enjoy your date. Allow yourself to feel excited for your date to have the most fun during it.^{[5]
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- Feeling nervous is energizing.
- Acting nervous or slightly embarrassed can actually be endearing.
2
Don't worry about what you should talk about. Be open and honest with your conversation during your date. It can be tempting to second guess the things you want to say in order to make a certain impression. However, speaking openly and asking plenty of questions will help you both learn more about each other and keep the conversation going. Try not to worry too much about what you are saying to help make your first date a good one.^{[6]
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- Asking general questions such as “Where did you grow up?”, aren't as engaging as “Do you like sci-fi movies?”
- Asking questions will show that you are interested in your date.
- Don't be afraid to ask something you want to know about.
3
Talk as much as you listen. Talking too much or too little can both cause trouble on your date. You'll want to make sure that both you and your date are talking the right amount to make each other feel comfortable. Keep some of these conversational tips in mind on your first date:^{[7]
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- Don't focus the conversation on yourself.
- Ask plenty of questions about your date.
- Avoid bragging.
- Don't be afraid of the occasional moments of silence.
4
Be honest and be yourself. Putting on a show for your date might result in another date. However, playing a character or adopting a fake personality won't last in the long run. If you want to genuinely meet someone and enter into a long term relationship, always be yourself.^{[8]
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- Being yourself will allow someone who is genuinely compatible to connect with you.
- Allowing yourself to act naturally will turn away people that wouldn't be a good match.
- Don't try overly hard to impress someone. You'll want your connection to be a genuine and natural one.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Avoiding Mistakes on Your First Date

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Show up on time. First impressions are very important and it's no different on your first date. You'll want to make sure that you show up on time to make a great first impression on your date. Showing up late can cause your date to judge you less favorably during your time together. Always make sure you show up on time to help make your date go smoothly.^{[9]
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- If you will be late, let your date know.
- Showing up a bit early can be a good idea.
2
Don't talk about any exes or past relationships. Talking about an ex can make it look like you haven't moved past them yet. Even if you are directly asked about your ex, keep the details light and move into another subject. Avoid complaining or talking about any exes to help make your first date go well.^{[10]
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3
Don't play on your phone too much. The focus of your date should be the person you are on the date with. Although phones can be tempting to look at or may offer you an escape during a lull, keep the focus on your date. Giving your date your full attention can help make a good impression and will allow you both to determine if you'd like another date.^{[11]
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- If you must take a call or answer a message, apologize and do so quickly.
- Going to the rest room can be polite way to excuse yourself if you have to take a call.
4
Avoid over sharing personal information. Although you will want to share some personal information on your date, you won't want to over share. Giving too much information to your date can make them uncomfortable. Keep your conversations light and only share what you think would be appropriate to help make your first date comfortable and fun.^{[12]
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- For example, don't talk about any medical issues.
- You might want to avoid discussing politics on your first date.
- Talking about something personal, like religious beliefs, may be too much for your first date.